UEFA has decided to make incorrect referee decisions mandatory, effective from the knock out stages of the UEFA Champions League and the Last-16 of Europa League. This ruling will be applicable to only these 2 tournaments this season. However, starting the 2012-13 season, all leagues and all competitions overseen by UEFA will be required to introduce mandatory referee decisions which are incorrect. This decision was taken up as part of our efforts to drive the organization along the ‘totally-not-ridiculous’ vision of our legendary President Michel Platini.

Michel Platini - explaining his vision for European Football

The vision that Michel Platini has for UEFA and European Football appears to have been indicated by none other than himself a few days ago when he made revelatory comments about the state of football and whether or not to allow video technology in it.

Video is not for football. Human (adjudication) is better. Football became popular thanks to its human values. If that becomes a commercial value, it will lose all its popularity.

Though his initial comments appeared to make his stand clear about use of video technology in football, it was nevertheless vague and unspecific about his vision for the game. This he clarified in his later comments as to what he believed drove football’s popularity.

Football has also based its popularity on injustices. You can remember them and talk about them in the bars. You can talk about 1982, France-Germany, it was an injustice like the hand of Maradona or that of Henry. The notoriety also comes from negative things in football.

Through his later comments, Platini seems to be taking European football in a whole new direction – one which is aimed at increasing the popularity of the game. And he intends to take the shortest way to achieve that aim. In a subsequent press conference, the President himself spoke to reporters about his vision and how he plans to increase football’s popularity.

It is very simple you see. It is a lot easier to make something popular through its negative things. So, like I had said a few days ago, we need stuff to remember and talk about in bars. This way, the game can become more popular! And this is our main objective.

I mean, think about it. Instead of having  just a few games here and there – spread out over time and geography – which have talking points, we intend to take it to the next level by requiring ALL European games to have talking points! How innovative and original is that! Think of all the possibilities that come with such a ruling!

There will no more be any favorites to win any match, let alone a tournament! There will also be an exponential increase in the level of competition everywhere. Suddenly you will find ALL teams fighting for the title. Isn’t that a dream come true for so many fans around the world – to have a realistic chance of  their team winning a big tournament? With so much uncertainty and chaos, football’s popularity will soar!

And do you know the best part? This can serve as the perfect solution to all those big spending clubs who will utilize all the abundant loopholes to beat the Financial Fairplay rules! I mean, what difference will all that big spending on big players make if  the referees (read UEFA) do not allow them to win matches?!!?

I am so awesome no??!?

Though we are yet to receive official reaction from the clubs and players, one industry which has voiced its opinion against the move is the betting industry. Spokesperson for the betting industry released a statement:

Though the intention to create a more level playing field is welcome, the betting industry cannot comprehend such a ridiculous and asinine measure to achieve the aim. The betting industry will run out of business if these rules are enforced because ALL teams will always have a 1-1 betting odds irrespective of whom they are playing!

ESPN’s (self appointed) Pundit Shebby Singh was talking to John Dykes about the drawbacks of the rule and pointed out the inherent flaw in its working.

What Platini is forgetting is that, even if he uses video replays, the person who will eventually make the call is still human. And he is always prone to errors. But if more wrong decisions can be overturned, then the game becomes clean while still maintaining the possibility of  having ‘talking points at bars’ due to the human element involved in judging the video replay itself!

Also John, I would like to add one more point here. Platini is half right about the injustice meted out during the 1982 France-West Germany semifinal. In his opinion, the injustice was to France because the goalkeeper Schumacher was not sent off for breaking the jaw and spine of Patrick Battiston. However, the way I see it, the injustice was to the whole of European football because Schumacher should have actually broken Platini’s jaws and certainly his skull during that match, but he didn’t. That would have saved us all from this impending doom with Platini’s current position as President of UEFA.

]]> http://arbitblogs.wordpress.com/2012/01/05/breaking-news-uefa-to-make-incorrect-referee-decisions-mandatory/feed/ 0 Akshay N R Michel Platini http://arbitblogs.wordpress.com/2011/12/14/breaking-news-kapil-sibal-declares-only-religious-people-have-right-to-feel-offended/ http://arbitblogs.wordpress.com/2011/12/14/breaking-news-kapil-sibal-declares-only-religious-people-have-right-to-feel-offended/#comments Thu, 15 Dec 2011 02:50:39 +0000 Akshay N R http://arbitblogs.wordpress.com/?p=720 ]]> In a bid to reinforce his image as the most clever minister in the ruling government (and as the official spokesperson for the Royal Family of India), Minister of Communications and Information Technology Kapil Sibal today came up with a new proposal which declared that only the religious people of the country have the right to feel offended. In a hurriedly called press conference, the minister read from his statement:

After ‘holding talks’ with the religious ‘heads and authorities’, we have come to a ‘consensus’ that only the religious people of this country will henceforth have the right to feel offended. Religious sentiments are something everyone should respect and nobody should offend. We just decided to take it a step further and draw the line there. So, conversely speaking, one cannot claim to be offended unless they are religious and their religious sentiments are involved.

Mr. Sibal clarified that he would be tabling this bill in the parliament in the next session and expected it to pass through with absolutely no objection.

We can expect for the first time this session, the opposition NOT to bring the proceedings to a halt. This is such a populist and secular bill that nobody will even dare to raise their voice against it! This will become a law by New Year!

The reporters were buzzing with questions and trying to make themselves heard. One eventually asked, “How is it fair to leave out non-believers and non-religious people out of their right to feel offended? Isn’t this blatant discrimination?”

To this, Mr. Sibal was quick to respond:

Well, I asked this question to all the religious heads and authorities too. And they pointed out that while religious people believe in something, irrespective of which God it is, non-religious people do not believe in anything at all! And so if they don’t believe in anything in the first place, then why would they ever feel offended at all? It seemed to make perfect sense to me. So I just agreed with them!

“But atheists and non-believers do believe in reason and this little thing called common f***ing sense! What are they supposed to do when religious people repeatedly say that the atheists are the most ignorant people on this planet? Not feel offended?”, yelled out one reporter.

Mr. Sibal seemed to consider this question with some weight. After a long pause, he replied enthusiastically,

That is the most intelligent question I have ever been asked! And the answer is in your question itself! Well, if you are a reasonable person with common sense, then only you are capable of understanding that other people – i.e the believers and religious people – need to have their right to freedom of speech and expression, right? And so since you can understand this, you are reasonable enough NOT to get upset about it!

On the other hand, have you ever tried reasoning with a religious person about different viewpoints? I mean, seriously, when has a religious person ever NOT gotten upset or angry or offended over ANYTHING you might have said that was contrary to his beliefs? I am sure that right now, at this moment, all of them want to smash my head to pieces because of what I just said – thus proving my very point!

So you see, the atheists and the non-believers are the only group of people who are even capable of not getting offended when others express different views. So if you are a reasonable person, you will NOT get offended if you are called the most ignorant person on this planet!

Of course, what this means is that you cannot ask the religious people to compromise on this and so it had to be the non-religious people!

There seemed to be a murmur of assent and agreement over what Mr. Sibal had just said. Even Mr. Sibal himself seemed to be in a state of sudden enlightenment trying to come to terms with what he had just said. After a brief pause, a reporter asked him, “So how do you intend to deal with the wide variety of cases that people usually tend to feel offended about?”

Kapil Sibal seemed to already have an answer ready for this:

Well, that is an easy question to answer. You see, the trick is to eventually attribute  whatever is being said to be offensive to religion. Take for example, girls wearing skirts. Many find it ‘morally’ and ‘culturally’ offensive. But then once they say that their moral values and culture is derived from religion, they have a case and can now go ahead and feel legally offended! In fact, all those people claiming to be the ‘moral’ police will now be rechristened as ‘religiously-easily-offended’ police!

And when it comes to more indirect cases of feeling offended, well, just use your brains I suppose! Just find a way to relate whatever offended you to religion and Booyah! You can legally feel offended and pursue the person offending you in court! Of course, the Govt is going to use this ploy to prosecute anyone and everyone who has anything bad to say about the Royal family of India. We will always find a way to make it a religious thing! Have you seen Glenn Beck? Have you seen his ability to relate ANYTHING on this planet to the Nazis? That man has a talent! We will even go the extent of hiring him to exploit this law!

For the last question of the press conference, a journalist from an unknown newspaper stood up to ask, “So what about all the people who claim to be spiritual but NOT religious? Do  they fall under the same category?”

Mr. Sibal appeared to get suddenly excited about the question.

Woah! These people are even more difficult to manage! Not only do they get offended with what is said, they also then double their efforts to force their beliefs upon you! They apparently believe that they have a spiritual obligation to save us all from the ignorant path we have taken! You really do not want to piss off those people for sure! So yes, they do come under this law. Thanks for asking this!

Later in the day Superstar Rajnikanth was asked what he would do if someone offended him. He replied,

Nobody has the balls.

When it comes to football (if you are in America, it is still football – the other game is Hand-Egg), the first tournament everyone talks about (and rightfully so) is the Barclays Premier League or the English Premier League – arguably the best league in the world, both in terms of quality of football AND the popularity. And when you first begin to watch the sport and realize you like it so much that you have begun to watch it week in and week out, you also understand that it is now time for you to pick a club to support. And one of the factors strongly influencing that choice is going to be – your friends circle.

Everyone likes to be accepted in their friends circle and nobody likes to be treated as the odd man out. And so, for the most part, any newcomer to the sport almost inevitably ends up choosing the team his friends have been supporting. This facilitates the newcomer to feel one among the crowd, allowing him to share the SAME feelings as the rest of his group – irrespective of whether the team wins or loses. And really, who doesn’t like to belong to a group with similar interests?

And when it comes to the BPL, there are really only so many teams you can support without subscribing to a higher risk of feeling crappy every weekend. As of today, those teams are Man Utd, Man City, Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool and to some extent Tottenham. Any other team and, as pointed out, you run the risk of feeling depressed every other weekend for the rest of your life. So unless you live in England and near one of those mid-table clubs, or your great great grandfather did, it is highly likely that your friends support one of those few above mentioned clubs. And so will you.

Back in the day when I started watching football regularly (it was early 2003), I was surrounded by people who either supported Arsenal or Manchester United. At that time I tried to find out which club I would perhaps enjoy supporting. During my subsequent conversations with those fans, one thing became fairly clear.

There are many ‘reasons’ that are provided by passionate and over-enthusiastic football fans as to why one should support the club THEY do.

Chelsea FC

If you spoke to a Manchester United fan, you would learn that he supports the club for its ‘rich history’, great players, great culture of ‘winning trophies’ and also because they had the greatest manager in the world – Sir Alex Ferguson. He will also make sure to point out that United is the only valid club to support – again, for the same reasons – and that other clubs have no history whatsoever. And that this fact, for some reason that is never really mentioned, automatically makes ALL other clubs ‘unfit’ to support. And if you look around, you will find every Tom, Dick and Harry mouthing off self righteous praises in favor of United, completely convinced that all other fans are not supporting a ‘real’ club. Oh! And of course, you will also be subjected to that inevitable chant: “Glory Glory Man United!”

Now if you spoke to an Arsenal fan, you would be subjected to this inevitable lecture on how Arsenal plays the best, most entertaining, free flowing, passing football in the league. And that Arsenal is the only club that follows the sacred philosophy of investing and developing youngsters from their teenage and moulding them into world class stars. You would also be told about  a particular Frenchman by name Arsene Wenger and his affinity to get young French teenagers into his squad. You might even get the impression that Arsenal is the proverbial underdog trying to make it big with limited resources. (And in all fairness, it is true to an extent). The Arsenal fan essentially tries to convince you that even though Arsenal does not have the ‘habit’ of winning trophies, it is still the ONLY club fit for supporting because of the way the club is run.

At the end of the day, you have two sets of fans, each supporting either United or Arsenal – and who strongly JUSTIFY why they do so. In all honesty, I haven’t met a single fan so far of either club who has not told me WHY he supports them. And perhaps THAT was the reason I never really developed a liking to either of them. I just could not wrap my head around the idea of having to justify my choice of team to support.

 And so, back in early 2003, I never really liked either team, which meant I took turns deciding which team I hated more – United or Arsenal. (In fact, I clearly recall an event back in my Pre-University years (in 2003) when I was asked to participate in a class march which would feature a flag of our own design. And due to the fact that there were more United fans than Arsenal fans in my class, it was decided that the class flag would more or less resemble the Manchester United symbol. When I got to know about this, I simply refused to participate in the march – as a matter of general principle). But I digress.

Going back to 2003, there was this bunch of young lads just going about their business trying to finish as high as possible in the table. A spot in the Champions League was considered to be the target to aim at. And they calmly secured 4th place and eventually did make it to the UCL. These lads wore blue shirts and shorts and they had never heard of anyone by name Roman Abromovich. And neither had I. They just seemed happy playing their football and to have qualified for the Champions League. These young lads played for Chelsea FC and I was just happy supporting them.

When I was asked why I chose to support Chelsea, I realized I didn’t really have an answer. But then, in just a few months time, I would learn that the answer would be forced down upon me – whether it was true or not. And it probably had to do with a certain Russian going by the name of Abromovich who decided to spend a small fortune in building the club.

Sure, along with a billionaire bank rolling the club came good players, managers and even trophies. But the package also inevitably came with a branding. And the branding said that ALL Chelsea fans were ‘the new breed’ who were in existence only because they have a billionaire bank rolling the club’s finances. And then suddenly I was pushed into the tricky situation of having to JUSTIFY why that was NOT true!

Since then, life as a Chelsea fan has been fairly interesting. The Russian has not left and so hasn’t the branding. Sure Manchester City fans now seem to have taken over the spotlight – but I am still told that I am not supporting a ‘REAL club’! There have been a lot of ups and downs but an eventful ride nonetheless.

In my next post, I intend to write about how it has been since. All the arguments about which club is better – both online and offline- along with all the memorable and forgettable moments I had to go through and the subsequent not-so-amicable ‘conversations’ with fans of other clubs. And also more on the short term and long term consequences of the branding. All that in my next post.

Till then, KTBFFH!

Consider this:

YOU are walking by a busy street in Bangalore and spot two beggars, who are evidently in need of money and help. One is blind and the other is completely weak and malnourished. Of course you do not know the background or history of either of them. All you see are two beggars on a street begging for money.

Your friend next to you asks you, “Do they deserve to be so miserable?” What are YOUR first thoughts?

Consider another scenario:

YOU are glancing through a magazine not really reading any of the stories in depth, when you happen to see the cover story: “Two of the richest women in the country”. You take a look at both the women in it, acknowledge that they have a lot of money and then just move on to a different story. So you are completely unaware of the backgrounds of either of them.

A person sitting next to you asks you, “Wonder if those women deserve all that money?” What are your first thoughts?

Without knowing the background of each of the beggars, the first place your mind goes to is to think that these beggars had at some point made choices that made them deserve their current plight. And without knowing the history of the two women, the first place your mind goes to is that these two women must have made the right choices at some point that made them deserve all the money that they currently had.

THIS rationalization that you just did is what is called as the Just World Fallacy. The tendency of human beings to attribute good outcomes to good actions and bad outcomes to bad actions lies at the heart of this fallacy. We all do it – all the time. We make judgments on how each person deserved what they got or are going to deserve what they WILL get. We want to believe that making good choices in life will result in good outcomes and that making the bad choices is going to result in bad outcomes.

In other words, we want to believe that this world is ‘just’ and ‘fair’ and that whatever goes around comes around. And that ” …you want to believe hard work and virtue will lead to success, and laziness, evil and manipulation will lead to ruin, so you go ahead and edit the world to match those expectations.”  However, our failure to take into account chance and luck into the outcomes of the choices made is a clear demonstration of our own need for a just and fair world. We like to believe that we are in control of our lives – by making the right choices and by not making any bad choices. We do not like the results of our actions to be dependent upon chance. Hence, we embrace the Just World Fallacy.

Lady Of Justice

As much as this appears obvious, leading you to believe that YOU have never fallen prey to it, the truth is likely to be otherwise. This phenomenon is part of being human. So don’t blame yourself if you find you are guilty of it.

Now lets go back to the beggars and the women. You have already worked it out in your head that the beggars must have done something horribly wrong at some point of time to deserve this and that the women too, must have done something right at some point of time to deserve all that money.

Later, you learn about the beggars’ history and life. This is what you learn:

BEGGAR 1: A man bets all his life savings on a cricket match and loses it – all of it. He is bankrupt, cannot feed his family and is eventually deserted by his wife and kids. He becomes an alcoholic, loses his job and his life in general, becomes miserable. He now makes a living begging on the streets.

BEGGAR 2: Another man loses his parents when he was young in a car accident with a truck whose driver was drunk. This led him to be sent to an orphanage where he was a model boy leading a disciplined life. He then becomes a victim of human trafficking and ends up working as a slave to a wealthy man, occasionally molested  during the time. He then has his eyes taken out and is forced into begging. His ‘owners’  leave him to himself after a few years and he has since made a life out of begging on the streets.

Curious about the 2 women, you then decide to read the entire cover story. This is what you learn:

Woman 1: A middle class couple have a girl baby. They bring her up and give her all the education and love they can. She grows up to be an A-grade student at school, topping her class and getting into the best universities. She works hard and lands a well paying job and has now established a company by herself which is doing tremendously well. She is featured on the cover of a popular magazine as one of the richest women in the country.

Woman 2: Another middle class couple have a girl baby at about the same time. She is given a good education as well but she drops out of school and college as she does not make the grades – possibly due to her constant partying and neglect of her academics. She grows up to be a woman with very loose morals,  becomes an alcoholic and eventually gets into prostitution. She does not make any effort to start a new life and continues to make a living out of prostitution. One day she wins a Jackpot at the lottery and goes gambling. She wins all her hands and overnight becomes one of the richest women in the country. She is also featured on the same magazine cover . She now lives in a big mansion with a lot of servants and with her money safely stashed away.

NOW, what are your thoughts?

There are 4 scenarios here, with each scenario being a combination of the kind of choices one makes, and the eventual outcome. The possibilities are fairly evident: Bad choices/bad outcomes (Beggar 1); good choices/bad outcomes (Beggar 2); good choices/good outcomes (Woman 1); bad choices/good outcomes (Woman 2).

Our Just World Fallacy works perfectly well for Beggar 1 and Woman 1. For they both appear to get what they deserved. After all, the Beggar 1 did make the bad choice of betting all his money –  which is clearly a bad choice. And also that Woman 1 worked her way up the society with hard work, discipline and making the most out of what was given to her. On first thoughts, it appears that this is how the world functions and in fact, should function – the good getting rewarded while the bad getting punished.

Now lets get to the tricky part about the other beggar and the other woman.  Now that you are aware of the choices these two have made previously, do you still think they deserved what they got? Do you still want to believe that chance and luck have no bearing on the outcomes and that it is dependent only upon the choices you made?

Maybe deep down inside you know many times it just boils down to dumb luck and chance. But that knowledge doesn’t make you feel good about the world you live in. After all, how can someone who has made no wrong choice in his life end up on the streets as a blind beggar? Or how can someone who has wasted away their life and indulged in immoral activities become one of the richest women in the country?

So how does one explain this glaring anomaly in what we consider a fair and just world? The known causes and effects are not sufficient to explain, justify or rationalize what happened to these 2 people. But the fallacy is so strong that you WANT to believe in it –  no matter what. This is because you believe this world works under the just and fair laws of the entity we have come to refer to as God. And God always makes it right.

So then, how does God make his laws such that the situation with this seemingly unfortunate beggar and seemingly undeserving woman are justified?

Now, for a moment, let us go back in time – a few thousand years ago, when organized religion was still on the horizon and people were still preaching their God and their religion to their people. Now imagine if, during one of these preaching sessions, someone got up and asked the preacher something along these lines: “I have never committed a single misdeed that you have described in your teachings, but I lost my wife and son last week. My neighbor steals, cheats, kills and harasses people, but he is living perfectly well. How is this fair? My only daughter asks me why she lost her mother when she has been a good girl and did everything she was told? What do I tell her?”

Now if you are the preacher, you know that you have been preaching that this is a just and fair world and that God is always just – rewarding the good and punishing the bad. Then how do you explain to this man that what you have been preaching is still right?

Thousands of years ago, the preacher DID come up with an answer. And it was a masterstroke!

The answer comes in the form of Karmic retribution – or simply Karma.

Now do not underestimate the reach of this Karma. Unlike the straight forward manifestations of the JWF, Karma goes out and beyond to enforce it! Karma takes into account not just  the actions of the individual that they have committed in this life. No Sir! The Gods (or maybe just that charming preacher) have realized that, in order to make anomalies like the above two cases appear completely just and fair, Karma has to take into account the actions of the individual in his previous lives too!

Because you see, by including the activities performed by the individual in his previous life as potential ’causes’, one can explain and justify EVERYTHING that has ever occurred on this planet from the beginning of time and forever and ever!

Show me a man who has had the life much akin to Beggar 2, suffering bad outcomes after bad outcomes for absolutely nothing wrong he may have done in this life – and I will show you a religion which tells you that he is suffering because of something bad he must have committed in his previous lives. (Actually you can just look at Hinduism).

Show me a woman who gets rewarded even after having lived a wrongful and immoral life filled with neglect of responsibility  - and I will tell you that she had done something tremendously good in her previous life for her to deserve that sudden change of fortune!

And Karma doesn’t just stop there!

Show me a man who is getting away with crimes against humanity and is still living a luxurious care free life –  and I will tell you that he WILL SUFFER …. albeit in his NEXT life!

Show me a man who is doing all good deeds in this life but not getting rewarded in any way – and I will tell you that he WILL be REWARDED … albeit in his NEXT life!

The fact that the scriptures say you will go to hell if you do not believe this, coupled with the complete inability to know what EXACTLY the individual did in his/her previous life – gives rise to a tremendous masterstroke!

You now have an explanation for every seeming violation of God’s ‘just and fair’ laws while at the same time, there is no way that non-believers can disprove this – as the burden of proof (of choices in previous lives) is thrown upon the shoulders of the non-believers!

The preacher had told the skeptic: “You prove to me that your actions in the previous lives DO NOT affect your present outcomes and I will take back what I said. I believe that it does because God said so. And I believe in everything God says!”

To which the skeptic said, “Ok preacher. I believe in God now too. Because if I don’t, I might go to hell.”

So you see, the idea of Karma is a masterstroke. There is no way of disproving it for those who do not believe in it. And for those who do, well, there IS NO necessity for proof!

And so the world goes on, with people attributing every seeming violation of a just world law of God to some action the individual must have done in his previous lives. They convince themselves that he/she deserved whatever they got because God is only giving out justice by making them suffer!

Truly, what a sick world we live in….

In Part 2, I will be writing about this seemingly simple board game I recently came across called “Sorry!” and how the board game is a perfect allegory for what happens to us in our lives – and about how we get it wrong again with Karma.

Today, I would like to reveal to the whole world that I suffer from a short term memory loss condition. I have been having memory losses ever since the first European club became interested in me.

Neymar trying to Remember

Neymar has been scouted by all the big names in European football over the past couple of years. During all that interest, Neymar has repeatedly heated up discussion and gossip among the transfer rumors by declaring his interest to play for a particular club. The only problem was that that particular club kept changing every few months.

Initially it was thought that Manchester City had secured first refusal over Neymar, but that did not materialize into anything. However, what it did do was to act as the trigger for his condition. After City’s apparent first refusal scenario, Neymar simply could not remember what he had said previously. He elaborated about this in the press conference:

Around the time Manchester City got first refusal over me, I got to know that European clubs were really interested in me. It was around that time that I began to have lapses in my memory. I could not recollect what I had said in the press conferences about my preferred club.

This appears to shed some much needed light over the continued changing of his ‘preferred club’ in the past couple of years.

In November 2010, Neymar had vividly declared his love for Italian giants Juventus:

The proposal that I like most is that from Juventus. They have great worldwide appeal. Inter have prestige. Ronaldo played there and he is one of my idols, but I prefer Juventus. I say this without problems – I’d willingly wear the Bianconeri jersey.

Such strong words got the transfer mill buzzing and all Juventini to fantasize about the possibility of seeing Neymar wear the Old Lady’s jersey.

However, in a few months’ time, Neymar appeared to be wanting to play for Chelsea:

Chelsea’s a great club. It’s a dream of every player to play at Chelsea. If one day it happens, I will be very happy to come

He once even got Arsenal fans excited when he said (about the Emirates Stadium),

…the stadium is great; the pitch is too. The [English] weather I don’t like all that much, but I could get used to it.

In his press conference after signing a new deal with Santos, Neymar said he does not recollect making any such statements.

I told you I do not remember anything! I might have said all that because I did not remember which club I was interested in. Sometimes I might have even forgotten which club I was playing for!

Neymar had also made many statements declaring his love for both Real Madrid AND Barcelona calling them  the greatest football clubs ever. His move to Real Madrid appeared to  be getting closer and even looked like a done deal with reports all over the world claiming that Real Madrid had signed him for 60 mil Euros. 

On that news item, Neymar provided some clarifications in his press conference:

It appears that I might have agreed a deal in principle with Madrid last week. But then I totally forgot about it and seeing that I had no recollection of the agreement, Santos might have made me sign an extension in order for me to stay here. But honestly, I cannot remember any of it so it is very possible.

The betting world is going bonkers over which club Neymar is likely to declare his interest for next. The bookies believe he will go in a totally different direction and say that PSG is his new interest.

It has to be seen if and when Neymar joins any club at all or if Santos will continue to trick  him to sign contract extensions.

“It is imperative that I find the right players who will fit into my system of playing. I am ready to spend $30-40 million if I find the right player. The fans want someone who is experienced and proven. So we have been looking for the right player, who is also experienced and proven,  for about 10 years now but with not much success.  We will continue to look for these players because otherwise there is no point in spending money on players without quality.”

Arsene Wenger knows what he wants.

Arsene Wenger, it must be noted, has been looking to strengthen his squad since the 2010-11 season that started the downfall of the club. In spite of selling Fabregas and Nasri for a sum close to $70 million, Arsene Wenger did not make any purchases that summer which eventually lead to the team finishing a dismal 10th in the league. It should be noted that Arsenal are still yet to win a trophy since the FA Cup all those years back in 2005.  After the 8-2 drubbing at Old Trafford towards the end of that transfer window, Arsene Wenger had maintained his intention to spend money only on the ‘right player.’ Though he did bid for many quality players in this time, all his bids were in the range of $ 5-12 million, which does not seem to have worked even once so far. It appears that Mr. Wenger is a very strong willed human being as he continues to believe in that philosophy to this day.

Ever since Cesc Fabregas and Samir Nasri left the club for greener pastures (read more trophy winning probabilities), there has been a steady outflux of budding stars in their early twenties heading out to different clubs every year. All of them appeared to have developed the intention and desire to win trophies at some stage in their Arsenal career and refused to sign contract extensions, thus forcing Wenger to sell them.

The list of people who have left the Arsenal ranks, since 2010, after spending their teenage years under the tutelage of Arsene Wenger is pretty impressive. Theo Walcott, Van Persie, Alex Song are among many others who have left the club in the past 10 years. In fact, players like Carl Jenkinson, Jack Wilshere, Frimpong etc, who were just in their late teens and still learning the nuances of the game then, developed into star players under Arsene Wenger. They also left the club after they realized themselves that they were star players.

In all those years, Arsene Wenger continued to spend money on young teenage strikers and groomed them to become star forwards. As of July 2020, Arsene Wenger has signed a total of 58 teenage strikers since that 2010-11 season. 54 of these strikers have now matured into world class strikers and attacking midfielders and have moved on to different clubs and have won many trophies. Of the grand total of 4 defenders he had signed in the same period, all of them have left the club. Arsene Wenger has not signed a single goalkeeper in that same period. Wojciech Szczęsny continues to be the first choice goalkeeper today.

There have been a few significant consequences due to this continuing phenomenon at Arsenal FC.

First of all, Arsene Wenger was awarded a special Lifetime achievement award by UEFA for “spotting and nurturing young talent and then grooming them to become world class stars.” Michel Platini (yes, he is still the UEFA President), the UEFA President, had awarded the trophy to Wenger in a special ceremony that also felicitated Sir Alex Ferguson with the “Manager-who-has-served-at-a-single-club-so-long-that-nobody-remembers-when-he-first-started” award. Arsene Wenger accepted the award declaring his desire to continue running the club exactly the same way in the future too.

Secondly, Arsenal FC has been awarded the title of the Best Feeder Club in the history of Club Football. This award was constituted by all the teams who have directly benefitted from the continuous supply of world class players coming out of Arsenal with a desire to win trophies. A complete list of the teams essentially includes all trophy winning teams in the past 10 years from England, Germany, Italy, Spain and France. It should be noted that some of the Arsenal players left the club to join Championship clubs, Segunda division or Serie B clubs in order to win trophies. All have been successful.

Thirdly, Arsene Wenger recently declared that, as a result of continued selling over the past decade, his available transfer budget currently stands at about $ 780 million. As revealed earlier, he has made many bids in the range of $5-12 million for what he considers as quality players, but none of them have been successful. In fact, on the few occasions that Mr. Wenger has indeed bid in excess of $30 million for players, all the players immediately signed a contract extension with their club as they believed that they had a better chance to win trophies at their own clubs than at Arsenal.

Later in the day, when Mr. Wenger was talking to reporters, he was asked what exactly constituted his ‘right player’. He responded:

“You see its not just about the ability of the player to adapt to and understand my style of playing. He also needs to have the right attitude. For instance, I cannot spend money on players who want to come to Arsenal to win trophies. That is out of the question. That is why I sign a lot of teenagers – because they do not yet have a sense of success with trophies. I get to groom them to stay that way so that they  stick around when they become star players. But nowadays, they somehow get to know about winning trophies and want to leave the club.”

“So you see, I am ready to spend a lot of money on players who are good, experienced and more importantly, should not have won any trophies before and should have no intention and ambition whatsoever of winning trophies in the future. Arsenal FC is not a club that aims to win trophies. We just try to play beautiful flowing football. Our fans have understood that perfectly well and have stuck behind us all these years. We are not worried about our fans. They will continue to support us. So right now, we are still looking for that ‘right player’ who satisfies all these criteria. I am sure we will find him someday.”

]]> http://arbitblogs.wordpress.com/2011/08/28/news-from-2020-arsene-wenger-still-unable-to-find-right-player-to-buy/feed/ 0 Akshay N R Arsene Wenger http://arbitblogs.wordpress.com/2011/08/20/breaking-news-unknown-liberal-thinking-youth-begins-fast-unto-death-to-oppose-lokpal-bill/ http://arbitblogs.wordpress.com/2011/08/20/breaking-news-unknown-liberal-thinking-youth-begins-fast-unto-death-to-oppose-lokpal-bill/#comments Sat, 20 Aug 2011 19:02:11 +0000 Akshay N R http://arbitblogs.wordpress.com/?p=686 ]]> In a sensational and completely unexpected development, Alok Kumar, an unknown liberal thinking youth from Bangalore began his fast-unto-death OPPOSING Anna Hazare’s Lokpal Bill. The news of his fast, however, came out only after he had already entered the 2nd day as not many people knew him in the first place. In spite of the delayed discovery, people from all over the city are paying him a visit  just to see why somebody would do something as strange as this when the entire country seemed to be protesting WITH Anna Hazare.

When quizzed by curious and bewildered reporters as to why he was fasting to OPPOSE the LokPal, a visibly weak and tired Alok managed to respond, “People don’t seem to understand what exactly is happening here. Everybody is under the misconception that creating this Lok Pal will solve all corruption problems. But what they don’t realize is that it is a big risk to give so much power to one institution and hope that it does its job.”

Anna Hazare making a point

Alok’s point of view, he said, was inspired by reading many articles online by bloggers, columnists and authors who he considers as “liberal thinkers.”

“These are the people who have influenced my thinking. These people have the courage to go against popular opinion. They are not afraid to write on their blogs and websites about things which the majority of the population would disagree with. One should really read their articles and consider their points of view. It will help people to think in a more sensible and liberal way. “

Alok managed to give links to a few of the websites and blogs he was reading that he said were influencing him. (This, this, this, this and this) He also elaborated about his actual objective of fasting.

“I am right now doing a fast-unto-death primarily to stop the Lokpal bill from going through to become a law. We simply cannot have an all powerful organization dictating this country’s fate. If the Government yields to Anna’s demands, then I will continue to fast until I am actually dead.”

It appears that, with Anna beginning his fast a couple of days back, the country is witnessing its first ever Fast-unto-death Off! On one hand, we have a widely popular Gandhian who has been fighting for this bill to go through for many months and on the other hand, we have a relatively unknown new generation liberal thinker who is fasting to protest the very idea behind the bill. This is an extremely unique situation and curiosity is building as to how this is likely to all pan out. Is Alok going to get enough attention to make his fast actually count? Will people take notice of what Alok is doing and recall the bill? Or will Anna Hazare, with his Gandhian ideals and populist base, out-fast Alok and get his demands met?

This brings us to another interesting question. When is one considered to have ‘out-fasted’ the other? Is it considered a victory for the survivor if the other person dies out of hunger? Or is it considered a victory for the deceased as it gives him martyrdom prior to the fate of the survivor? Who will be  considered as the morally more right person? The person who dies first or the person who survives to fast another day?

[Even as this piece is being written, the writer has learnt that Arnab Boguswami has already called in a debate panel to discuss (read force-his-own-opinion-on-everyone) the nuances of what appears to be a moral paradox. ]

When confronted with this dilemma, Alok carefully considered the argument and said, “Honestly, I do not know. We will just have to wait and see till one of us dies I suppose. In either case, Anna Hazare holds the cards because he has a lot of practice fasting. He has been doing that for years now. I am sure he has been putting in a lot of fasting days in order to be on top of his game for this current fast. On the other hand, I will have to make do with absolutely zero fasting practice. I might very well be the one to die first. Lets see.”

Many of the curious youth who have gathered outside his house to see what the fuss is all about admitted to now being terribly confused. Shyam Prasad, one of the onlookers who knew what was happening said, “I really don’t know what to think honestly. We the people have always supported people’s agenda when they have resorted to fasting to get their demands met. Whenever someone decides to fast, it is usually for some very noble reason. That is why we supported Anna. Now there is this Alok who also fully believes in his point of view that the Lok Pal will do more harm than good for the country. And so I am confused which side to take.”

It also appears that the social networking websites have caught scent of Alok’s hunger strike and is apparently making waves in it. One of the onlookers outside Alok’s house, Ram, said he was posting updates on his Facebook and Twitter profile telling all his friends about this new development. “I want to do my bit for the country. That is why I am conveying this important development to all my friends through Facebook and Twitter. I am fairly confident we can get Alok trending on Twitter in a short while. I have asked all my friends to RT my tweet about Alok. One of my friends already said that he will start an online petition to create more awareness and support for Alok” he said. Asked whether he believed in what Alok was fasting for, Ram replied, “I don’t really know the exact reason why he is doing it. But if somebody is fasting, there must be a very noble reason behind it. We supported Annaji when he fasted. We should not treat Alok any differently.”

In an even more sensational development later in the day, Gautham Nayar, another unknown youth – this time from Mumbai- has also started fasting! But this young man is now fasting not to oppose or support the Lokpal bill. In fact, this youth appears to be fasting in protest of Alok Kumar going on a fast!

“This is ridiculous!” Gautham said. “How can somebody just decide to have a certain opinion about something just because they read a good argument on some blog? People like Alok Kumar need to look at both sides of the story to see what exactly is happening. Beginning to fast before that is like using the Jump-to-conclusions mat. You just conclude the same as whatever argument you end up reading.”

Gautham admits that he hasn’t read the Lokpal bill and so does not know where he stands on it. “Once I read it I will know exactly where I stand. But so far, all I have read are the articles that criticize the Lokpal bill and Anna’s method of getting this done. And I can tell you this. What they have to say really forms a very persuasive argument. They have a lot of points which raise some serious concerns about the subtleties of the bill. People, the youth mainly,  read these cogent arguments on all these blogs and websites and immediately conclude that this bill is a recipe for disaster.”

When asked to elaborate, he said, “One of the points that the writers make criticizing the whole support behind Anna Hazare is that for the most part, none of the supporters have actually read the bill, yet they voice unconditional support to it. And this is truly a serious concern. However, what I want to point out is this. There are many people who have read these critiques and framed their opinion based on that. Now, how many of THESE people have actually read the bill before deciding that it is set for doom? For all you know, what one may read in these blogs and websites may as well be a clear case of Confirmation Bias. For every point that these critics bring out which appears to spell doom, there is likely to be one which streamlines and expedites the way corruption is handled. But these writers may have consciously or sub-consciously ignored to include those bits in their critiques just to prove their pre-conceived point.”

“The large base of support for Anna Hazare and the Lokpal bill may be largely ignorant about the nuances of the bill. But the small percentage of the population who seem to feel superior to the rest for going against the stream are not doing any better either. They feel smug about having this opinion as it goes against the popular voice. And with the general perception that going against the stream is a cool thing to do, these youth appear to be jumping to conclusions without sufficient basis. All those who seem to think they know better than the others about the bill just because they have read some well written critiques of the bill online are nothing more than self righteous hypocrites, because all they themselves know about the bill  are just these small pieces that only serve to prove their point.”

Jump to Conclusions Mat (courtesy Office Space)

While Gautham was making all these points about why people should read the bill before framing an opinion, this reporter was still trying to figure out if Gautham was fasting in support of the bill or to oppose it. When confronted with the dilemma, Gautham responded, “I am not fasting for the bill at all. I am fasting to get Alok Kumar to stop fasting and actually read the damn bill! I am fasting to make everybody, both who support the bill and those who don’t, to actually READ and get to know exactly about what they are feeling so strongly.”

This reporter was still not satisfied as he wanted Gautham to take a clear black and white stand. He felt it was not good for journalism to run a story wherein there was no story of a person who had a passionate bias towards or against something. So Gautham was asked if he was against all these critics who write online. To this, Gautham replied, “Absolutely not. We need such critics who can show us one side of the story and it also helps the case for freedom of expression. However, looking at the bigger picture, these critics do not serve any real purpose at the end of the day.”

Hoping that Gautham was going to take a clear stand against something, the reporter asked him to elaborate on that. Gautham, who was getting more tired by explaining everything to this reporter than by his hunger, managed to go on.

“You have to look at what is happening. On one hand we have Anna Hazare, who, in his own (perhaps questionable) ways, is trying to help the country by helping the corruption issue. And he is actually getting something done here. There has never been such widespread protests against corruption in a long long time and he was pivotal in initiating it. He is helping (again, in his own ways) to frame a Lokpal bill which is not just an eyewash from the Govt. It may not be the perfect solution to the corruption issue. But if it wasn’t any effective at all, there perhaps wouldn’t be such hue and cry from the Govt opposing it and trying to make it an eyewash. This will go at least some distance in doing something against corruption.”

“On the other hand, we have these critics. They sit in their office or home chairs, comfortable, searching for new and important developments in the country. They read about it, think about it and then frame their own opinion and point of view about the situation. They are able to understand the nuances and subtleties of the situation, which would otherwise be easily overlooked. They are then able to articulate these ideas and messages very well in a coherent manner in their websites, blogs or columns. Many of these points of view go against popular voice and when other youth read this critique, they frame their opinion based on what these writers have conveyed. These writers and critics may have a lot of very valid points concerning the situation at hand and they may want to communicate these ideas to the general public so that they are aware of what is happening.”

“But in the end, none of this translates to any tangible action. All that transpires out of them writing about critical issues, either in favor or against, online and a whole bunch of youth reading it to frame an opinion is that they write about critical stuff and a whole bunch of youth frame their opinion based on that. Nothing else ever happens. Everybody involved in this online process wants to be in their comfort zone in front of a laptop and think. And they feel good about it and believe that it is a job well done. There is nothing actionable that ever comes out of these things. You have to ask yourself. At the end of the day, what is all this critique and writing, if nothing more than just pointless intellectual masturbation?”

This reporter finally felt he had a quote. And immediately left Gautham’s house.

After the news of Gautham’s fasting became public, the news media went hysterical. And retarded. Actually make that MORE retarded. Arnab Boguswami lost his ability to think while thinking about who among the 3 was the one he was to support in the upcoming force-my-opinion-down-your-throat show. It is understood that his IQ was so low that he could not even initially comprehend what was happening and who was doing what. And then when someone explained the whole moral ambiguity involved, he just lost his (diminished) ability to think.

Popular blogger Amit Varma, who writes on the India Uncut blog, responded to what Gautham had to say. “I don’t understand why Gautham is getting all upset about us criticizing the bill. This is about freedom of expression and criticism. That being said, I really need to get back to blogging. You know I used to write a lot before. Almost 4-5 posts daily. I myself do not know where I go nowadays. Someday I will keep my word when I say I will be blogging more regularly. Oh by the way, that is not a promise.”

The cops on the other hand held an hour long meeting and, after realizing that this involves too much thinking,  have decided to turn a blind eye to all these fasts. Local circle inspectors of both places were too busy to be bothered with ideas such as moral ambiguity and paradox. One of them said, “I have not received any orders to detain him. And moreover, I really do not know what is lawful and what is not anymore. So please wait till somebody higher up gives me an order for something.”

]]> http://arbitblogs.wordpress.com/2011/08/20/breaking-news-unknown-liberal-thinking-youth-begins-fast-unto-death-to-oppose-lokpal-bill/feed/ 3 Akshay N R Anna hazare Jump to conclusions http://arbitblogs.wordpress.com/2011/08/14/beautiful-missouri-a-3-day-photography-journey/ http://arbitblogs.wordpress.com/2011/08/14/beautiful-missouri-a-3-day-photography-journey/#comments Sun, 14 Aug 2011 15:22:11 +0000 Akshay N R http://arbitblogs.wordpress.com/?p=682 ]]> Note: This (really long) blog post is about my trip to Missouri and the writing is primarily centered around my photography with a fair bit about my experience there as well. All photos here are not modified in any way. I personally consider it unethical to do so. You can see all my photos from the vacation in high res here. 

So I went on a vacation. I had worked for 15 days straight without a break – partly by choice and partly by force. And I was looking forward to some travelling and photography. Fortunately or unfortunately, nobody I know of shares my flexible work schedule – which meant that I had to go on my vacation alone. I had done it once before on a 1 day 800 mile trip to Minneapolis (and back) via a long detour on Highway 61. And I did not mind doing it again. Also, I needed complete freedom to spend any amount of time to my liking taking photographs. So I packed my gear and set off. My equipment involved a Nikon D3100 camera, 18-55mm and 55-200mm VR lenses, Omega Tripod, 1 UV filter, 1 ND filter and 1 Polarizing filter.

I was initially deciding between North western Nebraska (and surrounding) – which housed The Jewel Caves, the Devil’s Tower, Mt. Rushmore and the Chimney Tower- and Missouri – which housed Lake of the Ozarks, Mark Twain National Forest, Ozarks National Scenic Riverways and Meramec Caverns. I realized I only had resources for a 3 day and 2 night trip. So I chose the latter.

DAY 1:

I left Des Moines, Iowa at about 0730 hrs. My GPS was set to the Lake of the Ozarks as the first day destination and immediately, it suggested the fastest route to be taking the Interstate. But that was not my intention. An alternate route suggestion on the GPS involved going through US highways and some county roads down right through the center of Missouri. That sounded good and I hit the gas.

The drive was initially non descript. The sun was already getting on its bright yellow and heading into the white. And for those unfamiliar with the Iowa landscape, this meant that there was absolutely nothing to admire on the flatlands that zipped by endlessly on either side of the road. The road took me east for a while till Ottumwa and through it I turned South to Missouri.

 Following US 63 S into MO, the contrast in the landscape between Iowa and Missouri was hard to miss. I am not exaggerating here. But there was about maybe 10-15 miles of grey area on either side of the border. But apart from that, it was all flat and completely barren on the Iowa side and rolling green hills on the Missouri side! My guess is the topography was the deciding factor while drawing the border!

The road took me through a few Amish settlements. Spotted quite a few Amish horse drawn carts and the stereotypical long bearded Amish men.  The road also made me narrowly avoid a totally drunk red neck who was trying extremely hard to figure out which side of the road he was supposed to be driving on.

I cannot term the road to be scenic. It was peaceful and easy at best. I was on cruise control for the most part and the traffic was light. I reached Lake of the Ozarks by about 1330 hrs and headed straight to the welcome center where an old man showed me all the places to go to find a good view. The sun was beating down at that time and though the welcome center offered a neat panoramic view of the lake, I did not fancy getting any great shots in that light. It was definitely more than 100⁰ F in heat index but in spite of it, I spent about half an hour trying to get a few good compositions to make up for the bad light. I changed my lens from the 18-55mm to the 55-200mm and presently, a bunch of people started parasailing and boating in my direction. That, with the buildings on the other side of the lake serving as the backdrop, did the trick. In the end, I did get a few half decent shots and a couple of good ones as well (thanks partly to my new polarizing filter).

Parasailing on the Ozarks: f/20, 1/20 s , ISO-100

I drove around a few places there for about an hour or two and did find a few good spots to get good views of the lake and the few buildings adorning its shoreline. But at 1530, the light was at its worst and no subject would have looked good in that light. So I found a small bar and downed a couple of Sam Adams beers with my lunch.

I had a map of the lake which showed all the tourist and scenic points. The Lake of the Ozarks is a significantly large lake which snakes its way through a few cities generating more than a few bends and turns. There were a couple of public beaches that got me interested and so I decided to check them out. One of them, (in the photo) offered a good swimming area and lay between 2 forests/hills. The sun was setting in the direction directly facing the beach which meant I could not take any useful photos of the other side. So I went for a swim and just hung around in the water for a while till the light started showing signs of the rich golden yellow every photographer yearns for. So I quickly got setup and took a few shots of the beach side with the sun angling its golden rays on the beach and the trees. Unfortunately, I still could not shoot the other side and I knew I had to come back early in the morning to do it.

Beach at the Lake of Ozarks: f/7.1, 1/30 s, ISO-100

By about 0800, I knew it was time to get to a good spot to shoot the sunset. The sun was already getting into its orange self and I was running out of time. I was frantically searching for a half decent spot to setup my camera and I eventually turned to a parking lot and got setup just in time to take a few good shots of the sun setting. I suppose I could have done a better job if I had gotten setup a bit early but I was fairly satisfied with the result. However, it was only after the sun had set that I found that I had got my tripod setup right next to garbage bin!

Sunset over the Lake of Ozarks : f/14, 1/25 s

DAY 2:

I narrowly missed capturing the sunrise the following morning, thanks largely to not waking up early enough. I immediately headed out to the public beach I had been to the previous evening and found a welcome sight of the sun angling its golden beam on the other side of the beach. I was able to get a few good shots, but I have to admit it was only the light that made the photos look good in the absence of any useful subject. So I headed out to some of the view points of the lake which I had missed out the previous day and found a few nice compositions. The photo below seemed to perfectly capture the quiet of the early morning at a nearby boating center.

Quiet of the Early Morning: f/11, 1/30s, ISO-100

I headed out to Big Springs at about 1000 and reached it in about 3 hrs time. Big Springs is a place near Van Bruner in central Missouri. It houses Big Spring, which as the name suggests, is a big spring. Not in terms of area of the spring waters, but in terms of the rate of water gushing out. It ranks as one of the largest in the world in this aspect. It is situated right next to the Current river (which it eventually flows into) which is more popular as part of the Ozark National Scenic Riverway. What this means is that this river flows through some very scenic spots (usually between two tree covered hills) and flows at a very slow pace and is largely shallow. And by shallow I mean anywhere between 0.5’-5’. All this makes it very conducive for activities such as kayaking, tubing, canoeing and boating. So I decided to go tubing along the Current river for about 3 hrs.

The route took me through some really scenic and picturesque views. The water was bluish green all the way through and you could see the river bed all along the way. Unfortunately, I could not take my camera with me as it was not water proof. I missed out on a few very good shots in the process. Sitting in my tube and drifting along the river while taking in the beautiful scenery passing by for about 3 hours, however, pretty much gave me all the relaxation I needed. I suppose it could have been a better experience doing that with some good company but it was not to be.

Also, be aware. Alcohol consumption during the 3 hr drifting can sound like an appropriate thing to do. But do think of the part wherein you are stuck in a tube all the time without any opportunity to access a restroom. (Do I speak from experience?) Also of note is one lesson I learnt about the waters the almost hard way. Never under estimate the current of the water. It may look like it is just floating harmlessly but trust me when I say that you simply CANNOT assume you are going to be safe.

The only disappointing part about the tubing was that it ate into the sunset time. I was told of a really good spot to capture the sunset and I quickly set out to find it. After a bit of driving roundabout, I reached the spot. The spot was everything one can hope for to capture a good sunset or sunrise. Mountains and hills rolling all the way to the horizon with no trees or other obstacles blocking the view. A couple of houses below the viewing area that could serve as foreground subjects. And directly facing west. And I was too late.

I honest to god, had a strong urge to take a gun and blow my brains out to have missed what could have been the most beautiful sunset. I kept cursing myself to no end for having gone tubing the past few hours. I just could not believe I had missed it. The light was already fading and was almost gone. I could see the faint orange of the sky barely hanging over the horizon and I knew I had very little time to do anything at all. So I tried to capture a silhouette of my car with the twilight sky over the horizon as the backdrop. However, there was a lot of reflected light coming from behind me which made it impossible to get a perfect silhouette, irrespective of how much I tuned down my exposure. In the end, this was what I was able to get. Not a bad shot I would say, but could have been so much better.

Post sunset over Mark Twain National Forest: f/11, 1/4 s, ISO-100

I headed back to my cabin in the middle of the forest. Spending the night in a cabin amidst the wilderness of the forest was an experience I had missed for a very long time. So was reading a good book. And so I finished half of Fahrenheit 451 that night sitting in that cabin in the middle of nowhere. I was particularly happy that there was no internet service in that cabin. Else, I would have found a strong urge to post to my Facebook and Twitter accounts about my whereabouts and plans, all the while missing out on just enjoying the peace of the forest.

Cabin in the middle of nowhere: f/4, 2.5 s, ISO-400

DAY 3

I woke up pretty early the next day to ensure I didn’t miss out on another sunrise. A map of the forest area indicated that there were a few hiking trails which led to a few viewpoints. So I decided to check out the ones which faced east. After a not so long and not so hard hike, I settled on 2-3 viewing spots with the Current river running below me. I setup my tripod and camera and waited for the sun to come out. Unfortunately, the viewpoint was not as elevated as I had hoped it would be. It made me miss the mellow orange of the sun emerging out of the distant horizon. Instead, I caught the sun coming out of the hills in front of me during its transition to the delicate yellow. It was still beautiful and I set about capturing the sunrise from different viewpoints. I caught a few silhouettes this time – mainly of trees and leaves. This one shot made me stop and think for a while. The leaves appear to be tendering to the sun in its innocuous infancy, nurturing it to rise further in the sky, blissfully oblivious to how harsh and ravaging the sun was to become in just a few hours time.

Sunrise over Mark Twain National Forest: f/11, 1/800 s, ISO-100

I took a few more shots of the place, one of them capturing the waters arising out of the Big Spring joining and losing its identity to the waters of the Current river. After being satisfied with the quality of shots of the sunrise, I headed to the Big Spring itself. I had no idea how it would be and how good the light would be there.  I had not seen any pictures of it online and did not know what to expect. But when I did arrive at the Big Spring, what I saw simply took my breath away.

The water was pristine blue. The spring was gushing out water relentlessly as if it was on a never ending mission. The sun bestowed its golden rays angled directly on the spring. Beautiful color, a captive subject and golden light. It was a photographer’s paradise!

I do not know how many photos I ended up taking but it must have been about 150. I know I spent close to 2 hours there and I do not remember pausing from taking photos of the place. So much so, I never really just sat and enjoyed the view.

Big Spring, the First Sight: f/10, 1/6 s, ISO-100

I was all alone, and for those 2 hours, the entire world outside of me, my camera and the spring ceased to exist. The light and the color was so overwhelming that I took photographs from all possible angles with all reasonable combinations of exposure. The first shot I took was that of the sight that greeted me. The water was gushing out of the spring extremely rapidly and in large volumes. And I knew THAT was what sparked the life in that scene. And so I did a slightly longer exposure of the scene in order to capture the motion of the water gushing out of the spring. The sun beams were angling in on the spring waters, lighting it up even more. The result was one of the best photographs I have taken so far.

But perhaps the best photograph of my entire trip was still to come. I went around the spring, now with the sunlight coming from behind me. And what I saw, was not only simply unbelievable but also completely invisible from my previous spot. Maybe it was the direction of the light or the direction in which I was viewing the light that made the difference. But standing on the other side of the spring and viewing it in the direction of the light, I was convinced that the light was playing some kind of a trick on my eyes. It was no mirage or illusion. It was just too good to be just another sunlight pattern. What I saw was a well of sunlight angling in from both ends of the spring, circling (or was it an ellipse) the spring waters and converging exactly at the point where the water was coming out. The sun light was dancing on the waters, without moving an inch. That sight was, for the lack of a better word, orgasmic.

Tricks of the Light: The most beautiful thing I had ever seen: f/14, 1/5 s, ISO-100

A few years back, I might have been able to come up with a mathematical term for the exact shape the sun rays formed.  Do leave a comment if you can now. I must have spent some half an hour taking photographs of that sight. And trust me when I say I just couldn’t get enough of it.

I eventually came around to take some self portraits. If I ever have to put up a profile pic on a matrimonial website in the future, I think I know which one is going up there. The spring water behind me makes me look a thousand times better. (I am betting on the girl falling for it).

Me at Big Springs: f/13, 1/4 s, ISO-100

In due time, the sun had risen far up in the sky and in spite of the spring still looking beautiful, I knew I had to leave. Next on the agenda was a drive through Mark Twain National forest to Meramec Caverns near St. Louis.

It must have taken me all of 3 hours. But how those hours zipped by. It felt like the shortest 3 hr drive I had ever done. And I thoroughly enjoyed it for more than one reason. First up, I switched off my GPS. I had decided to use a map. I actually sat down and marked my route to the caves through a pen on the map and wrote down the roads on a sheet of paper. My objective was to maximize the drive through the forest area. So I avoided all US highways and deliberately chose county roads going through the forests. And eventually, when I started driving, I realized I was enjoying it more than ever primarily because I was a lot more involved in what I was doing. I was taking in the scenery without glancing every 3 mins at the GPS to see how far was the next turn. I was more observant of the road and the drive as I was making sure I did not miss any turns. And it was a really satisfying feeling doing that. It was the same feeling I get when I read a book holding it in my hand instead of reading it on the computer, or when I go play football outside with my friends instead of on my computer.

The drive was scenic to say the least. It was filled with twists and turns and was by no means easy. It was not a drive you could do on cruise control. A two lane road for the most part, it cut through the dense forest areas, climbing and descending alternately. It is not a drive where you stop at a scenic view point and take photographs. There are no such viewpoints all along the way, even though the whole drive was set in beautiful surroundings. If anything, the route was particularly lacking in that department. But it was not meant to be that drive anyway. So I drove through it, without stopping once. I didn’t need to. With Pink Floyd’s Echoes playing in the car, driving through Mark Twain National forest was a surreal experience just in itself. And I hope to do it once more in the fall.

When I eventually got to Meramec caverns, the sun was blazing. I went to the caves with high expectations from what people told me about it. But in the end, it turned out to be the  biggest disappointment of the entire tour. For the most part, the caves was nothing out of the ordinary. Actually, there really wasn’t ANYTHING out of the ordinary there. I took just one shot of note, and that was almost by accident too. Do you spot a face in this photograph? I am thinking Iron Maiden’s Eddie in one of its various forms.

Eddie at the Meramec : f /7.1, 1.3 s, ISO-400

And then at around 1600 I headed back to Des Moines, this time making deliberate effort to take the interstate and US highways. I drove through the city of Hannibal in MO, and if I had more time then, I would have stopped and looked around. I was told it was a beautiful small city. Perhaps some other time. When I eventually entered Iowa, it was just about time for sunset. With the sun’s golden rays peeking through the storm clouds that were rapidly building up, the flatlands that zipped by endlessly, again, looked particularly enchanting. I realized I was headed straight into what appeared to be a massive storm. But the best part about it was that I got to see the most spectacular lightning ever all the way to Des Moines. I had half a mind to stop the car on the freeway and setup my tripod to capture the lightning. It would have been an easy shot, with a simple long exposure, and it would have been a spectacular one too. But alas, I guess I just didn’t do it. Some other time for sure.

I eventually reached Des Moines at around 1030 and was pretty tired. And so after 3 days of awesome vacationing in the beautiful state of Missouri, I was convinced once more of the strategic position Iowa was in the United States. A lot of places to see and visit around it. Just nothing IN it!

]]> http://arbitblogs.wordpress.com/2011/08/14/beautiful-missouri-a-3-day-photography-journey/feed/ 1 Akshay N R Parasailing on the Ozarks Beach at the Lake Sunset Boating Post Sunset Cabin Sunrise Big Spring Tricks Me Eddie at the Meremac Caverns http://arbitblogs.wordpress.com/2011/06/26/when-it-happens/ http://arbitblogs.wordpress.com/2011/06/26/when-it-happens/#comments Sun, 26 Jun 2011 23:47:48 +0000 Akshay N R http://arbitblogs.wordpress.com/?p=672 ]]> Warning: This post contains stuff which may not exactly be kids’ material. I guess I am crossing a line here. But you decide that. You may also want to read this before you read further. And just so everyone knows, I am NOT married. 

Neeraj began to reflect on his life so far. 28 years. That was how long it had taken him to get to where he was right now. He knew that number was far less in other countries. In a few moments time, it would begin. He thought about all the times he had fantasized this very moment. About what he would do. About whom he would be with. And there he was. His marriage had taken place a few hours earlier. This was his First Night.

It had been about 3 months since he said Yes to his parents regarding the girl. And now he was waiting for her. He had no idea when she was expected to enter the room, carrying that clichéd glass of milk in her hands. So he just sat there and looked at himself in the mirror. Donning a dhothi and a shirt purchased specifically for this occasion, he was told by his friends that he was looking smart. One of them had even gone further and told him that he was looking sexy. It had made him blush. But that was then. Right now, looking at himself in the mirror, it was hard to miss the nervousness in his eyes, and he immediately looked away. All the short time that he had been waiting, there were a million thoughts that had gone through his head.

This was definitely NOT the way his fantasies had panned out. Excitement, desire, lust, love and satisfaction -  these had made their presence felt in his fantasies in varying degrees. But right now, in that room, he could only sense them on the periphery of his emotion. He tried to deny it, but he knew what he was feeling all along. He had felt it before -  before every examination he had written and before every presentation he had given. It was Fear. Fear and nervousness. And he was about to panic.

The past week, Neeraj was frequently involved in a few specific activities, which during any other time, he would have considered lame. It was embarrassing but he had realized that he did not really have any other option. Studying in an engineering college  where the male to female ratio was a fact worth ignoring  had made it practically impossible for him to get a girl friend. Growing up in a society that had looked upon sex as a taboo had not really helped matters either. Simply put, one week prior to his marriage, Neeraj was worried that he would be an embarrassment during his first night.

Neeraj was no monk. He was well aware of all the things his raging hormones had led him to do over the years. He had watched his fair share of pornography during his college years. So he felt he had a decent idea what to expect. All the conversations he had had with his guy friends over the years came back to him while he was sitting on that bed.  But the problem with all those discussions, he realized, was that everybody involved were inevitably virgins themselves and nobody had a clue what to expect when it actually happened.

So in the week prior to his wedding, Neeraj had been forced to scour the internet for ‘educative’ videos and articles about the human female anatomy and about the very act itself. All that effort had left him fuming with embarrassment at his own situation. “This is not the way it is supposed to be” he thought. “The first night experience is supposed to be a memorable one, filled with passion and intensity. Instead I am just trying to make sure that I don’t screw it up! There has got to be something terribly wrong somewhere here.”

After 2 days of ‘educating’ himself about everything that he could possibly expect on that night, Neeraj thought about his friend Kiran. Kiran had been the only guy he knew personally who was a bachelor and who had done it. Well at least that’s what he had claimed. He vividly remembered that day when Kiran revealed that fact to his friends. Everyone of his friends was more excited than the other to hear the news! And Kiran was more than happy to describe in detail about his encounter. Neeraj remembered feeling sick as he watched all his friends vicariously feeding off of Kiran’s experience, fantasizing their own experiences in the process no doubt. But for some reason, Kiran never really mentioned her name, and after a couple of weeks, had totally refused to talk about the girl or the experience. This created strong suspicion among his friends and especially in Neeraj that Kiran had been spinning a yarn all the way.

But during that week before his marriage, in an act of total desperation, Neeraj called upon Kiran to ‘help him out’ as a friend. Kiran flatly refused to hold any conversation in that regard. “You got to figure it out for yourself man” was his only advice.

So the only thing left to do, Neeraj realized, was to get more ‘educated’. And so he had spent the remaining few days on the internet reading and watching. There were a few specific things that were repeatedly drilled into his brain. Foremost among them was what one article euphemistically called ‘arriving too soon.’ But sitting there on that bed draped with flowers and adorned with perfumes, there was something even more fundamental that he was worried about.

He was so damn nervous that he was worried if he would even be able to respond to her in the first place. What if he lost it when it mattered most? What if he was not doing the right thing? What if the Melty Man attacked?

He had the pack of condoms lying under the pillow. It was only the previous day that he had seen how a condom looked like for the first time. And it had taken him 4 trials before he figured out how NOT to wear it inside out.

 “How the fuck did it all get so damn lame?” he had asked himself then.

He wished he had simply blown part of one of his paychecks on a hooker. At least that way he would know what he was supposed to be doing tonight. As long as he kept it safe, it could only have a positive impact. All this talk about the first night being memorable, sacred and the morally right thing to do was getting on his nerves. If anything, not having any experience prior to the wedding night was a recipe for disaster. He really wondered how many couples actually ended up doing it that night. The marriage ceremony is usually a pretty tiring affair. It would be no surprise if the couples simply went to sleep after that long day. Instead he was being expected to put in sufficient effort to lose his virginity while not embarrassing himself at the same time.   (Or maybe the guy takes Red Bull before doing it, he wondered).  Whoever made up those rules clearly died a frustrated and sadistic virgin, Neeraj concluded in frustration. He completely sympathized with all those people in the yesteryears who had no access to internet or any ‘educative’ material. At least he was better off than them.

He got up and began to pace the room impatiently. Where was she?

And then as if in response to his thought, he heard some loud giggling outside the door. The door opened and there she was. Roopa. Clad in a beautiful white sari, blushing with shyness AND carrying that redundant glass of milk. (Seriously, who in their right minds would even spare a thought to drinking that glass of milk? ) He gave her a weak smile and was surprised when it was returned with a weak and hesitant smile from her end too. And that’s when it hit him!

This was her first time too. And she was as scared and nervous as he was! Perhaps more.

And that helped him relax a bit. She came near him with her head bent down and slowly offered him the glass of milk. He promptly took it and kept it aside on the table. She then lifted her head and looked at him. And he could see the fear and nervousness in her eyes too. He helped her sit beside him and slowly wrapped his arm around her. It was then that he realized that he was actually shaking. He looked at her, smiled and said, “I maybe nervous. But I am glad I am the one who is going to see you like this the first time.” She blushed and smiled. Then, she appeared to muster up her courage and said, “But I need to let you know something before we do it. I hope you understand.” “What is it?” Neeraj asked, growing a little apprehensive. “Its nothing to worry. Its just that even though I have never been with anyone before, you may not find what you need that proves me to be a virgin.”

Neeraj knew what she was talking about. And he understood her completely. He had read about it online that women may not necessarily exhibit full signs of being a virgin even though they might be. So he immediately felt more relaxed and smiled at her. “Don’t worry. I understand.”

Roopa smiled, evidently relieved. She bent forward and gave him a kiss on his lips. Neeraj held that kiss for a while, with half his mind trying to fathom the significance of what was happening and the other half trying to judge how he was fairing at what he was doing. Then Neeraj knew what was going to happen and he switched off the lights.

************************************************************************************************

It was Neeraj who first came down in the morning at about 830. Almost everyone in the marriage hall were up and having their coffee. As he walked down the stairs into the main ceremony area where everyone had gathered, he had a bad feeling about what was to come.

It was his aunt who first spotted him. And as soon as she saw him, it appeared that she was saving up all her energy and enthusiasm just for that one moment when she exclaimed loudly at the top of her voice, “Hey look everybody! Neeraj has come down from his room! Come down Neeraj. I hope everything went well for you last night! How are you feeling today?”

Can somebody shoot this bitch?

He gave a weak smile, said I am doing fine and headed straight to the coffee serving area and picked up a glass of coffee. He looked around and found that a bunch of aunties were gathering in a place, as if planning to attack him with all their numbers. He immediately sensed danger and looked around. He found Kiran and Manoj sitting a few rows of chairs behind him and headed straight to them. The plan seemed to work as the aunties association appeared to stay down until they could capture their prey alone.

“Hey guys! Whats up?”, Neeraj asked.

“You tell me! You are the man! Everything went good?”, Manoj asked.

“Yeah man. It went good.” Neeraj kept his lie terse and to the point.

“Glad to know that!” quipped in Kiran and gave him a thumbs up.

Presently, Roopa came down and was immediately thronged by the aunty association trying to ‘ensure’ that their preparations for the room were ultimately conducive and helpful for the first night. Roopa tried to keep a straight face and just nodded her head in response.

“I do not want to be in her shoes right now” quipped Neeraj.

“No shit” Manoj agreed.

Soon Neeraj realized he had to go and just simply hang around with his wife. Otherwise everyone around were bound to infer that something went terribly wrong the previous night. So he went to Roopa, put his arm around her and held her close while talking to her friends. He faked a good smile to everyone, making them believe that he had just woken up from the most memorable night of his life. His parents seemed very happy to see him smiling like that.

Only the both of them knew what had happened the previous night. And he was already looking forward to Take 2. While he was smiling and talking to people, he wondered, “If all this waiting and saving it up for the wedding night is supposed to amount to a truly memorable experience, then this is the most embarrassing lie that is being passed down from generation to generation over the past couple of thousands of years. And the fact that nobody is ready to admit that it happened to them is only going to ensure that this continues in the future too.” He looked around himself at all the married men and women of all ages and smiled. He knew that all of them were no exceptions to what had just happened to him. And the schadenfreude suddenly made him feel good!

Manoj was keenly observing the newly married couple. Seemingly impressed by what he was seeing, he said, “Isn’t it so nice that a couple get to save themselves for such a long time just so can be with each other on the wedding night? That just seems so right.”

Kiran gave a small laugh at Manoj’s naiveté. He was looking at Roopa as she was posing with her husband for a pic for all her friends. He seemed to be lost in thought for a moment and when he came back to, he saw that Roopa was glancing nervously towards him every now and then.

That’s when he said to Manoj, “Maybe him.” He then raised his glass towards Roopa as she looked at him once more. “Not her.” And then he smiled as he sipped his coffee.

“Sheeeeeiiiiiit!” Manoj exclaimed softly.

Later, whenever Roopa’s friends asked her where she was looking in all their photos, she never really gave them a convincing answer.

]]> http://arbitblogs.wordpress.com/2011/06/26/when-it-happens/feed/ 1 Akshay N R http://arbitblogs.wordpress.com/2011/05/29/breaking-news-arsenal-end-trophy-drought-with-we-beat-barcelona-trophy/ http://arbitblogs.wordpress.com/2011/05/29/breaking-news-arsenal-end-trophy-drought-with-we-beat-barcelona-trophy/#comments Sun, 29 May 2011 19:43:07 +0000 Akshay N R http://arbitblogs.wordpress.com/?p=668 ]]> In a sensational development following Barcelona’s win over Manchester United on Saturday, Michel Platini, the President of UEFA has decided to hand Arsenal a trophy for having been the only team in the Champions League to have beaten Barcelona. Robin Van Persie and Andrey Arshavin had found the net for the Gunners in the first leg against Barcelona after falling behind for a David Villa goal early on. The result meant that Arsenal are the only team in the entire Champions League to have beaten Barcelona in either a home or away match this season. Speaking to reporters at a hurriedly assembled press conference, Platini elaborated on the issue.

Platini announcing the We-Beat-Barcelona trophy winners

“The present Barcelona team are being considered to be the best team to have ever played football. And this season, all the players have been performing at their peak. With this being the situation, it is only fair to show our appreciation to the only team that has beaten Barcelona in Europe this season – Arsenal.”

Platini also said that the trophy would be handed to Arsene Wenger and Arsenal at a special ceremony to mark the occasion sometime early next week.

“This is not exactly a trophy per se. It is more like a plaque in the shape of the words “We Beat Barcelona” and Arsenal at the bottom of the plaque. But it is definitely worth being treated as a trophy. Like I said, beating Barcelona this season has been extremely tough and for a team that did accomplish it, they do deserve it.”

When asked by one of the reporters if this is a fair thing to do, considering that Arsenal had not actually won any tournament as such, Platini responded:

“You are right that way. Arsenal has definitely not won any tournament here.” He paused for a while and said softly, as if to himself, “Damn. That was the most redundant statement I have ever made.” Then he continued, “This trophy or plaque that we are giving them should be considered differently. It is like a posthumous award. Or like an honorary degree. It is like getting inducted to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame AFTER you are dead. It doesn’t count for anything but still we are showing our appreciation of your efforts.”

Arsene Wenger was overjoyed with the announcement. Within minutes of hearing it on TV, he called a big press conference including all major sports journalists of every newspaper in England.

“This is to let the entire football world know that Arsenal has officially ended its trophy drought which has lasted for more than 6 years. This proves that we do have a side that is capable of winning trophies. And we have won this trophy by beating the best team on this planet. That makes this trophy even better. In fact, I would rate this trophy as the best trophy I have ever won in my managerial career. We have created a separate compartment in our trophy cabinet for this special trophy. The players should be really proud of themselves. They have put in a lot of effort into this and it is good to see that in the end it is all paying off.”

Wenger plans big celebrations for the trophy

“Beating Barcelona was definitely no mean feat. I had to bring in all my experience as a manager who doesn’t win trophies, in order to find a way to beat Barcelona. The boys played a wonderful game. This is such a young team with such inexperience of big games. And for them to win this trophy means a lot to them as well. Even the fans can rest assured now knowing that their beloved team has won a trophy.”

When asked about the comments made by Platini that this was not a real trophy, Wenger replied, “Well, thats just like his opinion. If he knew how hard it is to beat the best team in the world when all their players are performing at their peak, then he would have assigned a trophy even before the season started. It is definitely worth awarding a trophy for being the only team to beat FC Barcelona this season in Europe.”

Cesc Fabregas had even more reason to be happy. He said, “I am extremely happy that we have been awarded this trophy. So now that I have helped Arsenal win a trophy, I hope I will be let go to join Barcelona this summer.”

Barcelona star Lionel Messi also seemed to agree with Platini’s decision to award a trophy to Arsenal. “They play some really entertaining football. And beating us this season has been hard for even the best of teams. And considering how less money was invested in the Arsenal squad, I think it is only fair that they get a trophy for beating us this season.”

Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson was livid when he heard about the news. “Am I the only one in Europe who thinks this is a stupid idea? How can you award a trophy to a team for winning  just one game? Irrespective of who the opponent is? We won a  lot more games than Arsenal in the Champions League and if anything, WE should be given a trophy for that. This is completely unfair!”

Another team that was extremely unhappy about the development was the La Liga side Real Sociedad. Real Sociedad happened to be the only other team to have beaten Barcelona this season when they won 2-1 against the reigning European Champions in April. A statement on their website said,

“We at Real Sociedad consider it extremely unfair to not be recognized as the other team to have beaten FC Barcelona this season. Irrespective of whether this is the Champions League or La Liga, Barcelona always play to win with their strongest side. And having defeated Barcelona, we feel that we also deserve a trophy commemorating our achievement. If UEFA does not grant our wishes, we will be taking up this matter with FIFA.”