Updating my Existence

It has been a very eventful few weeks I have to say. Maybe not so much on my blog as off it. And now I am finally all settled and ready to venture into some unknown territory (read continent). So in order not to disappoint my (continuously and inevitably) diminishing reader count, I have embarked upon this new post just to shed some light on all the various exciting stuff (and I am not talking about Michael Jackson) that I might at some point of time use as an excuse for my diminishing posting frequency. So in no particular order, here goes:

1. After months together of internal and external debate and tearing myself apart and some subsequent coin tossing, I finally decided to shift continents-from Europe to North America. More specifically, from Imperial College London to Virginia Tech. There were a lot of pros and cons for each of them. VT was simply better in all aspects including finance, research exposure etc. But Imperial College had Stamford Bridge next door! (God Damn it!) But then, after talking for hours over the phone with Royan, who repeatedly drilled into me (and I have to say, in a biased manner) that USA is a better place etc etc, and then with some first hand info from a VT student, I finally made the call and I am now fully happy that I made the right one. But I guess, in the end, it all really boiled down to Royan’s tireless efforts to make me apply to VT in the first place. And for that (and of course the alcohol inspiration), I think he has more than made up for all the stabs in the hostel!
2. Of course, the decision making was only the beginning of what was to be an extra-ordinarily painful ordeal of applying for a bank loan and getting all the visa documents readied. And after months together of effort, I finally got my visa a few days back and now I know for sure where I am going. And a word of suggestion about bank loans-and this stems solely from my own experience: I strongly recommend CANARA BANK for all your education loans. I have been extremely impressed by the speed and manner in which all my formalities were handled and am also indebted to all the people involved who made it possible for me to get my Loan approved before my Visa interview.
3. Also worth mentioning, just a few weeks back, I almost got rammed into from behind by a speeding Indica late in the night. All thanks to a speed breaker built at a particularly inappropriate zone (and the subsequent marking of that zone as “dangerous”), I could have as well not lived to write this. Watching an Indica do a complete 180 topple some 3 feet behind you when you are in a lame 2 wheeler is not exactly exciting. More so when you realize that the driver did what he did just to avoid ramming into me! But miraculously, the driver escaped without as much as a scratch! And I ‘escaped’ from the accident scene soon after- for reasons Logik didn’t bother to reveal as well. Oh and BTW, it took me some 5 days to get out of my house with the same lame  wheeler again.
4. And so having found insane amounts of time at my disposal in recent months (apart from the harrowing visa process), I hit upon this idea of doing something more constructive and substantial. I realized that I could not really get into any job as such. So I turned my attention to my writing. Having been really impressed and inspired by some of the books and blogs that I have been reading lately, I started a new blog dedicated solely to the adventures and escapades of certain characters that I developed. The blog is here. It mainly consists (or will consist) of a series of short stories about the life of a 22 year old guy who finds himself in the middle of a lot of unusual situations. The stories are almost completely original, with only a very few instances based upon something that I have seen or experienced. Realizing the inevitability of basing a character on oneself, I have made a conscious effort not to base the main character Samir on myself. I have started this new blog with quite a bit of seriousness and hope to atleast write one post every week from now on. As of now, I have only written one post and it is about Samir losing his virginity. I wish I could say this one was based on my own experiences, but alas no. So please do follow the blog (you will find the link at the adjacent column always) and I hope to keep my end of the deal of updating it regularly as well.
5. In celebration of my Visa arrival, there was a sizeable party at my house with an even more sizeable presence of alcohol. So much so, I still have leftovers. The party may be remembered for such things like me preparing the World’s worst cocktail (and my subsequent failure at that) consisting of Shark Tooth Vodka, Grappo Fizz, Godrej Xs KIWI juice, Coke and some Blue Riband Gin as well. Also of note, is how my cousin will always forever rue that night to be the one time his younger sister beat him to a certain feat, a fact that will hitherto remain secret from their mother.
6. After what seemed like a virtual impossibility, I finally went to Wonderla with a couple of friends, one of whom is better known here in this blog for her involvement in a certain handbag hunting expedition. The trip, though initially threatening to make me feel worse, eventually exceeded my expectations and has definitely become something that I will remember for a long time.
7. I am presently in the midst of a shopping and meeting people spree, largely due to the 17 days that I have left in this country. I will maybe have a  few more drinking sessions before I leave and am presently in the process of learning the nuances of cooking at home. Any of you people ready to play guinea pig please feel free to drop by.

So there it is. Some of the things that define ‘exciting’ for me. I will be leaving to Virginia on August 2 with a Junior of mine from college and hope to be able to blog after going there as well. But till then, I hope to write as much as possible. In fact, I hope to write at least one post a day till I leave. Ok…Now I know what you are thinking and I fully agree- HOPE IS A GOOD THING….

How NOT to pay a tribute to Michael Jackson

This post is my tribute to Michael Jackson and in this, I shall describe in full detail exactly how NOT to pay a tribute. This post is essentially a response to an editorial piece that appeared in The New Indian Express the day after MJ’s death which can be found here. The piece was written by the Editor-in-chief Mr. Aditya Sinha himself and is titled “POP GOES THE KING.” I would suggest the reader to first read the editorial piece and then read my response to that.

First, let us set the context right. This editorial appears the day after the entire world is shocked to learn about MJ’s death. I for one, having been a long time admirer of his works, was particularly disappointed. The entire world flooded the internet with messages paying tribute to the king of pop. Practically every news channel was running the same story. Now this being the case, I open the editorial the next day and I found an article titled “Pop goes the King” which essentially described why One person (Mr. Sinha) considered Michael Jackson as someone “who lacked dignity at his core.”

The article can very easily be classified as the point of view of one single individual as most of the comments that he has made inevitably involve “I never really liked…”, “My objection to…”, “I could not understand…”, “I was ready to believe….”, “I almost feel sorry for….” etc.  In fact the article itself begins with “I never really liked Michael Jackson…”. The article thus begins with such a self-centered approach and the same tone is carried on throughout without giving the slightest explanation as to why the writer’s personal preference and opinion should necessarily constitute the real image of the person in question. There is absolutely no basis provided for any of the conclusions that are drawn apart from the writer’s own preferences and very clearly biased points of view. Let me elaborate with some quotes.

In the very beginning, Mr. Sinha states “My objection to Michael Jackson’s songs was that they were too stupid for me and appealed to the lowest common denominator.” Apart from the very obvious reference to HIS OWN tastes, it should be noted that he terms that MJ’s songs were “too stupid”  for him. Not caring to elaborate on what exactly constituted the “stupid” part in all of the celebrated Michael Jackson catalog, he goes on to state that the songs appealed to the “Lowest common Denominator.” And in the next sentence he goes on to state who or what he considered as the Lowest Common Denominator. He says “After all, which college intellectual wants to share his musical tastes with grandmothers and 13-year-old girls?” Now apart from the very obvious point that so many high profile people in various capacities around the world are big fans of MJ, I am curious about one thing. If it can be considered that, say, Pink Floyd songs are not stupid (if you disagree, kindly leave this blog), and assuming that Mr. Sinha likes Pink Floyd (or if it is Kishore Kumar, feel free to substitute), then on what basis can he say that there is no 13 year old girl or grandmothers who listen to them? Because, as he himself has put it, he wouldn’t want to share his musical taste with them. I sense a generous dose of hypocrisy in here. He goes on to rationalize his way of thinking by quoting what Socrates might have said “If something was popular then it probably wasn’t good.” At this point, I would like to state that one has to understand that there is a difference between something being “popular” and something being “contemporary”. Michael Jackson was (and will always remain) popular, but he was in no way contemporary.

Other aspects dealt with in the article include his plastic surgery from black to white. And in response to this, Mr. Sinha starts “Perhaps he felt shame in being black…” Again, without making any effort in providing any information/incident that might form the basis for this personal opinion, a statement suggesting Jackson suffering from shame about his color is made. His new appearance is then broken apart and criticised for each part in the following lines and is compared to The Joker from Batman comics. But the real striking remark is made in the next line when he says : “It is arguable whether he looked HUMAN.” Criticising a person’s look is one thing. Calling for a debate whether he looked human or not is something totally different. I am not even going to respond to this horrifying and baseless personal opinion. But alas, the criticisms don’t stop there. Further personal opinion is doled out with his change in looks being termed “..a pathological attempt at self-improvement” and he then contrasts Jackson’s “self disgust” (again, this is the writer’s own inference) to America electing an African American for President. He then suddenly, out of nowhere and having offered no reason, states that “Michael Jackson really had lost touch with reality.”

And while dealing with MJ’s child molestation case, Mr. Sinha says, “.. by the time that news of Michael Jackson’s troubles with little boys came, I was ready to believe the worst about him.” Somehow I am not surprised at all. But what really put me off, was the suggestion that MJ got acquitted just because “nothing could be proved against him” and the comparison of MJ’s trial to that of the infamous OJ Simpson case when it is written “..or perhaps, like O J Simpson (who killed his wife and her lover but was acquitted), he had a sympathetic jury.” This particular paragraph, I have to say, contains as much suggestion and speculation as it lacks solid facts. He further makes an inference, again based solely on what it all meant personally to him, as to how MJ could have possibly committed the crimes by stating : “the fact that he tried to change his skin colour meant to me that he lacked dignity at his core, and if he lacked that, then anything was possible.”

The main reason why I sat down to take the pains to write this long post was not just because I have always been a die-hard MJ fan. But it is mainly because of the way in which a complete editorial was dedicated to air the opinion of one man about how his preferences and opinions went against popular belief. I do understand that Mr. Sinha is a highly qualified individual who holds an extremely high post in the Indian print media. I also recognize his right to personal opinion, and being in that high position, I also recognize his authority to write an editorial to his liking. My objections to this editorial are not as much about the content of the article, as it is about it’s timing. There is always a place and time to air certain views about certain people. And writing an article such as this when the whole world is mourning the death of a star who defined a generation is definitely incongruous and wrongly timed. If anything, it is only demeaning to all the millions of fans around the world.

I now wonder. The author of the article has made comments terming Michael Jackson as a person who “lacked dignity” offering no basis whatsoever apart from his own personal opinion. And this statement is made the very next day  after Michael Jackson passed away, in the editorial of a leading national daily in India. Something doesn’t seem right. Something seems out of place. Come to think of it, I now wonder as to who it is exactly that “lacks dignity”.

India in Slow Motion by Mark Tully: A Book Review

India in Slow Motion

It is not so often that one comes across a book that reinforces the potential of presenting facts and situations to capture the interest of a reader in a way that the book becomes both educative and a page turner. INDIA IN SLOW MOTION by Mark Tully does just that. With his immaculately diverse  set of ten typically Indian  real life stories, he has successfully brought about the fundamental flaws in the system that is governing this country. I first interacted with Mark Tully at IIT Bombay during their fest and was impressed by his knowledge and observations. And after reading India in Slow Motion, my respect and admiration for him has grown ten fold.

Most of the book is not as much about exposing the familiar problems plaguing India, as it is about revealing the intricacies, significance and true extent of the same. Topics such as the Ayodhya issue, corruption, droughts, farmer suicides, Kashmir, the IT revolution are not unfamiliar. But the treatment that Tully has meted out to these topics inevitably makes us rethink our own estimation of the nature and significance of the problem. Be it the thrilling, detailed first hand account of the entire Tehelka sting operation which got the Defence Minister to resign, the true tale of Kashmir and why it is in its present state or a little known village in Gujarat that has declared independence from the rest of the country, Tully describes an India which exhibits  a common foundation running through all of them-the NETA-BABU Raj-which he finds to be the single most important factor why India is still a country in Slow Motion.

The book starts off by describing a small but largely representative incident in a remote village  in Madhya Pradesh, where a Cyber Cafe built by an NGO is being brought down on the orders issued by a bureaucrat of the region for not possessing a particular “Internet Service Provider License -II”. This incident is small because it never made to the papers and representative because it shows how the Indian bureaucracy is working to defeat it’s own purpose.  Other stories in the book  deal with many cultural and religious aspects including a first hand account of the Babri Masjid demolition and the subsequent efforts to build a Ram Temple in the same site along with detailed descriptions about the rise and present state of Christianity in Goa and also an informative chapter on Sufism and the stance taken by different Muslim leaders in India.

But the crux of the book lies in the revelation of a large number of small facts that goes a long way in choosing the correct frame of reference to look and judge this country’s state of affairs. A large many assumptions developed over years of exposure to the Indian media is convincingly set right by simply reflecting on these hard facts plaguing the country and of which, the majority of us are blissfully unaware. Sample this: In a chapter dealing solely with the farmer suicides in Karnataka, Tully describes the procedure for a farmer to obtain a low interest loan from a Nationalized Bank as per a Govt scheme. In the words of the Bank Manager:

“Before any farmer can ask for a loan, he has to produce, one-land records, two- records of rights, three-no dues from the government, four-records of all land revenue paid, five-land valuation certificates, six-no dues from agricultural societies, seven-permission from court if applicant is a minor and eighth(and here is the best part!)- NO DUES CERTIFICATES FROM ALL THE OTHER 9 BANKS IN THE AREA!!!!!!”

And to procure the no dues certificate from all the other banks, a farmer has to approach each and every bank individually and get a certificate from each of them!

Another equally glaring fact concerns the structure and the working of the Police force in India. Tully quotes directly from a report submitted by a Senior retired Police Officer who says:

“..the 1861 Act passed by the British Raj still governs the organization, structure, philosophyand working of our police forces at the end of the twentieth century, never mind the phenomenal changes in our social, political, scientific, economic, and cultural spheres over the decades. The pattern adopted by the 1861 Act was based on the Irish Constabulary because Ireland was a colony at that time.”

Another Senior Police Officer says:

“..for the bureaucracy, control over the police has become an intoxicant they are addicted to and are just not willing to give up. And so the act of 1861 continues to be on the statute book even after nearly one hunderd and forty years-a millstone round the police neck”

Here is another concerning the corruption in the Indian Military:

“An Arms dealer has to bribe a Major General around Rs. 10 lakhs just so the dealer can obtain the list of equipment that the Indian Army is looking to test and purchase!”

Simple but revealing facts like these are in abundance in the book largely due to Tully’s first hand investigation into every topic he has written about. One of the best chapters in the book, I found, was the one on corruption which included a detailed first hand account of the entire TEHELKA sting operation by the very man who performed the sting with the hidden camera! The thrilling encounters with the top politicians and military leaders coupled with the glaring and inexcusable stupidity on part of the Generals for believing everything makes the chapter both humorous and thought provoking. The chapter on the Farmer suicides in Karnataka during the drought on the turn of the millenium is also very well documented with facts revealing such a lack of basic common sense among the officials, that one feels there is no hope for the Indian farmer. Like a farmer says,”A farmer in India is born in debt, lives in debt, dies in debt and is reborn in debt!” Another truly memorable quote that perfectly epitomizes  the life of a farmer comes from a farmer who is asked why he is not investing in long term gains and stability by sending his children to school. He says: “Sir, we farmers are not concerned about what happens 10-15 years from now. All we care about is being able to live through today…everyday”

The stories in India in Slow Motion do little to portray India the way political campaigns (like India Shining) do. But at the same time, the stories do not aim to bring out the harsh realities prevailing in the country such as poverty. What it does aim, however, is to give first hand information on issues that every Indian is familiar with. Though a few stories form an exception  to the familiarity aspect, the underlying objective of giving the readers first hand information on the ground reality successfully weaves through these stories as well. Throughout the book, Tully never makes the slightest effort to force his opinion on the reader. In fact, his completely objective portrayal of ground reality obviates the need for the reader to frame an opinion about India’s prospects. And so, instead, his astute observations compel the reader to develop both the positive and negative outlooks about India.

Tully’s inferences always tend to tell a tale of a car trying to move forward with its brakes on. In spite of describing stories that show the blatant inefficiency  and flaws in the governance system, Tully still displays an optimism that stems from recent and not so recent history when India did make the effort to liberate the economy, thereby easing a little off the brakes on its path to development. But the question of how long or what it takes for these changes to come about, though raised, is left deliberately unanswered. This book is a must read before anyone decides to have a say about any aspect of the present state of affairs in India.

My Encounters with Astrology

First up, let me make my stand very clear here. As much as I want to believe that I have no faith in Astrology and that none of my decisions are influenced by it, I concede otherwise, but only to the extent of acknowledging the existence of the science. I wouldn’t particularly be making every decision of my life based on astrology. Now having said that, I am going to tell you about  a few recent instances wherein I have had a brush with astrology without ever actually intending to do so myself.

Recently, in the month of January, my parents had been to visit this astrologer near my home and were very impressed with his knowledge and analysis. He was apparently able to describe very accurately a lot of things of mine and my parents’ past, which particularly impressed my mom. Hence, she inevitably asked him about my future prospects, (onsidering the fact that during January, I was going through one of the worst phases of my life.), especially regards my education. To this, the astrologer assured my mom that I was going through a bad phase of my life and that I would face better times from the month of February. Sure enough, I quit my job in February due to poor health, which I was not complaining about as I was not particularly excited about the job, and in fact consider it as a good thing that happened to me. Then more importantly, I got an admit to do Masters in Imperial College London, one of the most prestigious universities in the world, about which I was extremely happy about. So yes, what the astrologer said did indeed come true. And looking at this, my mom strongly recommended the astrologer to her sister who has a son and a daughter appearing for their 12th and 10th board exams respectively. The astrologer again accurately described the characters of both the children and that again impressed my aunt too. And so there was this inevitable question asked to the astrologer by my aunt about the education of her two children and this is where I guess the situation hit the roof! To the specific question about how my cousin will fare in the highly competitive IIT-JEE exam, the astrologer, after some consultations with the horoscopes, confidently declared, “Your son has to work HARD to crack the IIT-JEE!!!!!!”

WTF???I mean WTF???OF COURSE he has to work hard to crack the IIT-JEE!! As soon as I heard this, I was rolling on the floor laughing away big time! And when I told this to my cousin, even he couldn’t control himself. And to learn that our mothers paid a whopping 3000 bucks to hear the astrologer tell them exactly what they already knew was nowhere near sensible. I never forgave my mom for that and dont miss a single opportunity to mock her about the issue. But that aside, I did some deep ruminations myself about this whole thing and with my cousin. I was trying to explain to him that astrology is still true as it is able to describe very clearly the things of the past and to some extent the future as well. I told him about my own case and about a few others as well. What he replied to that made a lot of sense. He said,”Astrology may indeed be true and may actually be able to exactly describe the events of the past or tell us when the times are going to improve or deteriorate for anyone. But then, whats the point? Astrology doesn’t need to tell us about our own pasts and irrespective of whether an astrologer says so, good times or bad times are going to happen anyway. So whats exactly the point of astrology?” I strongly believe what he said made a lot of sense. But perhaps one line of argument in favor of astrology would be that if one accepts that there is truth to it, then one can possibly take the help of astrology in making some key decisions in life- which of course is not mandatory. But again, I also strongly believe that it is upto the discretion of each and every person whether they choose to follow an astrologer’s advice or go by their own instincts.

Now that was one part of the story. Here is the other part which got me more directly involved. One of my very close friends since a long time is going through a very bad patch of her life. Same old story: she likes a guy since 5 years and he likes her as well, they have been into a serious relationship and plan to get married. But he is from a different caste so her parents are strenuously opposed to this marriage. And so in order to prove their compatibility, my friend went to an astrologer (a different one) to determine whether their horoscopes matched properly. That astrologer assured her in strong and confident ways that though it was not a perfect match, there never is one and that their horoscopes were as close to perfect as usually seen. Buoyed by this information, my friend decided to confront her dad (who incidentally gives a lot of weight to horoscope compatibility) and told him that if she was able to establish the compatibility of the horoscopes, would he then reconsider his stand on the marriage. He replied in the positive and due to which, she confidently took him and her mom to the same astrologer she had met before. Now here is the twist. When she asked the same astrologer about the compatibility in front of her parents, this astrologer dude did a complete U-Turn! He began to describe the compatibility of the two horoscopes as next to disastrous to all involved and that especially the guy’s horoscope is so defective that nothing can be made to set it right! Needless to say, my friend was speechless, and with good reason. She could not really get herself to even ask him why he was saying just the oppositte. Hell, all she could ask was even if she didn’t marry that guy, would he still be under threat and to which the astrologer, again confidently replied in the affirmative!! And here is the best part: That astrologer himself declared that he is not lying and that if he is lying 3 generations of his family are going to be cursed. The irony is that this astrologer dude isn’t married in the first place!!!

And so that evening I met her and she cried in helplessness while I was running out of options to make her see that its not the end of the world. As much as I couldn’t see why this astrologer dude had to do such a thing, I really didn’t consider that what he said was final and binding. So I suggested that I would take their horoscopes to my astrologer (the one I mentioned previously) and get his opinion as it would be a neutral one. And so when I went to see this astrologer, (I was personally meeting him for the first time) I found him to be a genuinely knowledgeable man who had a very long history of astrology in his family. And so he clearly explained to me what needs to be checked and what it should read in order for proper compatibility. He found that the horoscopes were compatible in all the basic parameters and that even though the guy’s horoscope was inherently defective, he said it could be rectified with certain rituals. He asked to see them both the next day and so they went there by themselves to consult him. That evening, I found my friend to be very excited and genuinely happy and smiling all the time because the astrologer had assured them that in spite of all the opposition in the family, things would eventually get settled and that their horoscopes were compatible enough to lead a happy marriage- as long as the guy did a certain ritual to correct some defects. I found that reasonable and was happy for my friend that her relationship was back on track. Now again, here is another twist. The guy is not exactly a believer in astrology and didn’t make the effort to get in touch with the astrologer about the pooja he had to do in spite of the fact that the astrologer had given him 2 specific dates. Both dates passed and my friend began to feel very bad. So much so, she began to have second thoughts on her relationship with the guy. Her line of thinking was that if he does not show his committment in something as important as this, how will he be after marriage? She even went to the extent of telling me it was all over between them and that she was ok about it. As much as I knew that was only a temporary phase and not the end of it all, I was also concerned about when the guy would eventually start the pooja. Last I heard, he was still yet to finalize the dates.

Now here is my problem. If for whatever reason, the relationship breaks- be it for genuine or not so genuine reasons-I dont think I can sleep peacefully. The knowledge that I was directly involved at the beginning of it all is not exactly a comforting one. I really don’t see myself rationalizing my way out of this if something were to go wrong. And it would feel like hell if it actually did. So I am praying that this get settled soon and in the positive way. But again, fundamentally speaking, I come back to what I said earlier. It is not about whether astrology is really indeed true or not. It is about whether you believe in it or not. Thats it.

I just hope I get to sleep peacefully.

My Comeback Post!

Before I say anything at all, this post is not for the faint hearted or for those looking for decency or decorum of any form. I am just pissed at my life and this post is just going to vent my ire on the present state of affairs.

Ok so here is my situation. I am out of my job. No it was not the fucked up recession- I just quit on health grounds. So right now have nothing to do but surf the net all day, laze around or at best, watch some movies and TV Series. Now in case all you working assholes think that being at home doing what I am doing is better than your fucked up workplace, well fucking think again. This aint half as good as it looks like. All I got now, is a fucked up computer with an unpredictable net connection, loads of books which I am trying to read simultaneously (8 at last count) and a fuckin inability to go out often thanks largely to my perpetually fucked up health. So what the fuck am I doing right now? Well, for one, I finally got my ass down to right a post after like ages together of inactivity. Then I sleep. I sleep till I fuckin wake up by myself. You understand what that means you suckers? No damn work or committment makes me keep some god damn alarm at 7 in the morning spoiling all the excitement that I get from the only one source of entertainment- my fuckin dreams. Yeah thats how fucked up my life is right now.

So what else am I doing? Well for one, I am definitely waiting a lot-waiting to get out of this shithole called this country to study what I want and guess what? I am on my fuckin way! UK looks like the likely destination but frankly speaking, I still have not yet decided. So if any of you morons suddenly feel the urge to enquire about which continent I am headed to, then expect me to use the choicest of the slangs which will necessarily include the word Fuck followed by or embedded in I DONT KNOW. I got two admits in UK so far.  And yeah I am quite happy about that. But I aint decided anything yet. So if any of you still asks me where the fuck I am going, dont be surprised if I use more than just FUCK OFF in my reply.

My last few weeks have been largely spent in the cyberspace and on the wasted Idiot Box. I did have a drink with my dad though last weekend. Mom had gone out of station-to a pretty boiling Bijapur-on some office related work-thanks largely because of her “Promotion” to an Audit Officer. The drink lasted exactly one hour and included discussing arbit shit and listening to my dad talking the same stuff for over like some 15 years now. But I was liking the whisky-Blender’s Pride- and just concentrated on that and the extra-ordinary car chase sequence in the movie RONIN that was being played on Star Movies. Perhaps, one major achievement that I was able to do in the meantime was to watch DEVD. If you have not watched it, then go watch it. Then watch it again. And then watch it some 10 times more. And after all that, if you still find the movie  mediocre or bad or just OK, then go fuckin die somewhere. You seriously do not deserve to exist on this planet. There is one fact and one fact only. Anurag Kashyap and Amit Trivedi are the new GODS of film making and Music Direction respectively. And if any of you wasted nimrods even as much as think about saying anything less credible, consider yourself the biggest fuckin douchebag on the planet.  I loved the music so much, I actually for once in 6 years, went and purchased an original CD of  DEV D. It cost me just 145 bucks and I would have gladly paid 500 bucks for it. I listen to the entire fuckin CD some 3-4 times a day and will continue to do so till God Knows when. Anyway me going to watch DEV D again this weekend with Sadanand, famous in this blog largely for spending 4 fuckin years in the same room with me. Also of late he has a different claim to fame. He has made a complete mockery of the dreaded CAT exam by going there with exactly ZERO preparation except probably getting his ass down to the exam centre (which is a big thing for him trust me) and giving a quite significant middle finger to the exam and then getting ALL the FUCKING SIX CALLS from the IIMS. Now all you wasted wannabees who enrol yourselves in all these wasted CAT Coaching classes spending thousands like morons and slogging your ass of for the major part of 2-3 years and then not even figuring in any of the IIM call lists, all I have to say is this:

for(n=1;n++)

{MOCKING LAUGHTER}

Of course it will be the greatest disaster known to mankind if this dude fails to convert any of his calls, but I have a feeling that is not likely to happen.

Just a small thing aside my rantings. I recently met my friend who had somehow, for whatever strange reason, decided to wear her Salwar instead of her habitual Pants and shirts. The first thing that struck me was that this Salwas stuff was actually quite a feminine looking thing. Then I didn’t understand why the fuck all these girls wear all these manly masculine things like pants and shirts and all that. This female was, for a change, looking very very very very feminine in her new never-before and never-again tried attire. And I told her that like some thousand times and somehow she just couldnt accept the fact that she was looking awesome in that new type of dress. She later told me that that was the only Salwar she owns and that all the rest of her wardrobe is necessarily filled with masculine stuff. I haven’t seen her since but something tells me she reverted back to her masculine looking Shirts and Pants and all that.  She is also the same female who took an auto rick from Bangalore Central to Garuda Mall and then back from Garuda Mall to Bangalore Central paying in excess of 70 bucks for a 200m drive! ROFL!!!!ROFL!!!!ROFL!!!!!! Taking a rick for 200m when you can actually see one building from the other!!! Oh man! Now THAT is something!!!She also asked me not to tell any of this on my blog here for fear that someone living some half the planet away might get upset. Hey dude (you know who you are): you upset man???

Apart from all that, I have to say my blogging has fuckin sufferred. There was never a time when I went for more than a month without writing. I wrote shit and I wrote some more shit. But I wrote some shit atleast. Now I have like 3 fuckin drafts in my wordpress account which I haven’t been able to complete in all the free fuckin time I have had the past few weeks. Among them are my trip to IIT Madras to see Opeth, my even more memorable NITK Convocation, and also the recent Maiden concert in bangalore. I cant believe I havent finished these posts still. I cant believe I havent done any fucking constructive work for the past few weeks. I have never felt so fuckin dead in a long fuckin time.

Every fuckin day I wake up at like-whenever I wake up- and I brush my teeth and eat whatever makeshift breakfast my dad has prepared. Then watch some wasted TV or try my best not to get frustrated when my fuckin Internet connection isn’t working. Then go have some lunch in my granny’s place or my aunt’s place and then come back and try to convince myself that I am still alive and that I am not dreaming. Oh wait, I dont think I do the last part. My dreams are way more exciting to convince myself otherwise. Perhaps the only damn constructive activity I have been doing over the past few weeks is to teach my cousin some math for her Tenth Board exams and to teach my other cousin some multiplication before she is taught that in a routine wasted way at her school. I have also been writing a shitload of essays for some scholarship that I have absolutely no damn hopes on and submitting it like 10 minutes after the deadline and then thinking it is too late only to realize that it was not and that I am still eligible for being considered for the scholarship. And oh yeah, I have been having this very interesting and totally unexpected role to play as the guy who can end up breaking up a 5 year old strong relationship, involving his extremely close freind, heading for marriage, with astrology. Ok now, seriously What the Fuck am I doing with my life? I feel so fuckin dead, I dont even know what the fuck I am doing anymore.

So what the fuck is needed to make me feel better? I have no fuckin clue. Probably a bottle of whisky with all my alcohol buddies and some Floyd in the background will help. But thats as far as my brain can work. I don’t know why the fuck I wrote all this and that too in this wasted FUCKED up manner using more slang in this one post than all of my 100 posts combined. I guess that can be easily attributed to this new TV Series I have been watchin- CALIFORNICATION-about a guy who, well, fucks women and then writes and then still believes his ex-wife will come back to him and then fucks some more women. Thats one of the very few good things that has happened to me of late. Not the women fucking part, but the TV series part.

I think I am done here. I said all I wanted to say. I have sworn all I wanted to swear. And I still dont have any fucking clue what I am going to do for the rest of the day or rest of the hour or even rest of the fuckin minute.

Aaah! This shit sucks!!

Why the Youth of today is NOT India’s Future…

I am writing this post in extreme anguish, disgust and helplessness at the way things are going on in this country. And I am specifically referring to the Mangalore Pub attack incident and the subsequent attacks on women and men in the name of culture and religion. I am not here to vent my ire on the Sri Rama Sene or any other similar group who decide that it is their responsibility to ’safeguard’ Indian culture among the youth of today. I am in fact going to vent my ire on the youth of India and their inherent inability to do anything about any of these atrocious moral policing. But before I say anything that can be construed wrongly, let me make a few things very clear. When I refer to the youth of this country, I am talking about the general age group of 16-30 years who are educated. I also include myself in the youth being referred to here. It should not be misunderstood that I am only blaming or accusing the youth of India and that I am perfect. I blame myself and everyone I know equally here.

The basis for writing this post is the complete indifference shown by the country’s youth to any and every act of injustice or moral policing that has ever taken place. Curbing our freedom in various forms has not had one single form of impact on us. Lets take the case of Bangalore and Karnataka. First, there was this deadline for all night clubs, pubs and bars to close shops at 11:30 PM. Then there was this ban on live music. Then there is this attack on pub goers. Then one more attack on a girl just because she was talking to a Muslim guy. Then there is another attack on women standing just outside a Bangalore Pub. Then there was this Mangala Sutra and Rakhi threats on Valentine’s Day. All this in the name of safeguarding our culture. As asinine and shameless as all these sound, what has to be noted is the complete absence of any form of protest or response from the people affected.

So what did the youth do, when the Pub attack happened? Lets see. Thinking…thinking…Oh wait! We didn’t do anything! We just accepted the ruling like the way your teachers and parents told us what was right and what was wrong when we were kids and just kept quiet. Or probably there were some things that were done. Lots of stuff happened on the internet-like what I am doing right now. Most of the youth “VOICED” their frustration on the internet.  Innumerable blogs suddenly sprung up all over the internet voicing their concerns. Mangalore Pub Attack became a popular search term on Google. Hell! SULEKHA.com itself dedicated a small but prominent space in their TAGS space to it so more can read and learn and write about the issue.  Public forums, both on social networking sites and other websites began to run series of threads on these attacks. Youtube was flooded with videos and responses pertaining to the Mangalore Pub attack. Each and every one of them cursing the Sri Rama Sene for all their goondaism. The television channels and newspapers were flooded with opinions from various prominent local personalities and fellow young generation dudes who again “CONDEMNED” the “DASTARDLY” attacks on women and men in the pub. There were live debates organized on the news channels pitting a representative from the youth against some self proclaimed guardian of our Indian culture. Then there were all these opinion polls wherein we were asked for our OPINION on the issue. Some guys and girls, led by some local personality organized a peaceful march in the city “PROTESTING” the attacks on pub goers and demanding our freedom.

But then you see, thats the whole point! This is all that we, the YOUTH OF INDIA, do. We just voice our opinions in our comfort zones, sitting in front of a computer and typing all the things we want to say. Among all the things that I have listed above, and all the things that the youth have done that I have not listed above, does any of you truly believe that even one of these “RESPONSES” is going to make any difference at all? Has it made any difference at all so far? We continue to be the Tech-savvy youth who pride ourselves on making judicious use of the internet. But we have to ask ourselves this: “Does it count in any way in actually addressing the problem at hand?” Do opinion polls or live debates on news channels serve any purpose whatsoever in finding a solution to these incessant problems? It my prove to be another medium of venting our frustration and anger at the perpertrators but seriously, do any of you really think that it is going to make any form of impact? We hold peace rallies to protest against all the injustice done. But again, does it matter in anyway? Are the authorities going to actually look into the matter and change things around us just because a few hundred people decided to get together and display placards or shout slogans? Do any number of prominent people giving their opinion do anything to change the exisiting insane laws in this country? Does interviewing the everyday youth on newschannels or in newspapers and asking for their response serve any purpose in making the law-makers understand our point of view? Do you think any amount of blogging or discussing on public forums is even going to be noticed by those people who have the power to set things right?

The hard fact is this: WE THE YOUTH OF INDIA HAVE NO GUTS OR COURAGE. There….I said it. And as much as we like to believe otherwise citing various examples, the truth cannot be denied. We, the Youth of India, have no balls when it comes to facing up to the people who curb our freedom. When the Govt, decides what is good for us and what isnt, we abide by it without a whimper. If the Govt decides to ban live bands, we just accept it and try to work within it. When the Govt decides at what time we should stop having fun, we let them shove it down our throat. When some rogue outfit  says  you can’t drink if you are a girl, we suddenly stop going to pubs out of fear. When they say we should not celebrate Valentine’s Day, well, I can’t comment on that right away but I am sure, there are a hell lot of us who only wish we could do it without the fear that we may be married by the end of the day.

The only thing we do is rant and whine in safe places such as the internet and opinion polls and harmless peace protests, none of which is going to have any form of impact on any of the law makers. And looking at the way things are going, the day wont be far away when the Govt and  rogue outfits, in the name of moral policing and safeguarding culture, decide that holding college fests is against the Hindu culture or that having friends of the opposite sex in your group is also against the spirit of our heritage. The day wont be far off when movie theaters will have seperate seating for men and women or for that matter, educational institutions making rules that prohibit interacting with the opposite sex. Now that would be something wont it?

And you know the best part? It is a very very realistic possibility. Give these Govts and rogue outfits enough time, and let us continue to get everything shoved down our throats and I will guarantee you the possibilities I have mentioned above will become firm reality. Again, when we analyze the root of the problem, we again go back to the same inference.

WE, THE YOUTH OF INDIA, ARE NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF COWARDS WHO LEARN TO LIVE WITH WHATEVER IS SHOVED DOWN AT US.

I apologize if this is sounding very offensive or insulting to any of you. But all I ask you to do is to give it some serious unbiased and objective thought as to the mindset of the Indian youth. Again, I would like to remind you all that I do not exclude myself from all the things that I have written above. I am now ready to acknowledge that I am a coward and that I am helpless. But are you? And only when you realize that, do you also understand the true possibility of the strength of unity among all of us. But the question remains. Who is it that is going to lead us? Who is it that is going to wake us all up from our comfort zones and cowardice to bring about some change? The media is definitely not going to do it. They are just busy finding more stories like this to start more live debates or get “expert” opinions-which get them the money and us nothing.

Come to think of it, today’s youth is indeed the future of India. But this time, the youth I am talking about are not the educated and civilized youth, but the young goons like those in the Sri Rama Sene and other outfits who attack people and the same people to whom WE ACTUALLY END UP VOTING. But again, we the youth of India, the cowards of the country will learn to live with it.

GOD HELP US ALL!!!!! If this isnt headed for a Dystopian future, I dont’ know what is.

And Thus Spake Upendra…

After like what seems to be an eternity, I went to watch a Kannada movie in a theatre. Paid 125 bucks and went to see the UPENDRA starrer Budhivantha!!! Some people called me insane. Some were plain shocked. Some gave advice which amounted to the movie being disgusting. When enquired further, none of them had watched the movie in the first place and were yet commenting confidently! I guess that’s got to do mainly with what many consider highly irritating, rhythmic and annoying song which is widely related with the word “Chitranna”! And maybe also because it involves Upendra. But either way, in spite of all their well intended advice, I ended up going to the movie, largely due to the fact that it involved Upendra and that he had written his dialogues himself!

Now the theme of the movie was known to me before I went into the theatre. Upendra would be accused of cheating 5 women and the entire movie is essentially a court room drama with intermittent flashbacks. The movie has a good storyline to hang on till the end. But what disrupts the story every now and then are the innumerable songs-essentially one for each girl he dupes and then one for his own introduction. The acting of most of the actors seemed quite natural with the female section actually exhibiting some good acting skills. All females are pretty glam throughout, what with the necessarily higher than knee dress size limit and the really well picturized song sequences. The director has really portrayed his expertise in this field by indulging in the glamorous while not crossing the line to the erotic.

But perhaps the high point of the movie is in the dialogues with Upendra clearly stealing the show with his impeccable Dakshin Kannada accent during the entire trial as he cleverly rebuffs each of the 5 women. But personally, the highlight of the entire movie was clearly the blatant mockery of Telugu Cinema making! I wouldn’t mind paying 125 bucks again just to watch that sequence of action- Telugu style-complete with white shirts and dhotis, bombs arbitrarily going off in the background and the intense rivalry between two jewellery-claden Gult millionaires! Anyone will die laughing when watching the mockery-with the ending of the scene providing the icing on the cake! I wont spoil it for you-but go watch it yourself.(Oh BTW, there is a direct flick of the Kill Bill soundtrack when Upendra gets into a fight in the jail-it is the siren like piece of music)

Upendra’s character has definitely lived up to his true acting skills and on the whole I loved the movie-even if it meant I had to sit through a never ending list of songs including CHITRANNA! Perhaps the only let down of the movie lay in the dialogue synchronization or the lack of it. Sometimes it would get real irritating with the lips saying something and something else being heard.  But it was obvious from the beginning that Kannada cinema making still has a long way to go before it reaches maturity in terms of direction and screenplay. Cliched dialogues, predictable outcomes of sequences will have to go for newer styles of film making. Upendra was definitely one person who lived up to the change that Kannada Film Industry needed in all his directorial ventures.

Needless to say, the movies UPENDRA and A, directed and starred by Upendra himself, are very easily the best kannada movie I have ever seen! The different themes and styles of dialogue delivery have in fact given them cult status! Perhaps, the still in UPENDRA which proclaims that the Editing, Screenplay, Music, Lyrics, Dialogue, Choreography, Production and Direction were all credited to Upendra is definitely testimonial to his immense and diverse talent. If you do not know kannada, then I strongly recommend you learn this language just to be able to watch and understand the movie. (Oh BTW, translations or subtitles don’t work here!) Even his other movies- Operation Antha, Shhh!, OM are all well made movies and can be watch any number of times! But it has been quite some time since he has gone on a directorial venture. And so when I watched him on a Kannada TV channel answering the question that has been on every Upendra fan’s mind-that is when is he going to direct a movie next?- he gave a reply that is worthy of a true professional. I cant quote exactly but this is what he effectively said:

“I am not going to hurry in any way. I am not going to venture into anything until I know exactly what I am doing completely. I need to know each and every aspect of a movie completely before I can start directing. When I give something to the people, I want it to be really good. This takes time and I don’t know when it is going to happen myself. Hopefully it will be sooner than later…”

If it was a wasted director like Karan Johar or Yash Chopra, the reply would have been something like -”It is already underway…and then I am starting one more. Then there is one more. So you will have 3 by this year itself. I am sure one of them will definitly be a hit!”

But Upendra definitely knows better. He will never venture into a directorial role just to dole out another movie. (I have to say this reminds me of Tarantino!)  I would rather wait for years together to watch a film like Upendra or A instead of getting to watch wasted movies like Rab ne bana Di whatever or any of the other similar movies with SRK playing out the chewed cud character.

So, as a strong Upendra follower, I will wait patiently till Upendra comes out with another movie as good as UPENDRA!!

Jethro Tull in Bangalore: A Concert Review

And it finally happened! I was finally able to see Jethro Tull performed live less than ten feet from me! Front row for Jethro Tull concert in Bangalore: couldn’t have asked for more…

I reached Palace grounds at around 6:15 in the evening with the show slated to begin at 7:30. After making a dash to the entry gates, Logik and I realized that it was not too late at all and so we found ourselves-for all practical purposes-standing in the front row. Soon the whole place was packed and I guess the attendance to the Bangalore Jethro Tull concert must have touched the 10k mark. The first thing that I noticed was the crowd and more importantly, the people covering a diverse age group. There were 5 year old kids and 75+ year old men. And this was perhaps the primary reason for a subdued energy level in the crowd compared to all the previous concerts that have taken place in Bangalore. So while I was really pumped up to scream my lungs out, I felt my enthusiasm would not really be shared by all those around me.  But nevertheless, the show started and for the first time in the history of Event Management in Bangalore, the show started 20 minutes ahead of time!!!! Thats right! IaN Anderson himself came out at 7:10 to introduce Anoushka Shankar and her troupe of musicians who would perform the first act. And as soon as Anoushka Shankar started playing  her sitar, I was mind-blown!

Firstly, how can one make sitar playing look so damn easy? And secondly, did you get a look at her fingers? I did, and they were pretty damn long-esp the pinky! And so the nimble-fingered Anoushka went on to play Raag Jog and followed it with Raag Panchamsigara-composed by her father- and both were filled with exquisite blends of melody and skill. It was indeed a real treat to watch her play!

And then came the time everyone were waiting for. Tull finally took stage, with Ian Anderson opening the set with My Sunday Feeling. And as he began singing, I then realized why some people had been telling me that his voice is well past his prime. But in spite of that constraint, his singing was in perfect harmony and in tune. Immediately after that, David’s bass piece sounded the intro to Living in The Past. One of the real rock songs that I have ever heard being played right in front of me by the men themselves. It was a moment to remember.

“We’ll keep on living in the past…”

The band then went on to play Serenade to a Cuckoo- an instrumental originally written by Rahsaan Roland Kirk- and played it to perfection. I have to say, in spite of his voice being past his prime, Ian Anderson played his flute and guitar to perfection- each and every note! NURSIE was the next song and this originally short song was extended thanks to Martin Barre’s extended lead. Soon after, he announced Mick Jagger-Sir Mick Jagger-one of the greatest rock musicians turned 65 recently and screamed into Too Old to Rock ‘n’ Roll! The entire crowd sang along for this one and I was simply just happy to be there watching Tull play.

A New Day Yesterday was next up and I was praying they would play Sossity You’re a Woman, Budapest or Heavy Horses. And I didn’t have to wait for long for them to churn out Thick as a Brick and again, as the whole crowd seemed to sing along, I was again just happy to shut up and listen to Anderson. I didn’t really know that the flute sound that appears in the intro is actually from the keyboard until I saw them do so.  Soon after that, Anderson amused the crowd with his knowledge about Global Warming and Carbon Footprints and how we needed to get back to using the HEAVY HORSES!  This was one song I was really hoping to hear them play and they belted out the entire number- all of the long song with everything falling into place perfectly! That one song really made my evening worth it.

And then, without a break, Martin Barre sounded the intro to Aqualung! It was at this exact point that the entire crowd-except the ones that were seated- went hysterical! And I for one, screamed my lungs out! The acoustic piece in the middle and then the build up to the lead was perhaps the 2 most blissful minutes of my past few weeks! Even though the lead wasn’t exactly the same as the original, it was still Martin Barre playing that and it turned out great! The song was played with a noticable reduction in the tempo as compared to the original. I guess that only extended my bliss time. And when the song finally ended, I realized that I had indeed found some purpose in life-really!

There was a ten minute break and then Anoushka Shankar joined Tull to play out some fusion stuff which I have to say, given the limited amount of time to rehearse, came out extra-ordinarily well synchronized and co-ordinated. They started off with what Ian chose to call TEA WITH ANOUSHKA and then went on to play CELTIC CRADLE- a fusion between the aboriginal Celtic music, complete with the Harmonica and Indian music with the entire Troupe performing. The  Indian flautist, Ravi Chandra Kullur showcased his prowess on the flutes on LITTLE GLASS FOLK which drew a real wild cheer from the crowd on more than one occassion! Tull then went on to play MOTHER GOOSE to wind up that set.

But no script or speculation could have prepared me or anyone for what was witnessed over the span of the next two songs! Ok everyone knew Anderson had not played Bouree and Locomotive Breath. And so it was no surprise when he mentioned the name of Sebastian Bach and everyone understood what was coming next. But what no one understood or even thought of was Anoushka’s contribution to Bouree. And that was what made this concert so damn unique!

Anderson’s Bouree could have soothed a raging elephant and when Anoushka started to accompany Anderson on Bouree, I was a little apprehensive. But it took all of 3 seconds to change my mind as Anoushka’s sitar part of Bouree proved to be a mind blowing experience! And as Logik put it, “It was the best Bouree I have heard! BTW, there are over 70 of them!” And so was the case when John came up with the keyboards for Locomotive Breath because Anoushka accompanied the band even on that song! The chord progression of the song- Em-G-D-Em/A- was played on the sitar (Dont ask me how) and it sounded as if it was supposed to have been there all this time. It was really a dream come true to have been there right at the front with Tull playing all those classics but as the show wound up, I promised myself to go to at least another Tull concert where he would play all the songs that he missed out this time around!

Now apart from the actual concert, there were a few things that I came about that I found worth mentioning. Firstly, the whole event was sponsored by 100 Pipers. And they didn’t have a single stall selling alcohol! WTF??? I was so very looking forward to drinking 100 Pipers and now I strongly believe that the Samosawala made more money than SEAGRAM’S.

Secondly, I came across some real disgusting scenes that took place right in front of me. Those of you who were right at the front of the 1100  section crowd  and standing near the left edge of the barricades will perhaps recollect thsi as well. During the second half of the concert, when Anoushka and Tull were jamming together, 2 girls came from nowhere and suddenly stood in front  of me. I was like WTF?? These chics were dressed up with a lot to hope for. And they began to pass comments that included: “Oooooooooooooh!” “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” “Cho Chweeeeeeeeet!”. One of them-the real ugly looking one- suddenly decided not to give me the satisfaction of having attended a smoke-free concert by chain smoking her way through the concert. And not just that, the physical proximity between the two of them, or the lack of it, suddenly started planting some scary questions in my head! But it just didn’t stop at that! My questions were quickly answered and my worst fears came true right in front of me! I actually saw them friggin’ making out right in front me!!!

( PUKE BREAK)

There were these real old people less than 2 feet from them but that didn’t deter their session! Aaaah! But then, me being me, I tried to find an explanation about their present behaviour. After much analysis, I arrived at two possibilities:

1. They were both stoned or

2. They were the 2 biggest phonies I have ever come across in my life!

Oh wait! I just came up with a third possibility: They were the 2 biggest phonies I have ever met AND they were stoned!!! Yeah that makes a lot of sense! But watching them do stuff got me grossed out pretty bad! I think I will  stick to my RUSSIAN INSTITUTE Series (LOGIK are you listening???)

And apart from this, I also happened to be scouting the papers and the web for concert reviews and I found only one. Now I have to say, I am really known to make the journalist’s life miserable for writing a fake review (like the Scorpions Concert) or making big time blunders in their reviews(like the Strawberry Fields thing). But alas, I could find only 1 review on the web and in that too I found just 1 blunder. I can only say that the Hindu review on the concert was really well written except for this one small piece of blunder when the writer mistook NURSIE for MERCY! It is a small thing if you are just a writer but a real blunder if you claim yourself to be a writer and a Tull fan! But I guess I will let this mistake pass this time around.

Also I didn’t get hold of any photos from the concert. So if any of you happen to have any, please do let me know where I can find them.

New Age Soporific

I happened to be having a late night drive some time back today after a hard day’s work. I am driving my car making a conscious and sincere effort not to accidentally run over some arbit driving or pedestrian dude (lots to choose from I have to say!). So like any other day, I put on the radio (not with any particular hope though) just to make sure I dont fall asleep. And as per my expectation, every damn channel was playing some crappy music, either in the form of some under-evolved Kannada pop or some phoney dik-chik-dik-chik club music. Some of the other crappy stuff necessarily included some phoney female RJ trying her best to sound like the happiest chic in town. Hell! I think even some Peruvian Flute bands would have sounded better! And usually in such situations, I usually tune  into some classical music but unfortunately that station was already down for the day. And then I remembered this decent show that comes up in FM Rainbow from 10 to 11 in the night. They usually play some decent old rock during that time. And so I tune into FM Rainbow 101.3….

What I would have liked to listen to was some listenable song. But what I did not expect to find, was some soporific nimrod who was doubling up as an RJ for the night, talking on the phone to another phoney trying to extract such useless opinions as what would be the ideal salary package that one would need to live a happy life in Bangalore!! I mean WTF do I care? In fact, WTF does anyone care? On top of it, this RJ dude finds it real exciting to drag the conversation to mind numbing durations-what with his lullaby voice doing the trick! Ok… I realize I don’t have many options so I stick to the station. And after about what seemed like a suffocating eternity, he plays an AIR SUPPLY song. And as soon as that gets over, guess what? Another phoney comes up on air and so begins another round of soporific dialogue! And it is then I realize that the phone conversations were actually longer than the songs that were being played! WTF??? So what that meant was that more than half the show was filled with this pointless hazy conversations about one’s pay package!! And to wind it all up, after all the impatient wait, all they end up playing is some female churning out some typical high pitched banal contemporary shit!

And that was it! No more soporific accompanied banal non sense! Dude, I am not tuning into 101.3 FM again!And I do the smartest thing by just turning off the damn radio! God Damn it! Isn’t there any worthwhile stuff that is ever played in Bangalore FM Radio Stations???

WTF????

PS: All my ‘phonies’ are inspired by CHAPTER 27, a movie based on David Chapman’s life and his obsession with Cathcher in the Rye. Nevertheless, all these phonies are completely true.

Jethro Tull in India

This post is a preview of the Jethro Tull India Tour 2008. For the Concert Review of the Bangalore Tull Edition, click here.

Finally!!!FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How desperately I have waited… How I have fantasised about this ever since I first listened to Tull! Finally this dream is going to come true. Jethro Tull is coming down to India in November and will be touring 5 cities here. And fortunately for me, I am in one of them. I wasnt here last time around when they came to Bangalore. But I am here right now and going nowhere. So here are the details:

Jethro Tull touring India in November/December 2008 with Anoushka Shankar, the daughter of Pandit Ravishankar. Tull will be touring Bangalore, Mumbai, New Delhi, Hyderabad and Kolkata with the dates and venues also given below

PLEASE NOTE THE CHANGE IN THE DATES AND VENUES!!!!!

1. 27/11/08 : Kolkata, Science City Auditorium

2. 29/11/08 : Mumbai, Shanmukhnanda Auditorium

3. 30/11/08 : New Delhi, Hamsadhwani Amphitheatre

4. 2/12/08 : Bangalore, Palace Grounds

5. 3/12/08 : Hyderabad, Shilpkala Vedika Auditorium

Kolkata and Hyderabad finally get to see something!

And btw, I came across this website which has been documenting Tull Concerts since before Tull itself! They have the set list of every damn Tull concert.  Of  late, this is what the set list has been:

My Sunday Feeling, Living In The Past, Serenade To A Cuckoo, Nursie, A Song For Jeffrey, Sossity You’re A Woman/Reasons For Waiting, Farm On The Freeway, Bourée, A New Day Yesterday (incl. Kelpie), Too Old To Rock’N'Roll…, We Used To Know/With You There To Help Me, Dharma For One (incl. drum solo & Count The Chickens), Heavy Horses, Thick As A Brick, Aqualung, Locomotive Breath.

They are also expected to play some new Indo-Celtic fusion compositions.

I really wish they play something, anything from Roots to Branches. And I would go hysterical if they would play Budapest or Bungle in a Jungle. But nothing is going to stop them from playing one of the greatest discoveries of my life: Aqualung. So as long as they play that, I am more than happy to have paid for my ticket. And as far as Anoushka Shankar is concerned, she is just a bonus on my ticket!

LATEST TICKET UPDATE: The tickets are officially up for sale online!  As per my previous hunch, the tickets for the Jethro Tull India 2008 tour- Delhi, Mumbai, Kolkata, Hyderabad and Bangalore- will be available online at Bookmyshow.com. The website started sales on 1st Nov. 08. But unfortunately, I found that there is some problem with the website as it was not opening. I have no idea when it will be fixed. So just in case, do figure out how to buy tickets offline as well in your respective city.

Also of note are the prices for the Jethro Tull concerts in all five cities. I had initially presumed the ticket prices to be the same everywhere but apparently there is a big variation.  So please keep in mind that the ticket prices are different for different cities depending on the local entertainment tax. Here are the details of the tickets in the different cities.  Also very importantly, I would suggest you go through the concert seat layout in your respective city very carefully before you choose the ticket range.

The CEO of Network 18, which is organizing this show has said that they have not received any intimation from the Mumbai police about the show being cancelled and as of now-ie afternoon on 28 Nov- there is no change in any of the schedule.

1. BANGALORE: The Tickets are priced as follows:

DIAMOND-Rs. 1900/-

PLATINUM-Rs.1100/-

GOLD-Rs.700/-

PLEASE NOTE THE CHANGES IN THE WAY THE TICKETS ARE DISTRIBUTED… THE ORGANIZERS HAVE CHANGED IT!!!! The following picture will clearly explain the seating arrangement. Only the Diamond in Seating and the rest are standing. Earlier, Platinum was also meant for seating. But now it has been changed to standing.

Seating/Standing arrangements in Bangalore for Tull concert

The tickets are available offline at Music World outlets in Indiranagar, Jayanagar and Malleshwaram

2. DELHI: Now these are the prices in Delhi:

DIAMOND-Rs.2950/- SOLD OUT!!!!

PLATINUM-Rs.1950/-

GOLD-Rs.1100/- -SOLD OUT!!!!!

Again, go through the picture below for the seating in Delhi at the Hamsadhwani Amphitheatre (Pragati Maidan). Note that everything is seating and Gold means you are the farthest.

Tull Seating in Delhi

3. KOLKATA: The tickets are priced as below:

ALL TICKETS ARE SOLD OUT!!!!! The capacity itself was too less!

Diamond – Rs. 1500.00

Platinum-Rs.1000/-

Gold-Rs.750/-

GOld(Balcony)-Rs.750/-

Silver- Rs.500/-

I do not have the seating arrangement for the Science City Auditorium as there is no arrangement released on the website. I believe it will be a fully seated auditorium and I guess the Kolkata junta knows where comes what.

4. Hyderabad: The tickets are priced as below:

Diamond – Rs. 1800.00

Platinum-Rs.1000/-

GOld(Balcony)-Rs.700/-

Again, there is no seating arrangement available and I suspect this is also a concert held in an indoor auditorium. So I believe, cheaper means farther. The Hyderabad guys also note that initially the venue was given as Hi TEch City Auditorium. Now I find that it is Shilpkala Vedika Auditorium. Have no idea if both are the same or different. Do check yourself for further details regarding the venue.

5.MUMBAI: The tickets are priced as below:

Diamond – Rs. 4500.00

Platinum-Rs.2900/-

Gold (Ground/First Floor) -Rs.1900/-

Silver (First/Second Floor)-Rs.1100/- FIRST FLOOR SOLD OUT!!!!!

Here too, I was not able to find the seating arrangement map as such but I guess the seating categories are self explanatory. This is also an indoor thing I believe at the Shanmukhananda Auditorium.

As far as I am concerned, I am going for front row -obviously standing-so I already have my 1100 bucks ready!

SO you coming???