The Constant that I have Always been….

There has always been something about me that has never changed. I guess we all do have some or the other thing in us that simply refuses to change. That is what we truly are. Not our grades, not our positions or any other measurable quantity. What we are is what we have always been. It is not the changing side of us that determines what we are. It is that which is constant. That which we are without our own knowledge is what determines our character. There are not many people out there who can admit to who they really are. But I saw myself and I was happy to be just the way I am and the way I have always been.
Now why am I talking all big things about how one should be? Well that’s because I went through something that made me realize who I really was. So what is it that has never changed in me? What is it that I pride myself so much about?
There has always been this thing in me that just refused to do anything that I didn’t like or approve of. I have never had this habit of adjusting myself to something that wasn’t what I liked or preferred. The word ‘compromise’ has never meant anything to me. If at all there has been any compromise that I have made till date, it has been done only with the full knowledge that I will eventually end up liking whatever I have chosen. Otherwise I have always been completely ignorant about all the other options. And whenever I am in a situation wherein I haven’t got what I like, I look for those things myself. Now anyone in my situation would have just carried on with whatever they got. Not me. I see the possibilities to what I want. I see things that can be the solution to my desires. I have always looked at it such that I have what I want….and usually I get what I want. But the thing to ponder over is that what is it that fundamentally separates me from others in the same situation?
I guess it is in the fact that in times like I mentioned above, I don’t give myself any other options to survive on. I know what I want and it so happens that it is the only thing that I am aware of. And I am proud of what I am.
I have seen people who have sold their souls in return for things and favors which are practically worth nothing. One person in particular is egregiously prominent. As is my policy I shall not take up his name nor am I going to make any disparaging remarks about him. All I will say is that he is the epitome of all that I have dreaded and despised. And knowing him has only made me aware of the fact that I am quite the opposite of what he is. And that realization then led me to the understanding of what I really am. So in a way I have to thank him to have made me get the right perspective about myself. But I wont say that to him.
Now what happened to me that made me realize all these things is not the relevant thing. The relevant thing here is the fact that I have now realized who I am and who I always will be. I have had my parents telling for hours together that you don’t get everything that you want in life. Well I tell them that probably they haven’t asked enough. And like I said, I usually get what I want!

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About Akshay N R

Civil Engineer by Profession; Dudeist by Religion. Also allergic to mediocrity.

Posted on January 7, 2007, in The things that happen only to ME.... Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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