Just last night I decided to do something queer. I just thought –“Ok. So lets see what are the things or who are the people without whom I really cant survive.” I wanted to know, in a practical way, as to who or what I was in actual need of to lead my life. I was a little apprehensive about going about this. Why? Well simply because I would sort of tell myself the naked truth as to whom or what I truly like and at the same time, I would know who all or what all doesn’t make a difference to me. And trust me: I really had a hard experience.
First I set out on the things that I couldn’t really live without. Well apart from the daily necessities of life that I am inevitably forced to use, I did find a few things I couldn’t live without.
First of all, my books. Books- of all kinds. My academics reference books, or be it my novels, my motivational books, all those books on World War 2, or those text books I have always loathed, all those spiritual books, books that I wrote myself-I am referring to my diaries-, or be it all those used and worn out notebooks that I once used long back. I just cant live without them. I need them every hour of the day. Without them, whatever dreams I have won’t be fulfilled in anyway.
And come to think of it, I really had a hard a time to find out something else that I really needed to survive. What answer I got was definitely surprising. In fact some people would laugh at it. The only other thing that I can’t live without is Pink Floyd. Pink Floyd simply filled in that void I had in me a few years back. Every time I heard “Time”, I would just be reminded of all those days gone by wherein all I did was nothing but waste time. I still do. But those lyrics, that lead guitar piece, that retro sound recording….it all just helps me put things in the right perspective. I can keep on talking about all the other songs as well…but that would take up a lot more time and space than what I want to write here.
So that was it: the only two things that I couldn’t live without were my books and Pink Floyd. Nothing else at all.
And then I came to all those people without whom I couldn’t live. I started thinking. Ok kept on thinking. Ok : my parents surely. I have literally been brought up by them. More about them later.
Ok so who else? Of course, my close friend! No names on the blog. So u won’t know who I am talking about. I met this guy about 5 years back. Since then, I couldn’t help but like his company. Today he knows me inside out. And even I know him inside out. And he happens to be the only person who continued to call me when I was in my hostel. Those were tough times for me. I used to stare at the mobile for about an hour hoping that it would ring. It simply never did-apart from his phone calls. So to whoever is reading this, and know that they should have called me and didn’t, well I just have one thing to say: “ None of you people deserve me. I am not made to be someone who knows any of you closely. I deserve people a lot better than you”
Well so apart from my parents and my close friend, I have one more close friend…we have been traveling on the same seas on the same path, but not on the same boat. Our destinations are the same. But our vehicles changed sometime back. But still he is one of the very few guys I have met who think straight, believing that doing the right thing is right. Surely he has made a big difference to me.
Well so there u go. 4 people, two things…end of story.
But only then, I came to realize that the story had just begun.
In my next blog maybe, I will tell you what I meant by the story had just begun.