MCC’s Cul-Ah! 2011: ROFLMAO!!!

Before I say anything, let me get the context perfectly clear here. I am right now in the USA and have been here for the past 1.5 years. I woke up today morning and on my news feed, I saw that MCC’s Cul-Ah had been going on since Monday. This brought back all the nice memories of the Cul-Ah! that I had been to when I was in my PUC. So I decided to give it a read. This post is a result of the profound WTFness that I experienced subsequent to reading through those articles. READ ON…

For the uninitiated, Cul-Ah! Is the annual cultural fest that is conducted by Mount Carmel College, Bangalore, at their own campus. Usually they hold it in the month of January and this year too was no exception. This fest is considered to be one of the best fests in the city and is in high demand. (Hmm…I wonder why..). Perhaps the fact that MCC is a girls’ college with a continued reputation of housing the best chics  in the city has something to do with that popularity. Anyways, I got to know about this year’s fest through this and this article on DNA.

So this year, MCC has gone on and made the effort to theme their fest. The theme chosen is “ELEMENTS”. According to Andrea, general secretary of Mount Carmel College students’ union,

Our college is completely eco-friendly, and hence we came up with this theme. Considering that this year is the year of ‘biodiversity’, we have begun a number of campaigns in the college that encourage students to be more eco-friendly and to save the earth. For Cul- Ah, therefore, we chose the five elements of our planet to define and categorise our events.

The United Nations has this to say about the International Year of Biodiversity:

….that humans rely on the diversity of life to provide the food, fuel, medicine and other essentials needed for life… this rich diversity is being lost at a greatly accelerated rate because of human activities, such as the expansion of cities and farming. International Year Of Biodiversity is aimed at raising awareness about the loss of animal and plant species and organizing action to halt it.

Looks like a responsible thing the fest organizers have done. Starting a number of campaigns and getting their main fest to be themed that way to create awareness for the ‘Year of Biodiversity’. Just ONE small problem I came across:

The Year of  Biodiversity was LAST YEAR, 2010!!!

Yes, yes..this is the point where you go WTF???!?!!!??

I mean, seriously, what were the organizers thinking? I can imagine people messing up on some small aspects of the fest, but screwing up the very premise behind the main Theme of the fest, now you gotta be really messed up to do that!

I am now trying to reconstruct the discussion that I believe, took place, during the planning of the fest (in 2010).

Chic1: Girls! We gotta do something different this time. Something that will capture the attention of everyone for a very good purpose.

Chic2: Save the Planet!

Chic3: Oh my God! That is soooooo original! Lets totally do it!

Chic1: Wait! Save the Planet doesn’t sound fancy enough. Lets give it a different name.

Chic2: Hey look! This year is ‘Year of Biodiversity’! We can use that as an excuse to get this totally original idea on to our theme! This is so awesome no??

Chic1 and Chic2: Yay! This is going to be the best fest ever!

Chic4 (with mega-inferiority complex issues): Excuse me girls… err..hmm… but I was just wondering.. ummm.. since we will be holding our actual fest, like, next year, you know, 2011, don’t you think we need to consider that also?

Chic1: Did we ask you your opinion?

Chic4: Err…I was just saying…you know, that you had to consider…

Chic2: Are you suggesting that we don’t know how to do this?

Chic4: I am sorry.

Chic3: Yeah! Who the f*** cares anyway? As soon as they see something even remotely associated with Save Nature stuff, they will think we are doing a very responsible thing.

Chic1: So where were we? Ah yes! So lets make the theme as those 5 elements that make up nature. Earth, water, fire, air and space.

Chic2: Oooooooh! I so love Captain Planet! Go Planet! This is sooo good!

*******************************

Moving on, we now come to the events. The events are categorized with respect to the different ‘elements’. Here is the idea behind the classification:

Fire will include high energy events like dance, mad ads and mock rock, whereas music and poetry are in the category of Air. Water, with its characteristic intelligence, will include events such as quizzes and pictionary that test your intelligence and creativity while events such as vegetable carving, cooking without fire and flower arrangement fall in the category of Earth.

And here is the clincher, really. If you were wondering what they came up with for the ‘element’ of Space, this is what the Gen-Sec, Andrea, had to say (brace yourself for the profound WTF moment):

All these events will be conducted in the element of space, which in this case is MCC.

You know… if you really wanted to find an excuse to somehow include that 5th element, I am sure there was a less retarded way to do so. Let me reconstruct the discussion that led to this:

Chic1: Ok, now that’s a great idea. Year of Biodiversity, and ELEMENTS! I think we are onto something totally awesome here. Now how can we structure these events so that all the 5 elements are covered?

Chic2: I think the best way to do that would be to classify the events among 4 of the elements and treat the 5th element as something that will encompass all the other 4! I am so awesome no??

Chic3: So for example, we can put our events in Air, Space, Fire and Earth, while saying that we are holding our fest under Water. And then we can say that this is symbolic of how global warming is going to get all places under water soon if we do not do something about it! Isnt that a great idea? We can also use the Global warming excuse to put Fire as the 5th element saying we can die of heat and stuff.

Chic2: Oh my god!! There are so many options here! Lets draw lots!

********************

Ok. So enough with that. Lets now consider the actual events and their classification. Honestly, I really don’t know where to start. Fire is supposed to represent High-energy events? When exactly did rewriting a rock song in a funny manner (Mock  Rock) become a ‘high energy’ event? And so poetry and music events are classified under Air? Oh I get it! The vibration of air is required to create any sound and so music events come under Air. What about poetry? Oh I know! You need air to breathe while you create poetry! Epic!

So Water has ‘characteristic intelligence’? Hmm..lets see. Googling ‘characteristic intelligence of water’ yields results describing the Goldfish and the Portuguese Water Dog. I am sure the organizers found a way to link both these innocuous animals with their events. So quizzes and Pictionary are supposed to test your intelligence and creativity? Ok..so then why is the Kannada quiz in Air and not Water? You suggesting Kannada quiz does not require any intelligence or creativity? (Kannada Rakshana Vedike anyone??)

In fact, here is my alternate proposal for classification. Fire is generated by sparks. So a spark of the mind is related to the Fire element. Spark of mind also gives rise to creativity and intelligence, as seen in lit events such as quizzes and such. So classify all ‘intelligent and creativity’ based events under Fire. Then look for the real dumb and retarded events. Like Antakshari, where only the dumb get excited playing. You can classify such events under Water. Why? Because water destroys fire, the spark, the same way the dumb cancel out the intelligent!

“I am so awesome no??!!!?”

It is fairly obvious what has happened. The organizers somehow want to tag their fest with some kind of a socially-responsible message. And once they do that, they had to find ways to relate each and every event to the theme somehow. And so they come up with these ridiculous ways to connect their fest with the ‘Save the Planet’ message. And they know nobody is going to really question it or think too much about it as it is, by default, supposed to generate a feel-good factor. This whole thing, I have to say, is a perfect scenario to explain the idea of Subjective Validation.

Moving on, lets look at the Twitter account that MCC opened up to publicize and market their fest. Not a bad idea as a lot of people use Twitter and word gets spread around faster through it. There are 12 tweets in the account, the last of which was on Jan 3. Now I am not going to comment on the inefficient usage of the account. Instead, the followers of this account tell a very good story. (At the time of posting this) There are 21 followers, some of whose descriptions are as follows:

  • I’m a 17 year old girl. I Love Music. Met Jesus when I was 11. Living life in His grace and love. Servant, Daughter, Sister, Friend. =)
  • hi im **** a.k.a chikku.. im a huge fan of linkin park and edwars cullen.. i love playing different sports….well thats it for now… cya later……:-)
  • everything must be proportionate. your chicken and your rice must both last till the end. one must divide the bites of chicken evenly among bites of rice

No comments.

Well, I guess I am done with the organizers and the college. I have nothing against them really. I am sure they had a great fest and a lot of people had a good time. Come to think of it, I clearly remember to have had a memorable time when I went to Cul-Ah! 2003 edition when I was doing my PUC at St. Joseph’s PU College. But all that aside, I really cannot tolerate mediocrity. And hence this post. But I am not done yet. So far, I took care of the college. Now let me turn my attention to the newspaper- DNA.

Substandard or unethical journalism is something that really gets on my nerves. I have written about them before here and here. And I continue to see this even today. The DNA journos Merlin Francis and Vidya Iyengar have written the two articles that I have quoted here. In each case, I would like to know what the journos treat as their standard.

First up, with Merlin Francis. This is the dude who has got the Gen-Sec of the fest to quote that the Year of Biodiversity is this year. And he just took it for granted, making zero effort to check the factual accuracy of what he was quoting in his final article. All he needed to do was spend 15 seconds to google ‘Year of Biodiversity’ and he would have everything he needed. But no! Why? Well, I guess the standards differ, don’t they?

And now, with Vidya Iyengar. Call me a stickler for accuracies, but I really have a zero tolerance for inaccuracies in newspapers. The Fashion Show event is listed under the category Earth in the article.

The theme ‘Earth’ will be reflected in a fashion show that will sport rich, Indian ethnic wear.

However, in the actual brochure, the event is listed under Fire. This may look extremely trivial to some. But there is no guarantee that the above line was not just made up to suit the article. Maybe it was the fault of the organizers who fed in wrong information to the journo. Or perhaps, the organizers messed up their brochure (in which case, I would not attribute any wrong doing to the said journo). But these factual inconsistencies are not excusable in any form.

However, there is an even more WTF thing involved in these 2 articles. The General Secretary’s name is said to be Andrea D’Silva as per Vidya Iyengar, while it is Andrea D’Souza as per Merlin Francis!! Now, seriously, who f***ed it up? Poor Gen-Sec. You have my sympathies!

And I guess I am done. I am feeling good. Having said that, let me also add that I would like to thank all those involved in this awesome mess for providing me ideal fodder for a  blog post! Please keep it coming…..

UPDATE: The MCC folks have left a few comments below (along with the inevitable brickbats). Read them for their response and how all the facts did NOT go into the newspaper article. Also, since I am exercising my freedom to criticize people here, I also realize that I am open to criticism as well. I will not be deleting any comments here, even if they clearly show me in bad light. I will probably not be responding to them.

 

 

 

Linux N00B

This is some thing that I witnessed a while back at a friend’s house. I would have preferred to make a comic strip out of this but then my laziness (as always) got the better of me. So here is a small conversation that took place.

Guy 1: What are you doing?

Guy 2: I am installing Linux on my computer.

Guy 1: Why does it take so long?

Guy 2: There are a lot of things you have to do yourself in Linux thats why.

Guy 1: Ok.

Guy 2: Have you ever installed Linux?

Guy 1: No never. But I am still confused. Why use Linux at all? Isn’t Windows sufficient?

Guy 2: Its a lot complicated than that. You wouldnt understand.

Guy 1: But I want to know. Why do you use Linux instead of Windows? What are the advantages?

Guy 2: Ok here is the thing. You can see Windows files from Linux but you cannot see Linux files from Windows!

Guy 1: Wait! I dont understand…

Guy 2: What dont you understand?

Guy 1: I mean…if you wanted to see Windows files, why see them from Linux? You can see Windows files from Windows itself right?!!??!?!

Guy 2: Its not like that…

Guy 1: I mean think about it. If you are going through all these painful and time consuming process of installing Linux in order to see Windows files through Linux, dont you think you are just wasting your time? If I wanted to see Windows files, I will access them through Windows itself!!

Guy 2: *Facepalm*. Make that *Epic Facepalm*

The day when affordable cinema died

The Author of the following post is my esteemed ex-roommate Sadanand Kamat. He continues to be either busy or plain lazy to create an account by himself and open a blog in his own name. And he came up with this totally awesome article about Multiplexes and cinema that I could not resist putting up here. So, with kind permission and full acknowledgment, here is the post by Sadanand Kamat:

There was a time in India where there were only single screen theatres. The ticket prices were one of the lowest in the world. Movies were affordable by everyone right from the auto driver to an investment banker. But, ever since the advent of multiplexes like PVR and INOX, ticket prices have inflated enormously and movies have become a luxury than a part of day to day entertainment. What surprises me the most that the supply demand theory doesn’t fit into this segment of the market. Let me explain. Yesterday, I decided to watch ‘Raajneeti’ the much hyped political thriller. I logged on to the net to check out where it was playing and obviously PVR was one of them. I was shocked to find that the ticket price was hefty Rs. 350 and only 4 seats were left. I showed PVR the middle finger in my mind and decided to download the movie from the net in a few days.

I get pissed off when people on television make statements like ‘Stop piracy. Watch movies in the theatre’. Well fuck you bitch – do I look like an idiot to watch that crappy 3 hour movie of yours paying Rs. 350 when I don’t make Rs. 100 an hour as a software engineer.

But then again I was getting so fucking bored sitting in my AC room doing nothing over the weekend that I decided to give it another shot. I remembered seeing a ‘Raajneeti’ poster in ‘Maratha Mandir’ on my way back from office that day. For, those of you who are not from Bombay, ‘Maratha Mandir’ is a very old theatre near Mahalaxmi that even to this day plays ‘Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge’ on its screen. Just the thought that someone could be so passionate about a movie to play it even to this day makes you want to go to that theatre atleast once. So, I went to the theatre half an hour before the movie started and got a Balcony Ticket for Rs. 75. Can you believe it? Rs. 75 for the highest class of tickets available. The owner of the theatre could start online booking, paint the building, make the staff wear uniforms, serve burgers instead of Balaji chips and raise the price to Rs. 100 or Rs. 150 without affecting his revenues. But, then the whole point of having a movie theatre where everyone irrespective of their social class come and enjoy the movie experience would be lost. What is even more baffling is the theatre is really good. Good seats, excellent sound system, inexpensive food and a decent crowd.

I hate multiplexes. They have smaller screens, adopt variable pricing and excessively overcharge. People justify these shortcomings by saying that there is variety of movies that you can choose from in a multiplex. WTF kind of explanation is that? If I want to watch a particular movie, I bloody want to watch that movie only. I don’t care about the variety of crap available at the theatre. It is like saying I go to an underwear store because of the variety of sizes they have!

All this apart, by far the worst part about multiplexes is that they have created sub classes among people. People feel going to multiplexes is classier as compared to single screen theatres. And this is seen most rampantly when couples go to movies. Have you seen the number of couples in PVR. When I asked my brother why he doesn’t take out girls to movies he simply said that girls want you to take them to PVR and he couldn’t afford that. I totally agree with him. The girl who is more concerned about the elitism attached with the theatre rather than the movie experience, let alone your pocket is not worth it. She doesn’t realize that it is more fun to watch a movie like ‘Lagaan’ in a single screen when people started dancing when India won the match rather than go to PVR and stare at the screen for 3 hours. If you are a Bangalorean, think about the times you saw ‘Upendra’ or ‘A’ in a single screen theatre versus say seeing ‘Iron Man 2’ in PVR. Can you even compare the two?

The sad is part is that most of the single screen theatres today are being torn down to build shopping complexes and malls. Every mall that comes up will have more multiplexes, and will kill more single screens. There might come a day when the last single screen theatre is torn down and that day will probably be known as the ‘The day when affordable cinema died’.

“Backstreet Boys to headline Rock in India ’10”: The National WTF Moment

You know, once in a while, you come across things that make you laugh. They are called jokes. And then once in a while you come across headlines that go like the one in the title of this post. These make you laugh too. But they are not jokes. They are facts. And you know something else? There is nothing you can do about it. So let me put this in some perspective before I say anything else.

Rock in India started off in 2008 as the first ever Rock FESTIVAL in India and obviously, it was held in Bangalore, which is pretty much where most of the rock concerts take place. About 8 Indian rock bands played and the event was headlined by Megadeth and Machinehead– you know those legendary thrash metal bands? Rock in India ’09 was headlined by Iron Maiden and featured a host of other international rock bands. I went to both of them and they were awesome! Headbanging took a whole new meaning during those 2 concerts! Rock in India became the biggest rock event in India in the entire year. It gave every rock fan and every metal head something to look forward to every year.

And then this happens. Rock in India 2010 to  be headlined by Backstreet Boys! Apart from the necessary, spontaneous and inevitable reaction involving the phrase WTF, one sometimes wonders if this is some kind of a prank. Come to think of it, this is definitely one prank that any sane person would be happy to be victim to. You know why? Coz the contrary is simply insane. But that is what it is. Face it gentlemen, (and a handful of ladies) the lamest, gayest, most retarded boy band of all times is going to take over from the likes of Megadeth and Iron Maiden and is going to Headline “Rock In India” and Richard Marx is also going to be playing.  Umm….just one question. Exactly where the fuck is the ROCK part in all of this??!??

I mean seriously, HOW on earth is this possible? From what perspective is this expected to make any sense whatsoever? Ok now before I spell out any more profanities, let me make it clear. I believe every one has a right to their own taste in music. Hell, even I, who am a proud rock and metal fan, started listening to English music with the Backstreet Boys! (And fortunately moved on to better stuff soon). But getting BSB to friggin headline a ROCK Festival?? Surely, somewhere something went horribly wrong!

Apparently, the organizers are justifying their headlining act choice by saying this: “There has been a long- standing request from many music fans to our website that they would like to see mainstream music and also classic rock….” and “….rock in India is a “music” festival and the headliners have already been announced. Rock ‘n India does not mean the “genre” rock only. Being a fan you have right to an opinion. Being a promoter no artist is big or small to us. All artists are respected equally and not looked down upon just because they are a pop artist! We respect their music!” (The 2nd quote is from wiki which doesnt have a citation. So not sure)

And the above statement from someone whose official website for Rock in India states the following:

“Let it suffice to say that here: it is rock for the people, by the people and of the people.The soul of rock is contained within every individual in this generation of head banging and guitar breaking. So go ahead, make some noise and let your voice be heard. If music is religion, then these bands are the gods. Rock ‘N India being the temple of music, gives a chance for every god of music to be worshipped by its followers.”

Did you read it carefully? The organizer admits himself that he is getting a POP artist! And still he doesnt see the irony of the situation! If you wanted to get BSB, why couldnt you get them to have their own independent show? You wanna make money by staging them? Fine go ahead! I am sure there are still loads of people who are stuck at the BSB phase in their music tastes. But then why the fuck should you get them to headline a goddamn ROCK Festival? That too when previous headlining acts have been gods such as Maiden and Megadeth? If DNA wants to go commercial, so be it. But why ruin every rock fan’s dreams and month long expectations by getting a well recognized POP band to headline a ROCK Festival?

You know what this is? This is an insult to Bangalore and to all the proud Bangalore rock and metal fans. Come to think of it, this is an insult to rock fans all over India. This is an insult to the very idea of ROCK. This is an insult to Megadeth and Machinehead. This is an insult to Iron Maiden. Imagine Mustaine and Dickinson realizing that they had headlined a festival which was to be later headlined by BSB! This is also an insult to all the local Rock bands who had seen Rock in India as a great platform to promote themselves to all rock enthusiasts. I mean, can you imagine bands like Slain, Kryptos or other hard metal bands opening for BSB? Imagine the crowd they would be playing to. Would they even want to promote themselves to that crowd?

To all you Indian and specifically Bangalore Rock bands: You guys are great rockers man! Don’t spoil your image by performing in Rock in India ’10 opening to Backstreet Boys and Richard Marx. Even if you paid to perform, please realize that you are only putting your image up for sale! Every single rock fan in this country will remember you as part of the band which opened for Backstreet Boys.

And of course, there is this whole other issue with the actual Backstreet Boys fans having an open argument with the metalheads and other rock fans in public forums. It made for an awesome read though. The metal head, rightly pissed off, puts very appropriate comments about how BSB are a pop act and are not eligible to headline a rock festival (Of course you have to throw in a lot of f-words to actually get the tone of the comment). In fact, I think I will put up some of the awesome comments:

“This is so cool. BSB is touring India. I cant believe this. We deserve this. India is a place where people see rock on movies like “ROCK ON”. Guys do head bannging on listening to these shitty crap and say this is rock. This is so metal!!!. F***in son of w****s… “Rock n roll soniye” is the coolest rock song we have ever heard….”–Deathhead

Dude, you got it spot on man! Fully agree…

“The greatest WTF moment of the year, and an insult to Iron Maiden, Megadeth and Machinehead fans. You can’t get BSB under the same banner. This is like portraying Hitler as the champion of human rights.”— DB

Perfect analogy I have to say..

“after 80’s hair metal, its time for some 90’s pubic-hair pop!” —Blackmore (so he calls himself)

“HELL YEAH!!!! BSB – I suggest all dudes attending gonna wear makeup and chop off their d***s before getting their gay asses stuffed at the backstage afterparty!” —Buster

“I love the backstreet boys. They are so Metal that even Lamb of God prays to them. Chris Adler bows down to Nick (I have no idea whether thats his name). Bringing BSB to Rock n’ India is the most awesomest decision anyone can take…….” —- OLDMONKMGM

I say Sarcasm Win!

Ok enough done with the comments against BSB and the potential concert attendees. Now lets hear something from the other side here. The arguments provided by the staunch BSB supporters vary from justifying them to be a rock band to celebrating BSB’s success commercially. Here, lets take a look at some of the comments:

“this is THE shit! bsb rocks…it’s gonna be one hell of a show…it’s high time we had acts like bsb/boyzone/5ive touring india! kudos dna…looking forward for this one! i love rock music…and bsb is my favourite band, along with th names mentioned above…i thought iron maiden orchestra would make a re-run…good to know that there will be less noise this time around, ‘cos I WANT IT THAT WAY!”

“oh come on guys…backstreet boys rock! i will not call them a heavy metal band, but for sure a rockin’ group! their music might not be as heavy as bryan adams, but then quit playing games was one of the best rock anthem ever heard. let’s all hold hands and band our heads as they sing those words!”  —-both comments by a guy who calls himself ROCK LOVER

Gentlemen, let it be known that it was exactly after reading the above comments, that I had to make a sincere effort not to commit suicide. I mean..where do I start? “I love rock music and bsb is my fav band..”, “Iron Maiden Orchestra”, “quit playin games was one of the best rock anthems…”. Gentlemen, let it also be known that my search for the biggest retarded and lamest douchebag on this planet has ended.

“i love love love love love love love love love BSB!!!!!!! dey rok ! i just luv their songs” —Akanksha

Ok I think I am going to puke just looking at “dey rok”.

“bsb is the greatest band on earth aftr beatles.they r only the 2nd band 2 hav their 1st 7 albums debutin within 10.n they r only 2nd band aftr beatles 2 hav sold first 2 album with sales abuv 30 million each.even ur present rock bands cant sell even one album havin sales abuv 30 million….” —- Arij

“BSB is a pop/rock band.They are guiness record holders, sho have sold over 130 million albums!its not a joke man.how many albums have megadeth sold? they sing contemporary rock, piano rock, power ballads, they are great singers.All you people who dont know that they are also a rock band, please update yourselfs, moron, they rock, they are the best.their debue rock album “NEVER GONE”, released in 2005, was 3rd in billboard list i 2005, 11th in uk, 1st in japan, 1st in australia,1st in taiwan,3rd in europe. songs like “Incomplete”,”i still”, “Just want you to know”,”Crawling back to you”, are worldwide hits, and they also got bilboard awards for this. All those people who said they are bad, all of them are a disgrace to India, let us embrace THE BACKSTREET BOYS, who have revolutionised music. Have some respect for their accomplishments, 7 GRAMMY NOMINATIONS AREN’T a joke!, only BEATLES HAVE SOLD MORE ALBUMS THAN BSB not even GREENDAY…..” —- Ridam

Ok lets see some hard facts. YES BSB have sold more than 130 million albums. Yes Megadeth or Maiden hasnt sold more than them. YES they have many  #1 songs all over the world. YES their first 2 albums sold more than 30 million copies. YES they have an enormous fan following. And YES, they are also RETARDED and fuckin’ GAY!

But here is my personal favorite comment from a BSB fan who is justifying them headlining a ROCK festival. This is just simply awesome:

“who says bsb cant do good???dey r da biggest pop band…….dey can surely rock…..” —- Avadesh

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WTF??!???

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I REST MY CASE.

Oh and BTW, if any BSB fan or “real music” fan decides to comment to air their “views”, please feel free to do so. But be warned, that by doing so, you are only making an ass out of yourself.

Ok. In all seriousness, let me state my real concern. It is a fact that there are a lot more pop fans who like to see a bunch of guys with mics dancing as compared to metalheads dying to see their gods perform. And it is also very likely that the turnout at these pop concerts are going to be higher than Rock concerts. Now what worries me is that, once the Corporate organizers realize that they can make much more money by getting contemporary pop artists to India, they will not revert to Rock acts again in the future. And THAT my friends, is my main concern. There is no denying its possibility.

But all this apart, let me also remind the readers that as of now, (Jan 22), there is no official announcement regarding the headliners on the websites of either Rock in India or the BSB. Not that I have much hope, coz I am right now half way across the planet deciding between live shows of Clapton, Mark Knopfler and Porcupine Tree. You see…I have better options. Thankfully.

UPDATE: Well now its all official. Backstreet Boys to headline a Rock Festival. Rock IS dead my friends. At least thanks to people like those in DNA who make sure of it.

New Age Soporific

I happened to be having a late night drive some time back today after a hard day’s work. I am driving my car making a conscious and sincere effort not to accidentally run over some arbit driving or pedestrian dude (lots to choose from I have to say!). So like any other day, I put on the radio (not with any particular hope though) just to make sure I dont fall asleep. And as per my expectation, every damn channel was playing some crappy music, either in the form of some under-evolved Kannada pop or some phoney dik-chik-dik-chik club music. Some of the other crappy stuff necessarily included some phoney female RJ trying her best to sound like the happiest chic in town. Hell! I think even some Peruvian Flute bands would have sounded better! And usually in such situations, I usually tune  into some classical music but unfortunately that station was already down for the day. And then I remembered this decent show that comes up in FM Rainbow from 10 to 11 in the night. They usually play some decent old rock during that time. And so I tune into FM Rainbow 101.3….

What I would have liked to listen to was some listenable song. But what I did not expect to find, was some soporific nimrod who was doubling up as an RJ for the night, talking on the phone to another phoney trying to extract such useless opinions as what would be the ideal salary package that one would need to live a happy life in Bangalore!! I mean WTF do I care? In fact, WTF does anyone care? On top of it, this RJ dude finds it real exciting to drag the conversation to mind numbing durations-what with his lullaby voice doing the trick! Ok… I realize I don’t have many options so I stick to the station. And after about what seemed like a suffocating eternity, he plays an AIR SUPPLY song. And as soon as that gets over, guess what? Another phoney comes up on air and so begins another round of soporific dialogue! And it is then I realize that the phone conversations were actually longer than the songs that were being played! WTF??? So what that meant was that more than half the show was filled with this pointless hazy conversations about one’s pay package!! And to wind it all up, after all the impatient wait, all they end up playing is some female churning out some typical high pitched banal contemporary shit!

And that was it! No more soporific accompanied banal non sense! Dude, I am not tuning into 101.3 FM again!And I do the smartest thing by just turning off the damn radio! God Damn it! Isn’t there any worthwhile stuff that is ever played in Bangalore FM Radio Stations???

WTF????

PS: All my ‘phonies’ are inspired by CHAPTER 27, a movie based on David Chapman’s life and his obsession with Cathcher in the Rye. Nevertheless, all these phonies are completely true.

Starr- Studded Palin!

This is to all the NITK guys who know exactly what I am talking about. Here CASPER refers to a certain entity presently in NITK who likes to associate with the likes of Popeye. Everything else is self-explanatory.

My Status Message on GTalk: Sarah Palin reminds me of  Mrs. Starr Foursome…Seriously!!!!

CASPER: Who is Sarah Palin???!!!??!!

ME: WTF????!!!?????

Ah! Ignorance is truly Bliss!!

And there goes the 23rd!

So this is how it feels like to be 23 years old….Hmmmm…

Hmmmm……

Hmmmmm…….

Hmmmmm……….

WTF?? 22 felt the same f***in’ way! And so did 21! Seriously, WTF is this? I spent practically the entire last year convincing myself that being 22 sucks and being 23 was going to be great! And this stuff is not bad, its worse! Yeah all you <23 years old dudes brace yourself, this is gonna suck!

Ok now that I am done with my whining, let me rewind back to a little before 26th October, i.e Sunday which also happened to be my 23rd Birthday. So here is what happened:

25th October

23:45- Watching Kill Bill on PIX for the 7th time.

23:58- Suddenly realized I was going to turn 23 in a couple of minutes and so rushed to do that one very important thing!

23:59- Its all ready!

26th October

00:00- 60ml Black Dog Scotch Whiskey-On the Rocks! Now thats how I ventured into the 24th year of my existence!

It so happened that a certain individual of the human female species who goes by such very appropriate names as Olive Oyl and the likes, was the first  to wish me at around 00:01. Much appreciated thank you!

And so began the one thing that separates this one day from the rest 365 days of the year-phone calls! (Oh wait you can discount that short, sudden spike in mobile phone activity during my college fest in February. ) Unlike last time around, everybody whom I expected-everyone- called me to wish me. Including a certain special someone who, I have to say, eventually made my day! Of course, like the previous time around, certain people who chose to wish me through an SMS continued their irreversible habit this time around too, but thankfully without the improvisations! And I was fortunately wiser this time around not to reply.

But that aside, here is what I did on my 23rd Birthday:

1) Turned 23.

2) Started my 24th year with a shot of Black Dog.

3) Said “Same to you” when Logik called me to wish me!

4) Stabbed my Birthday cake-yeah literally!

5) Watched in disbelief as my beloved Chelsea lost their unbeaten Home record to Liverpool.

6) Fed some 70 bucks worth of Blackforest pastry to Blackie- the other Black Dog. (God Damnit! For the last time, I AM NOT A RACIST!)

So thats about it! Thats as far as my birthday went! I had people calling me at 00:00 and I had people calling me at 23:45! I guess that explains it all. As uneventful as my 23rd birthday might have been, I will always remember it more than any other birthday of mine-just for the fact that everyone whom I expected to call-everyone that is-called me and wished me. And for someone who gets on an average <2 personal phone calls a month, that is something truly valuable. It may not have been the dream birthday I had hoped for, but considering what I got to take from this, I am quite happy with all of it.

PS: I still got to buy myself a birthday gift. I have around 4k with me, stretchable to 5k. And I find I have everything that I need. So please do pass on some suggestions about what I can possibly buy for 5 grand and not regret it.

PPS: Apparently my script writing time for the south park episode is taking infinitely more time, considering my sudden increase in work load from binary 0 to binary 1. So I hope to put it up this weekend. Till then, I will take off the post.

PPPS: KITTA!! Beat this man! 23 and Still Single! Irrespective of what you are, I will always be  1year ahead of you! HA HA!

PPPPS: To all you guys who wished me on Orkut, Thanks to you too!

My Routine

8:30 AM: Wake up and crap.

9:00 AM: Eat Breakfast

9:30 AM: Start surfing Net

12:30 PM: Go Sleep

3:30 PM: Go for lunch

4:30 PM: Change channels on TV from beginning to end

4:45 PM Change channels on TV from end to beginning

5:00 PM: Make some noise with my guitar

6:30 PM: Go play football

9:20 PM: Take Bath

9:45 PM: Have dinner

10:30 PM: Surf some more net. (a.k.a Check Blog Stats for the day)

12:30 AM: Sleep

Cycle repeat.

WTF??????????????????????