Breaking News: Man Utd renew Own Goal’s Contract for 2010-11 season

Sir Alex Ferguson has confirmed that Own Goal has renewed his contract for the upcoming season after putting pen to paper just hours before the game against Fulham. The evidently delighted Ferguson could not hide his enthusiasm and revealed that he had always expected Own Goal to sign up for one more season even though his contract was due to expire by the end of the month.

There was speculation linking him with a move away from Old Trafford but the prolific goal scorer said in an interview just after the Fulham match that he had always wanted to stay at Utd and attributed his decision to the support the fans showed him throughout last season.

“You know you are good when you score goals for your club on a regular basis and in very crucial situations. But its only when the fans show their support and love towards you do you feel wanted and appreciated at the club” said the United player who seemed to have mastered the art of consistency.

Sure enough, the Man Utd fans have reciprocated the feeling by chanting Own Goal’s name repeatedly after their side were put ahead in the final 6 minutes by (who else??!!?) a vintage Own Goal goal. The chanting grew even more intense when Fulham equalized and the fans turned to Own Goal to help them get all 3 points at Craven Cottage.

Speaking after scoring his first goal for United in the new season, Own Goal described his preparations for the match. “Obviously I was lacking in match practice before this (the Fulham match). So I decided to make a guest appearance the previous day for Bolton Wanderers and help them get off the mark against West Ham.”

That match practice eventually proved very crucial as Own Goal helped secure at least one point from the match.

“Obviously I would have wished to win it. After I had scored, I thought Nani’s penalty should have sealed it but then it happened to be one of those days when things dont go well for your team as a whole.” said the dejected goal scorer.

Asked if he would make guest appearances for United’s main rivals-Chelsea, Arsenal, City or Liverpool- Own Goal was very clear cut in his reply: “Well I would be lying if I said I dont like to make guest appearances. It sometimes feels good to have other club fans cheering you as well. But even if I do make a guest appearance, I will ensure that the goals I score for rival teams will be totally inconsequential. I will probably score a goal when the team is already winning by a big margin or losing by a big margin so it wont make any difference anyway. Lesser restrictions will apply for lower ranking teams. I did this last season and I will repeat it this time too. So that way my loyalty to United will always be preserved.”

However, Sir Alex Ferguson was all praise for him in spite of the dropped points. “I’ve been telling from the beginning that Own Goal is a very important part of my team and my plans for the season. He is a good lad who can score goals and get us points in very crucial situations. Its like doing what Macheda did against Aston Villa but Own Goal had been doing it week in and week out. “

“I am very happy that he has decided to extend his contract with the club which is the greatest just because it has a vast history and all. Other clubs who may be the reigning champions but who are not worth supporting just because they dont have any history have to now acknowledge our most powerful weapon- Own Goal.”

Own Goal echoed the importance attached to him by Ferguson by pointing out that he was the top scorer for the club after Wayne Rooney last season.

“Sure Wayne got a lot of goals. But that should in no way prevent football fans to see who their second top scorer was. I would have got even more goals but many goals were eventually awarded to other United Players even though they just gave me the assist. “

When a journalist pointed out that his name was never mentioned on any goal scorers’ statistics table, Own Goal was visibly frustrated and said that he would take up the case with FIFA to include his name in all goal scoring compilations.

Experts are already pointing out that his contribution last season to United’s push for the title, though vital, was always in the presence of Wayne Rooney and hardly ever in his absence. But looks like Own Goal has already proved his critics wrong by scoring with Rooney not even featuring among the subs.

“Who said I cant score without Wayne Rooney giving me the assist? I can score on my own many times you know” said the United frontman.

We will only have to wait and see how United’s potent weapon of last season will fare this season.

Advertisements

About Akshay N R

Civil Engineer by Profession; Dudeist by Religion. Also allergic to mediocrity.

Posted on August 22, 2010, in Arbit, Football, My sense of Humour, Nonsense, Premier League, Satire and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: