On My Disappearance

Ok seriously, not that anyone actually noticed. But I have been away from blogging for a while now- about 1.5 months to be precise. (The interpretation of the previous sentence ranges between I-have-been-too-damn-busy-for-this to I-have-a-cheap-excuse-and-it-is-called-laziness). And so for those who did notice, which would probably include 3 people on this planet, I have been both busy and lazy in the past few weeks. Of course the most significant part is that I am done with my Masters. And because of this, I believe I need to give some kind of a closure to a few of the things that have been on my mind over the past few months.

First of all, during the months of November and December, I realized that I can take the definition of working hard to a whole new level. This included running a code some 200 odd times processing over 16000 files in all. The process was so damn mechanical and automated, that it took me the entire 4th season of The Wire and the first season of Six Feet Under to be playing on the TV while I ran the code — just for me not to go insane. The other aspect of my ‘hard working’ included preparation for my Masters exam and the complete anticlimax during the actual test. Some other consequences of extreme levels of work included the act of what I call – ‘Simply Forgetting’. This largely refers to my complete forgetting of performing many of the day to day activities- like eating, sleeping, bathing, brushing teeth. Its not that I was too busy to find time for it. It was just that I SIMPLY FORGOT to do it. (You can throw in some other metabolic processes into it too).

But perhaps one of the most useful discoveries during this period was with regard to the food that I ate during those weeks. Initially, my diet primarily consisted of eggs/bread/cheese for breakfast, eggs/bread/cheese for lunch and eggs/bread/cheese for dinner. And then, for reasons I really cannot remember, I prepared Dal Tadka Fry. Little did I know at that time that this particular dish is going to save me so much damn time and help me get so much more work done-while all the time still helping me eat tasty and good food. You see, when you make, say, 1 container of Dal Tadka Fry, you are essentially making some 7-8 containers of the same. This dish, friggin thickens and it thickens a whole damn lot! All you need to do is keep it overnight in the fridge and it becomes so thick and dry that you need to add a whole lot of water just to get it back to edible consistencies, which consequently increases the quantity of the dal significantly. And this happens every single time. So next time, you are hard pressed for time and need to put in a lot of work, I strongly recommend preparing this and eating it for the next many days. (I personally made 1 container last for about 2.5 weeks!)

But in all seriousness, looking back at my Masters, I can now say that I really worked hard for it. So much so, I felt for the first time in my life, that I had actually achieved something of real significance. When I learnt that I had to spend close to $100 in order to do the graduation walk, I initially had to think twice about it. But then I told myself: “I have worked too damn hard and been through too much shit not to do the walk.” And so I did my graduation walk. Where I was at that point may not have been what I had imagined when I first came to the US. But still there I was. Without dramatizing too much, let me quote Atlas Shrugged: “The feeling was a sum, and he did not have to count again the parts that had gone to make it. But the parts, unrecalled, were there, within that feeling.” That was something to the effect what I felt then. But, now I am done.

Well, after my exams were done, came the holidays- perhaps the last break I will have in a long long time. And for me, it meant an opportunity to do nothing- which is what I exactly did, at least for about 2-3 weeks. Then I traveled. The temporary access to a car worked wonders and I am making the best use of it. Apart from that, my bass guitar seems to be seeing more than just the inside of the bass guitar bag. The combination of Sabbath, Dire Straits, Cream, Floyd, Deep Purple, PTree, and Guitar Pro seems to work wonders for my bliss factor. And I do not have any plans to cut down on it.

There is one thing of some importance that helped me get through the demanding times of the past 2 months. I first came to know about it when my cousin blogged about it. I am talking about DUDEISM. It is perhaps the most awesome thing anyone has ever come up with. If the universe gave existence to the Coen brothers just to create The Dude’s character, then I bow to the divine plan. I really cannot do justice to the whole idea here in a blog post. One can truly appreciate the idea only when you experience it first hand. The fact that there is really absolutely no friggin point in worrying about anything at any point in life, irrespective of how fucked up the situation may be, is something that has to be realized first hand. And I have been fortunate enough to be one of them. Just as long as you keep doing whatever is necessary, there is really nothing to worry about.  This realization eventually got me to get ordained as a priest at the “Church of the Latter Day Dude”!

If you have been following my posts of late (redefine ‘of late’ to whenever the last time I was writing), you will find some strong and passionate opinions expressed by me with regard to religion. Over the course of the past semester, I went through different phases of belief and non-belief. And now, I can finally state, without any apprehension or doubt, that I am an Atheist. I have framed some more very strong beliefs and opinions about religion and God since whatever I wrote before. But I do not aim to make more blog posts about them. Many of these new ideas have stemmed from some very long and intense phone conversations with His Holiness. I aim to document all these ideas and opinions in some substantial form in the near future-which brings me to something important.

I have decided to write a book. When, how, why, I have no idea. This is not my priority but it is something I hope to get done in about 3-4 years time. Looking at it this way, I want to get something out by the time I turn 30. On whether I actually possess the skills to do it, I will only know after I have tried.

One more thing. This is about by far the best TV Series ever made. I am talking about THE WIRE. There is absolutely no point in talking or elaborating about what the show is about or why one should watch it. Let me just say this: GO WATCH IT! I was fortunate enough to find all the 5 seasons in my University Library and made the best use of it. There simply cannot be a more realistic portrayal of anything ever. But if I were to give one reason why you should watch it, I would point out the Casting. Not just the acting, but the casting of the actors for those roles. The casting for the characters Omar, Marlo and Proposition Joe have got to be the perfect casting ever made. But really, every single character is so very detailed and perfectly cast that it is very easy to forget that one is actually watching a TV Show and not some documentary with perfectly hidden cameras.

And with regard to my (redundant) New Year resolution, I have decided to blog more regularly. Yeah…whatever.

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About Akshay N R

Civil Engineer by Profession; Dudeist by Religion. Also allergic to mediocrity.

Posted on January 6, 2011, in America, Religion, Serious Writing, The things that happen only to ME..., Virginia Tech. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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