The Night of The Black Dog…

Considering the fact that the number of comments to this post hit double digit even before any content was uploaded, I decided to upload the content lest certain people doubt the veracity of my claims. But more importantly I had to upload the content to brush aside certain highly improbable and demeaning claims made by fellow alcoholic blogger Logik.

Anyway, so that was what I wanted to write about. About how I very constructively blew my first salary. That’s what this is all about.  After having waited impatiently for a long time, ever since I first tasted some excellent Scotch whisky in the form of Chivas Regal, I was finally able to buy some myself. It was just that I wanted to buy it from my own money. And that finally took shape in the form of my first salary wherein I spent a cool 1500 bucks to get 2 bottles of Black Dog Scotch Whisky-Aged 12 Years! And so amidst the cool breeze, began THE NIGHT OF THE BLACK DOG!

This time it was just my cousin who introduced me to the marvel that is Scotch, my Dad and me savouring the smooth 12 years old whisky with select songs by Jethro Tull playing in the background. I mainly chose Black Dog due to my prior memorable experience with it when I had been to the Kenny G concert wherein they had served Black Dog as a complimentary gesture. And it was worth every drop that went in me. And when I deeply inhaled and took in the fragrance of the age old Scotch, I realized that this was what they called The Sweet Smell of Success…

As the night rolled on, Dad started “My Experiments with Alcohol-Pre Marriage” and it was nice to hear from him some of his early trysts with Old Monk Rum. I began to talk about how in one of my Post B.Tech High series, me and my fellow Alcoholics (Logik and Shiverbay) were well, drinking alcohol (what else?), listening to Hey Joe by Jimi Hendrix and simultaneously belting juniors in DC++. Of course, I was the renowned COW INSPECTOR on the Hub and then some dude popped up a “Hey Cow!” on the Main Chat. The drunk state I was in, I was curious to see who it was. That dude’s nick was JOE and so we typed “HEY JOE!!!” and then we couldn’t stop ourselves from rolling on the floor and laughing! If you ask what’s the funny part, well then I can clearly say you have never been drunk in your life! (Get a life!) But at that time, we just couldn’t control ourselves. And as I was explaining this to my Dad, he looked at me if I was alright or already high. And so I further explained that it seemed funny then and not any other time. ( Damn the generation gap! )

The One that Eats, Sleeps and Screws around..

The One that Eats, Sleeps and Screws around..

And then the time came for what Logik would now term as the Clichéd Midnight Inebriated Walk. Well my cousin and I did have the walk and Blackie(see photo), the other Black Dog  which eats, sleeps and humps, followed us outside its territorial boundaries and in the process made a sincere effort to make its presence felt by leaving copious amounts of you-know-what everywhere it went! And as we trekked up the steep road, Blackie suddenly disappeared, only to reappear on our way down. Apparently there were about 8-10 cantankerous dogs just a small distance up the slope and if this thing had gone up there, I really doubt if it would have come back down. And so as we made the return walk, high on Black Dog, and in the company of the Black Dog, THE NIGHT OF THE BLACK DOG finally ended.

And so now let me focus on the dubious and baseless claims made by fellow alcoholic blogger Logik. Firstly, he claims that the makers of the highly potent Mysore Lancer have come up with a product to rival Black Dog and aptly named it Die Bitch- presumably in memory of the hostel bitch which died due to excessive humping!  And he further claims that Die Bitch can beat up the Black Dog with ease. Well, rest assured, as the Die Bitch will never come as far as Black Dog. The only consequence of this whole act would be the second coming of the “Die Bitch Humping”-and this time courtesy Blackie, the other Black Dog which eats, sleeps and humps for a living.

So people behold the unrivalled domination of THE BLACK DOG! No Die (or DEAD) Bitch can come anywhere close!

And before I forget, THE NIGHT OF THE BLACK DOG saw only ONE of the TWO bottles being emptied. The other bottle is still fully intact.
CALLING ALL FELLOW ALCOHOLICS FROM NITK TO SHARE THE REMAINING BLACK DOG!

PS: I was listening to Budapest by Jethro Tull when I was high and I couldn’t help but substitute the phrase “Hot Night in Budapest” with “The Night of The Black Dog”! And it was actually fun doing it-then.

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About Akshay N R

Civil Engineer by Profession; Dudeist by Religion. Also allergic to mediocrity.

Posted on September 15, 2008, in Alcohol, NITK, The things that happen only to ME... and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 17 Comments.

  1. What?. No real time updates. How dare you.

  2. I thought let the one alcoholic experience which i updated real time be one of its kind…Something that cannot be repeated again….Hence the late update…And considering the fact that I still have one more bottle remaining, I really wonder what I should be doing with it….

  3. Man… Has that whisky got you so high that you’ve to wait for days to write something? Or.. are you waiting for the bottle to get over? How? Your drinking discretely or continuously?

  4. The black dog has humped n.r. Akshay n.r. (26-10-1985 – 16-9-2008) R.I.P .. We’ll miss ya…

  5. @Royan:
    You are partly right…I am talking about the bottle not yet being over! ANd the real reason why I havent written is because I have suddenly slumped to some very intense self searching sessions! ANd so dont find the time…
    And BTW, I keep conveying your regards to Olive Oyl….

    @Logik:
    And Boy does it feel good…..The Black Dog still awaits you too…Wanna get humped too? Trust me its smoooooooooooooooth!!

  6. I heard the company who made mysore lancer, is making a new version called “Die Bitch”. That’s sure to beat the hell out of your Black Dog.

  7. @Logik
    Dude… you don’t even know what it means to get drunk… To know what it means to get high and to get humped by the high and enjoying it needs lot more boozeyard sessions than just drinking calculated amount of alcohols days before passing out of NITK (like you did)!!

    @Akshay
    Thanks for conveying the regards…. I received information from the receiver!!!

  8. @His Holy Highness Pumba –
    I agree. I am but a tiny insect in the field of Boozeyarding.
    But, I claim that, You O’ Giant Barrel, the one with the guzzling capacity of a Roman army, cannot ever get high too. And that’s a mighty compliment.

    Our friend N.R, here is a mere mortal. He, a self-confessed pupil, in your School Of Fine-Boozing Arts, and can never come close to the Zen-ness that is his Master.

  9. @Logik:
    Here is a PJ: Once the company which made Mysore Lancer makes Die Bitch, it becomes a past tense and so Die Bitch would become DEAD BITCH! And what can a DEAD BITCH do to a BLACK DOG? Well actually its dead, so it cant do anything!!!

    I surely can only dream of attaining the Zen-ness of His Holy Hairy ‘HIGH’ness…

  10. @N.R- Depends. If your Black Dog carries a trait that was characteristic of a fello-Kodachadrian, then it cud do some things to the Dead Bitch.
    And regarding the PUMBA-highness bit, I knew you’d realise your limits.
    “Old Monk” was named after seeing His Highness. They wanted to make a drink that conveyed so much zen-ness. Could be after Nikhil as well.[ citation needed]

  11. I am sure The Black Dog does not possess Necrophilic tendencies, but i cannot assure you that it is NOT going to “Hump the Whores”!!

    Old Monk was named after Nikhil Balaji[Citation Not Required]

  12. Poe would have used this title for one of his short stories!

  13. @At a loss of words..

    Superb post man. Quite a lot of sentiments. These posts are those which resonate well with the hearts of “22 and still single” junta like myself.

    One quick question: She is reading all this? The post and the comments that followed?

  14. @Kitta:
    I wouldnt know much about Poe man. I dont read his stuff..
    And as far as ur question goes, yes she is reading this stuff. And as Takal commented in that post itself, what about the consequences?
    Simply put there will be no consequences. We dont talk to each other. Our meeting happened to be totally by chance and a 1 time thing. So not to worry about the post or the comments…

  15. A similar pic with the two bottles next to blackie wud have been exceptional.. Blackie reminds me of paris hilton’s dog from sp.. Anyway.. I dint doubt the truthiness of your claims.. Was just leg-pulling… And hey joe was one of THE funniest dcpp moment ever… Alcoholic blogger eh? How you demean me.. My blog is sad enough as it is without me bitchin bout midnight inebriated strolls… Anyway your zen-ness is improving… Maybe His high-ness will induct you in his league soon…till then, Keep drinkin , dawg.

  16. @Logik: Paris Hilton’s dog! Too much. I only hope that Blackie won’t shoot himself in the head getting fed up of NR. 🙂

    @NR: Alcoholic blogger Logik! Very well described. I have heard of different kinds of bloggers like atheist bloggers etc but this was the first time I came across the term alcoholic blogger.

    I am a strict teetotaller and so I do not have any “moral rights” to comment on the “Hey Joe” incident. 🙂

    Last but not the least, the pic of ur facecut with the two bottles reminded me of Jack Nicholson’ face from the movie ‘The Shining’. You know, that obsessive look on the face and all.. 🙂

  1. Pingback: Going Back Home After 3 Years | Rectilinear Redemption

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