Monthly Archives: September 2007

Hey Mr. Kheny …. NICE Names!

I got up today at around 9 in the morning and headed straight to the newspaper. And finally I see someone who has got guts of steel! I mean check this out!

“Kheny calls Gowda as ‘Ravana’ and the Chief Minister as ‘Kumbhakarana’ ! “

This dude Ashok Kheny is the owner of Nandi Infrastructure Corridor Enterprise (NICE). He has been the guy trying to build a world class road from Bangalore to Mysore (BMIC) since a decade. NO NO! It doesn’t mean that he is not good at his job. On the other hand, he is one guy on this planet who has taken a whole load of shit from a whole load of people. Trust me when I say that this guy has gone to hell and come back and then realized that there isn’t much of a difference!

The people in question- Gowda and his son, the Chief Minister of Karnataka- have been tormenting this Kheny guy since time immemorial. And why? For some alleged land encroachment. They did everything from threatening him to passing a legislation to the effect of nullifying his contract (or something like that). They have stalled this road project for well over a decade and they still wont allow him to complete this road!

I mean just go and see the work that these NICE guys have done so far as they have been allowed! It is just off Mysore Road near Kengeri. The moment you enter this road, you will feel like you have been transported into some Autobahn or something! No kidding! The road is as smooth as silk and perfectly laid out! And there is this one spot which he has built in such a way that you will refuse to believe it is actually possible in India!

Me being a Civil Engineer, am able to tell you that you have no freakin’ idea how much time and effort has gone into the making of that road! If you think you have some clue, then think again! Right from the surveying to the blasting to the soil testing to the designing and finally to the execution- it is a slow and painful process. And this dude has executed all this to perfection!

And these politicians cannot see anything improving around them. So they find some arbit reason and make so much noise that people eventually believe that somehow, farmers are affected. And whenever farmers are in the picture, it is an unwritten rule that all should side with the farmer! And so this Kheny dude was at the receiving end at most of the times!

And then today I see that he has finally been true to himself and called the former Prime Minister of India as Ravana and his son who is the present Chief Minister of Karnataka as Kumbhakarana! Man I tell you this Kheny guy has guts of steel! It takes loads of guts to say that!

Hats off to you man!

NOTE: The above blog is not meant to disparage any Political Party or  worker.

TIME

“Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

Waters under the moon

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it’s sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way, but you’re older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

Pulse

Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time has gone, the song is over, thought I’d something more to say”

Waters in Bangalore

I dont know why I have typed the above lyrics. Maybe its because it has had a profound effect on me ever since I first came across it and it will remain the best lyrics ever written.

Concert

And for those of you who do not know what the above lyrics stands for, I strongly suggest that you either commit suicide or spend the rest of your life exploring Pink Floyd and subsequently realize how you have led an ordinary life till the time you listened to Pink Floyd.

And I am blessed to have attended the Roger Waters concert that took place in Bangalore! The happiest day of my life! Singing “Another Brick in the Wall” with 20000 other floyd maniacs and with the man himself-Roger Waters! That is something! And I have watched the P.U.L.S.E concert video so many damn times that I know exactly which light in the concert behaves how!

And if you belong to that really hopeless group of people who cannot appreciate Pink Floyd, then trust me when I say that you guys are the biggest losers on this planet. You might as well commit suicide.

And oh ya! I am high!

Some Achievement

I have tried to do so many  things so far. More than not, I never got hold of them. So many things I have tried to accomplish and again, more often than not, I just didn’t get them.

Way back in my school days, I tried to win something in  sports apart from my 3rd place in tricycle race in my Kindergarden. Never got around doing anything better than second last. Then there was this whole thing about me getting the first position in my class in my acads. And that I did. But frankly there was nothing that I had to do. I just had to go and write my exams and the rest of the class was just dumb enough not to pose enough any threat to me. Of course, it was a different story altogether when the class was changed and I never got around the top 5 ever since. Or that time when I was supposed to get into IIT and all that. Bloody wasted 1 year and about half a lac of my parents’ money. And then I dont even make it past screening. OK and then I come to this  place for which I have developed a lot of respect over the years. And I believe that I have a new beginning and that I can start all over again. But look at where I am. Languishing somewhere in mid class. And I have dreams of making it into some big name Univ in USA to do my MS. This damned life has been more of unfulfilled dreams than anything else. Damn! I couldnt even get high on weed! So I had to revert to alcohol.

But this blog post is not about all the times that I never got hold of. This is something to celebrate. Yeah! Look at my Blog hits! F***in I hit 1000-and that too in a matter of 3-4 months! Yeah thats some achievement. I don’t care if you think this is some sort of lame excuse to celebrate or whatever. This is something that will get only better!

And for those of you who think this is all that  there is to me. Just you wait. Just f***in’ wait. Something big is coming. You heard that?

SOMETHING BIG IS COMING…. 

10 Most Exciting Things of My Past Week

This has by far been the most boring week of my entire life. I have never been bored so much that I even considered injuring myself in some way so that things get a little spiced up. Anyway I made a list of the ten most exciting things that happened to me this week. So here goes:

10) The realization that I have grown older by 1 more week.

9)  Finding some moron’s calculator under my desk in  the classroom.

8)  That sweeper dude cleaning my room thoroughly. Now it looks habitable for humans. I gave him all my stack of newspapers as a token of gratitude.

7) The opening of another center of that coffee shop near my hostel, which was earlier exclusive only to the Girls’ block (which is incidentally close to 1 km away).

6) Hitting double digits on my blog stats for the day, after a long time.

5) Waking up and getting a message that the class has been cancelled so I can sleep more.

4) The realization that next week are my mid semester exams and that I dont have to study much this time as I am in the final year.

3) Getting drunk and chasing the hostel dogs out of the hostel and then listening to TOOL when I was high enough.

2) Wishin two of my very close friends on their birthdays in a span of 4 days. One is my friend since 16  years. The other is the closest friend I have got now. Damn! Between them, there is such a contrast in the way they talk to me today. More about that later.

Ah! Now comes the most exciting part of my past week:

1) Getting a dream wherein I was some CIA dude who got around kicking a lot of mafia ass!

Yeah seriously! I am not joking! That was all my past week was about! There is absolutely nothing that was worthwhile that happened to me in the past one week. And the way things are going, I dont see any signs of improvement at all.

Whatever!  I am feeling real sleepy now. I see some opportunities in my dream wherein my life can get real exciting. So see ya all in my dreams!

A Sunday at Wonderla…Part II

Ok I presume that you have read my part I on my experience at Wonderla, the amusement and water park in Bangalore. If you have not yet read it, then just scroll down for the next post and you will find it there. Well anyway, I had told you about my experience till the time I was on my way to the Rain Disco. And that was where I had stopped. So here is what I found that really turned me off and proved to be a strong impetus to write about it.

Ok so I am on my way to the Rain Disco from the wave pool in my Tee and Bermuda (with the relevant things inside as well). I was with my cousin bro who, I can comfortably say, thinks very much on my own lines. I find that this Rain Disco essentially is a huge indoor hall with hundreds of sprinklers on top to give you the artificial rain experience and also fitted with huge speakers to blare some (hopefully listen-able) music. So far so good. Then I see something else. In fact the most relevant thing to notice was right in front of me. There is this huge notorious barrier running along the entire length of the hall dividing the hall into two unforgivable sections. Unforgivable-yes! Why? Because there was this huge glaring notice which seemed to take all the sadistic pleasure in the world announcing that the division to the right is where the men will be dancing and the division to the left is where the women and couples will be dancing!!!!!!

WTF?

I mean seriously WTF? At that time, I look at the “MEN’S” side and all I see are a bunch of I-am-cool-because-I-will-be-dancing-in-my-underwear-and -girls-can-watch-me kinda guys! And I look at the “Couples and Women” side and all I see is this big group of hot chics from God-knows-where in their swimsuit and ready to shake their way to glory!! And I (and my cousin) am just outside the two barriers looking at this glaring contrast that so flagrantly exhibited the disparity in the fortunes between women and men! I mean.. just look at it! Its like once in a Year or something you come to this place with the sole aim of having fun. And here you are, in a place, where everyone (read ‘all girls’) see fit to be in their swimsuit, not exactly oblivious to the nature of it. And there is this place where all you are expected to do is to just dance your way to glory. And then there is this asinine rule that all boys should dance with all the other boys!!! What am I? A freakin’ gay or what??!? Seriously did they expect me to go dance there with pounds and pounds of masculine flesh hovering all around me like that big pack of lecherous dogs in my hostel that humped the hostel bitch to death? While all the time, there are these really glam chics right next to the barrier and all I can possibly do is just fantasize that I would be dancing amongst them if that dumb rule wasn’t there! Its not like I am going to dance with some chic there and take her out to dinner the same night and end up banging her, thus unabashedly contributing to the moral decadence of our country! Needless to say, I couldn’t stand the possibility of dancing amidst such a Neandrathal crowd. So my cousin and I coolly walked out and went to the water slides.

Ah! Thank God for all the water slides that were at our disposal. It was a welcome change and I devoured it to the last possible drop-quite literally! There was this huge vertical fall where the slope was like some 80 degrees or something and all you ended up doing was to just fall at that slope! Some thrill that was! Plus my cousin and I ended up having the customary water sliding race which I inevitably ended up winning-what with me weighing 15 kgs more than him! And then later the rest of the family joined us as their stint with the Rain Disco had just got over.

An apt Trivia question would be: What is common to the songs:”Crazy Frog”, “Jhalak Dik”, “Brasil” and that Kannada song from that movie Mungaru Male? Ans: These are the songs that they play at the Rain Disco at Wonderla that are meant to excite you and get you all groovy! Ah! Get a Life!

Well we still did have a lot of fun there. That included my cousin scaring the shit out of his sister and my aunt as they came screaming down the waterline at full speed only to see him block the exit with his not-so-well built half naked body performing some really questionable acrobatics! Come to think of it, all water slides and falls were almost always accompanied with deafening screams (mostly from the female sector) that were meant to be a very efficient way of releasing tension. After sometime, my cousin,his sister and I, went into this shallow pool wherein we tried to compete with each other in propelling an airtube that was fitted into us. After due cheating on my cousin’s part, which included turning us upside down, and walking half the distance, he won the race. And in the end, I urged my aunt to get into one last water slide which I knew was the one giving the most thrill and she duly obliged. Only to scream her lungs out truly believing that the world was really going to end! I mean, the guy at the top of that waterslide, heard the screams echoing through the pipe and very appropriately remarked that my aunt would never come back to wonderla again! And with that, all of us wound up our rides for the day.

It was already dark around 6:45 pm. So we hurried up and dressed ourselves and it was only then that all of us realized that we were dog hungry! Seriously we could have eaten a dog! So we ordered a lot of grilled sandwiches and ate it piping hot! We were the last customers of the restaurant there and so we were the only people eating there. It somehow felt good. Having had a lot of fun and in the end, eating hot sandwiches with “Walk like an Egyptian” playing in the background(which incidentally was the only sensible song that was played throughout the day), I have to say, I enjoyed all the time that I had then.

Though at each and every moment that I spent there, I was pained to realize that I could never go there with someone, I still have to say that I had an amazing time and I strongly recommend all of you to pay a visit there once to see it for yourself.

A Sunday at Wonderla…Part I

Ok..the following is a brief account of my visit to Wonderla, the amusement and theme park in Bangalore. It will be fair to say that it is by far the best amusement and theme park in Bangalore. Going there has been the easiest things for me as I live just off Mysore road and Wonderla is about 20 kms straight ahead on the road. Lots of buses going towards places near Kengeri go there. I had been there once and had no hesitation to go there again when my aunt said that she would organize the trip there to celebrate my cousin’s 6th birthday. There were totally 8 of us…only family. And I was really looking forward to having a lot of fun.

We reached the place at around 12:30 in the afternoon, owing mainly to the fact that my another cousin had to attend a Parent-Teacher meet at BASE where he is studying for IIT-JEE. He was duly told that he needed to work at least 10 hours a day, forget about all functions, forget about all other activities, co-curricular or extra-curricular, and to forget about everything that has anything to do with happiness, if he wanted to have any hopes of clearing the exam. So after listening to such a cogent monologue, I guess he was desperate to have one last plunge into happiness before he drowns himself in the sea of misery.

Ok now here is the thing. You are going to a very good theme park and you know you are going to have a good time and you know that a lot of family members have come. And amidst all this, my aunt made sure that she didn’t get a camera! And why? Because all of us would be busy having so much fun that the camera could get lost! I mean if you do not use the cam when you are having fun, then when else do you use it????? I made her regret that at each and every step of the trip there. (For those of you who are curious to know how Wonderla actually looks, visit my Flickr page )

Ok now we are inside Wonderla and just got our tickets. They are priced at about 540 for adults and 240 for kids, height being the criteria. Not bad I should say. Now as soon as I enter the place, there is this Joker dude who also happens to be a midget and he comes and stands next to me and stares at me, giving me the I-am-a-midget-trying-to-be-cool look! Me being me, I just stared at that guy contemplating whether he was happy being a midget, when suddenly he exclaims loudly, making this weird noise! I think he expected me to get scared or show some reaction or something. Unfortunately for him, the only thing that I realized was that this dude really wished he had put on some more height! But not undone by my lack of reaction, Mr. Joker alias The Midget Dude went around the entrance emulating himself and boy! He was freakin out people like hell! He, quite understandably, targeted the cute chicks who had come there and I believe his self esteem grew everytime his “short” prank worked! (Pun Intended!)

Ok then we booked our locker and all that stuff and then we went for the rides. I guess thats why people go there. The initial rides were good-Twister, Maverick and one more similar ride. Man! Whoever designed that Maverick is a genius! I mean you end up rotating and oscillating and translating and all that in weird angles you wouldnt have imagined! It was damn good! And then we went to Mary Columbus. Now I don’t have particularly great memories of this ride. But I was forced to climb onto the ship and it was Ok. Not too bad as I had imagined. But then, I had begun to feel a little uneasy. And the next ride that I went was simply put, the epitome of all that is insane on this planet! And it was aptly named INSANITY! Dude, if any of you are just bored with life and want to shake up your life, literally and figuratively, just go on this ride! God only knows how I even made it through the ride. The G-Forces were like so damn strong, I could just not move my arm! Extraordinary experience and some subsequent consequences saw me throw up in the toilet there. Not that I was not used to throwing up. Everytime I drink excessively, I end up puking. So I was then alright again.

Then we all got changed into our water sport costumes and went to the pool splash. My cousin and I were having cornetto when we climbed on the car that was going to splash into the pool. The downward acceleration was exhilarating and when we hit the water and this huge splash came down on us, it felt like 540 bucks well spent! For whatever reasons, I actually ate the ice cream even after the splash.Next on the agenda was the laser show and musical fountain which was to be held inside a theater. After a small delay, the musical fountain started. Though I would have preferred songs like VICARIOUS or LATERALUS by TOOL or any Floyd song for that matter, I sat there watching the musical fountain as they blared some arbit Bollywood song and forced the fountains to make up for the banality of the song with some exquisite co-ordination and design among the hundreds of sprinklers and lights there! The fountains succeeded in doing that for two more songs! And then came the laser show…. Now here is the thing. There are some things that you know are beyond your expectations and you don’t even get those thoughts in your head. And for me, one of those things include India doing excellently in anything related to technology. But when the laser show started, I was more than happy to eat my words. Dude! This was like some dream or something! I mean, when the hell did India progress so much? It was like you were inside the whole thing! I was actually reminded of Pink Floyd’s P.U.L.S.E concert! I am not exaggerating here! Just go there and have a look yourself. It was enough to be more than 540 bucks worth! -

And amidst all the excitement and shouting, I found so many morons who were actually taking still photographs of the laser show using their Flash! Ah! Get a life! Next we went to the wave pool.

Ok here is the thing. There is this huge pool where huge waves are being created. And there are like well over a hundred people trying to have fun with the waves. Ok nothing seems to be out of the way as of now. But upon closer look, I realize there is something fundamentally wrong with every damn person there. I mean, here they are, in a pool with waves and all they are ever trying to do is just avoid the waves at all costs by jumping at the exact time the wave is about to hit them! So that way, they “Enjoy” the waves!????! What?????? It is like that dumb dude in one of the Dashing Cars who really believed that he had a lot of fun by avoiding any possible contact with all the cars around him! Yeah I mean, think about it! The waves are coming at you. Let it hit you and carry you where it wants. Go down into the water and come up just in time to see one more wave hit you again! Yeah thats fun! I mean if all you wanted to do was jump and let the wave pass under you, then why do you even need to come to a wave pool? You might as well jump in your bathtubs! -

Whatever! After I enjoyed there, I went to this Rain Disco. And that was where I was flabbergasted by what I found!

To be continued….

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