My Comeback Post!

Before I say anything at all, this post is not for the faint hearted or for those looking for decency or decorum of any form. I am just pissed at my life and this post is just going to vent my ire on the present state of affairs.

Ok so here is my situation. I am out of my job. No it was not the fucked up recession- I just quit on health grounds. So right now have nothing to do but surf the net all day, laze around or at best, watch some movies and TV Series. Now in case all you working assholes think that being at home doing what I am doing is better than your fucked up workplace, well fucking think again. This aint half as good as it looks like. All I got now, is a fucked up computer with an unpredictable net connection, loads of books which I am trying to read simultaneously (8 at last count) and a fuckin inability to go out often thanks largely to my perpetually fucked up health. So what the fuck am I doing right now? Well, for one, I finally got my ass down to right a post after like ages together of inactivity. Then I sleep. I sleep till I fuckin wake up by myself. You understand what that means you suckers? No damn work or committment makes me keep some god damn alarm at 7 in the morning spoiling all the excitement that I get from the only one source of entertainment- my fuckin dreams. Yeah thats how fucked up my life is right now.

So what else am I doing? Well for one, I am definitely waiting a lot-waiting to get out of this shithole called this country to study what I want and guess what? I am on my fuckin way! UK looks like the likely destination but frankly speaking, I still have not yet decided. So if any of you morons suddenly feel the urge to enquire about which continent I am headed to, then expect me to use the choicest of the slangs which will necessarily include the word Fuck followed by or embedded in I DONT KNOW. I got two admits in UK so far.  And yeah I am quite happy about that. But I aint decided anything yet. So if any of you still asks me where the fuck I am going, dont be surprised if I use more than just FUCK OFF in my reply.

My last few weeks have been largely spent in the cyberspace and on the wasted Idiot Box. I did have a drink with my dad though last weekend. Mom had gone out of station-to a pretty boiling Bijapur-on some office related work-thanks largely because of her “Promotion” to an Audit Officer. The drink lasted exactly one hour and included discussing arbit shit and listening to my dad talking the same stuff for over like some 15 years now. But I was liking the whisky-Blender’s Pride- and just concentrated on that and the extra-ordinary car chase sequence in the movie RONIN that was being played on Star Movies. Perhaps, one major achievement that I was able to do in the meantime was to watch DEVD. If you have not watched it, then go watch it. Then watch it again. And then watch it some 10 times more. And after all that, if you still find the movie  mediocre or bad or just OK, then go fuckin die somewhere. You seriously do not deserve to exist on this planet. There is one fact and one fact only. Anurag Kashyap and Amit Trivedi are the new GODS of film making and Music Direction respectively. And if any of you wasted nimrods even as much as think about saying anything less credible, consider yourself the biggest fuckin douchebag on the planet.  I loved the music so much, I actually for once in 6 years, went and purchased an original CD of  DEV D. It cost me just 145 bucks and I would have gladly paid 500 bucks for it. I listen to the entire fuckin CD some 3-4 times a day and will continue to do so till God Knows when. Anyway me going to watch DEV D again this weekend with Sadanand, famous in this blog largely for spending 4 fuckin years in the same room with me. Also of late he has a different claim to fame. He has made a complete mockery of the dreaded CAT exam by going there with exactly ZERO preparation except probably getting his ass down to the exam centre (which is a big thing for him trust me) and giving a quite significant middle finger to the exam and then getting ALL the FUCKING SIX CALLS from the IIMS. Now all you wasted wannabees who enrol yourselves in all these wasted CAT Coaching classes spending thousands like morons and slogging your ass of for the major part of 2-3 years and then not even figuring in any of the IIM call lists, all I have to say is this:

for(n=1;n++)

{MOCKING LAUGHTER}

Of course it will be the greatest disaster known to mankind if this dude fails to convert any of his calls, but I have a feeling that is not likely to happen.

Just a small thing aside my rantings. I recently met my friend who had somehow, for whatever strange reason, decided to wear her Salwar instead of her habitual Pants and shirts. The first thing that struck me was that this Salwas stuff was actually quite a feminine looking thing. Then I didn’t understand why the fuck all these girls wear all these manly masculine things like pants and shirts and all that. This female was, for a change, looking very very very very feminine in her new never-before and never-again tried attire. And I told her that like some thousand times and somehow she just couldnt accept the fact that she was looking awesome in that new type of dress. She later told me that that was the only Salwar she owns and that all the rest of her wardrobe is necessarily filled with masculine stuff. I haven’t seen her since but something tells me she reverted back to her masculine looking Shirts and Pants and all that.  She is also the same female who took an auto rick from Bangalore Central to Garuda Mall and then back from Garuda Mall to Bangalore Central paying in excess of 70 bucks for a 200m drive! ROFL!!!!ROFL!!!!ROFL!!!!!! Taking a rick for 200m when you can actually see one building from the other!!! Oh man! Now THAT is something!!!She also asked me not to tell any of this on my blog here for fear that someone living some half the planet away might get upset. Hey dude (you know who you are): you upset man???

Apart from all that, I have to say my blogging has fuckin sufferred. There was never a time when I went for more than a month without writing. I wrote shit and I wrote some more shit. But I wrote some shit atleast. Now I have like 3 fuckin drafts in my wordpress account which I haven’t been able to complete in all the free fuckin time I have had the past few weeks. Among them are my trip to IIT Madras to see Opeth, my even more memorable NITK Convocation, and also the recent Maiden concert in bangalore. I cant believe I havent finished these posts still. I cant believe I havent done any fucking constructive work for the past few weeks. I have never felt so fuckin dead in a long fuckin time.

Every fuckin day I wake up at like-whenever I wake up- and I brush my teeth and eat whatever makeshift breakfast my dad has prepared. Then watch some wasted TV or try my best not to get frustrated when my fuckin Internet connection isn’t working. Then go have some lunch in my granny’s place or my aunt’s place and then come back and try to convince myself that I am still alive and that I am not dreaming. Oh wait, I dont think I do the last part. My dreams are way more exciting to convince myself otherwise. Perhaps the only damn constructive activity I have been doing over the past few weeks is to teach my cousin some math for her Tenth Board exams and to teach my other cousin some multiplication before she is taught that in a routine wasted way at her school. I have also been writing a shitload of essays for some scholarship that I have absolutely no damn hopes on and submitting it like 10 minutes after the deadline and then thinking it is too late only to realize that it was not and that I am still eligible for being considered for the scholarship. And oh yeah, I have been having this very interesting and totally unexpected role to play as the guy who can end up breaking up a 5 year old strong relationship, involving his extremely close freind, heading for marriage, with astrology. Ok now, seriously What the Fuck am I doing with my life? I feel so fuckin dead, I dont even know what the fuck I am doing anymore.

So what the fuck is needed to make me feel better? I have no fuckin clue. Probably a bottle of whisky with all my alcohol buddies and some Floyd in the background will help. But thats as far as my brain can work. I don’t know why the fuck I wrote all this and that too in this wasted FUCKED up manner using more slang in this one post than all of my 100 posts combined. I guess that can be easily attributed to this new TV Series I have been watchin- CALIFORNICATION-about a guy who, well, fucks women and then writes and then still believes his ex-wife will come back to him and then fucks some more women. Thats one of the very few good things that has happened to me of late. Not the women fucking part, but the TV series part.

I think I am done here. I said all I wanted to say. I have sworn all I wanted to swear. And I still dont have any fucking clue what I am going to do for the rest of the day or rest of the hour or even rest of the fuckin minute.

Aaah! This shit sucks!!

A Lot of Arbit Stuff…

There have been a whole load of arbit things going on around that really deserve something more than just a moment’s thought. And so in my sincere effort to immortalize the same, I shall duly make a mention of them in this very post. So here goes, in no particular order:

1) I finally had my second stint with CHIVAS REGAL. And to be frank, it was perhaps, by far the most eventful thing that has taken place in my home in the past few years! The eventful part was not so much the consumption of the Scotch as was the aftermath of emptying the 1 litre bottle by just the 4 of us! That included me, my cousin, my dad and my uncle. The consumption prolonged long enough for all 4 of us to feel invincible in our own ways. My cousin truly believed that he was in the perfect position to drive back home after some 300ml of hard liquor. And he went on to demonstrate his steadfastness by trying to walk straight on a line. It was only after I told him that the very fact that he is trying to walk in a line proves that he is not in control. Each one of us reacted in our own unique ways. Not to mention all the hidden feelings that were revealed during the consumption. I couldn’t help but tell my mom all the things that I wanted to tell her but never really got around doing it. My mom was really feeling incongruous amidst the whole inebriated state of affairs. But soon things wound up and I woke up next day with absolutely zero hangover. MAN! Thats why CHIVAS REGAL is what it is!

2) About 3 days prior to that, was New Years Eve. Oh, btw, Happy New Year and all that. Now lets get down to the relevant part. We had a sizeable party at our house. My cousins, aunt, uncle, some neighbours. In all we were some 10-15. Again, by default, there was alcohol. Mainly beer, with a little whiskey by the side. Got high enough to enjoy the rest of the function a little more than usual. That included food tasting better, the music sounding more melodious, relevant people looking good and of course the firecrackers looking even better.

3) The worst movie that I have watched in a long time has been very easy for me to decide. OM SHANTI OM. It was just too easy for me to choose this movie over many bollywood competitors. Now here is thing. It is such a pathetic movie. But still went on to become a huge hit. Now let me first remind you that this can happen only in India. So how do you make a pathetic movie succesful? Very simple. Spend more cash to create extra-large hype and publicize the movie as the best movie ever made etc etc. And guess what? The people actually buy it! They truly believe the movie to be exactly what the reviews told them to be. And its an open secret that most of the reviews are funded by the producers themselves.

Coming back to the movie in itself, it is supposed to be a spoof on the movie making styles of the 70’s and the 80’s. It not only fails at that, but it also makes sure that it makes a blatant and shameless mockery out of itself. And even if the script tries to talk sense, along comes Shah Rukh Khan to make sure that the movie sucks! I actually felt like puking as I was watching the movie.

So for all of you who actually liked the movie, god save you all…

4) On the other hand, another Bollywood movie really interested me. This movie was a critically acclaimed movie but a commercial failure. I am talking about NO SMOKING. It is Bollywood’s first attempt at film noir. And I have to say I was really impressed with the acting prowess of John Abraham and also the script written by Anurag Kashyap. The movie recieved widespread criticism for flouting with the boundaries of mainstream cinema. Needless to say, the people read these reviews and never even bothered to watch the movie. Some nimrod actually believed that movies like these are only fit to be uploaded on youtube for general viewing! (I hope that guy becomes a retard some day.) But for those few who watched the movie and actually understood the hidden message, will realize that the director Anurag Kashyap has been silently laughing at all the criticisms and negative reviews. It is more like he is happily showing all these people his middle finger and screaming “up yours!” I suggest that you watch the movie with an open mind and make an effort to interpret every character and situation in the movie. And if you don’t understand it, then just go back to your usual mainstream movies.

5) About 3 months back, I made one of the discoveries of my life when I watched PULP FICTION. Now for those of you who tried watching it for the first time and gave up for lack of story, let me tell you that I did the same too. That was when I hadnt watched too many movies and was not familiar with the idea of a cult movie. Only a couple of years after I first tried to watch the movie, did I make myself sit in front of the computer and watch the entire movie. And man! It was one of the best things to have ever happened to me! First of all, one has to realize that this is not a plot driven movie but that it is a dialogue driven movie. So if there is anything that you need to pay attention to, it is the dialogues in the movie and of course the characters as such. Each character exists because of a reason. There is no character that exists just for the sake of it. Ever since, I have got obsessed with the character Jules, portrayed excellently by Samuel Jackson. “The Bonnie situation” in the movie is perhaps the best piece of movie making that I have ever seen! Tarantino is a genius! I strongly suggest each one of you to watch the movie more than once. Thats because the first time you watch it , you are bound to leave it incomplete.

6) I have finally regained my interest in books after a long hiatus. I have decided to screw the library near my home and am going to buy the books myself instead. I have already bought and finished quite a few books. I am presently exploring something that is both new and different to me. Recently I finished reading “Brave New World” by
Aldous Huxley, “Life of Pi” by Yann Martel, “Crime and Punishment” by Fyodor Dostoyevsky and finished part of “Business Maharajas” by Gita Piramal. Each book,I found, was new and different in its own way. My main objective is to read as many new and diversified writings as possible. I am presently reading “Zen and the art of Motorcycle Maintenance” by RObert Pirsig and next in line is “The Brothers Karamazov” by Dostoyevsky followed by “Notes from the Underground” again by Dostoyevsky.

7) The following statement is meant directly for a good friend of mine and it is meant to convey exactly what it says:
“22 is too damn young an age to get married!”

I am finally back in my hostel and have big plans of travelling in my last semester. I shall update as and when my travels take place.

So there it was. 8 totally arbit things that I just felt deserved more attention than just that thought in my head. Like I said in my earlier post, I have to write an extensive report on my experience at Mood indigo in Bombay, which I shall be doing as soon as I am able to upload my pics. So till then, please be patient.

Waited Too F***ing Long…

 I am listening to some music that I never thought I was even capable of and I am writing this shit as if I were stoned(incidentally I am not). I have just one thing to say:

So many deals with GOD and still no sign of HIM keeping his end.  

I guess its just not going to happen. LIVE WITH IT. Yeah try telling that to me…

God Damn it!

Where is the f***in Scotch when you need it most?

PS: I will be writing about my trip to Manipal in a short while as I plan to go there again this weekend.

About Photo Sharing Sites and other rantings…

I have been spending the entire day trying out various photo sharing websites like Flickr, Photobucket, Photoworks and Picasa. All of them claim to offer a lot of features and space to upload your photos. But it is only today, after a long study into them that I realized that each had some or the other flaw.

Take Flickr for example: I had been using Flickr to upload my photos. Though I had not been really uploading a hell lot, there were quite a few photos in my account and I had grouped them into two sets or albums. Now today I upload some 20 more photos and then I create one more set. So far so good. Then I upload some more and try to create one more separate set and guess what? I cant! Thats right! I am not allowed to create more than 3 sets of photos in Flickr! Then how the hell am I supposed to organize my photos? And to be able to create more sets, I am supposed to pay them $25 a year! Balls to you people!

If the reason why this is done is to make people realize the extra features that is available to them on payment, then it is one of the lamest features to be restricted. It is just that- the lamest thing possible! Now all my photos are just haphazardly stored in the Flickr account. Visit it here .

So I was recommended the likes of Picasa. Now here is the thing. I usually have a lot of photos to upload at a time. But Picasa allows me to upload only 3 at a time from the website. I can upload very very easily using the Picasa program but again, very very conveniently my esteemed college has set up a proxy setting which has to be entered into every program that requires net connection and unfortunately the Picasa program has no such feature. So to hell with Picasa as well.

Then I opened Photobucket. There I found things pretty convenient until I tried to use their bulk uploader. It needed some java shit that just refused to install on my comp. But atleast you can upload some 20 photos at a time. So I stuck to it. And then I see that it has some very unconvincing display features. Flickr has(had) good and really appealing display features. So when a stranger visits your photo account, they wont get bored to death. But I wouldnt be surprised if a visitor to my photobucket account makes an honest effort to forget my very existence. But I have to say that they have a very interesting feature of tagging parts of the photo. So you can name your friends in the photo and when the mouse pointer hovers around his/her face, the name is displayed. That was cool!

But in the end, I have to say that it was a really frustrating experience today.

Presently I am sticking on to Photobucket. Here is my account.

Either way, I was quite surprised how much my traffic has increased ever since I wrote the previous post blaspheming someone I know quite well. Keep it up guys!!! There is more coming!

And apart from all the ranting, I would like to bring your esteemed attention to the very fact as to why I have suddenly become very enthusiastic about sharing photos. Well thing is that 2 days ago, I finally did what I hadnt done in the 3 1/2 years. I travelled north from my college towards Manipal seeking greener pastures. And boy was I in for a treat!

So you will find a post about my trip to Manipal and the subsequent realization that I was a stranger in a strange land. That is most likely to be my next post…

So till then, keep reading and thank you for all the traffic!